nina treemonkey
@ninatreemonkey
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when I was 15 I shit my pants and spent the day trying to convince my mom I sat in coffee
Missouri, USA
Joined April 2009
{Commercial for Floors} Is this you? {footage of man falling endlessly to oblivion}
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Yall let’s free Britney thisll be so great!! {Britney’s demons}
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Judge: "pls describe the criminal" Me: "she had them apple bottom jeans" Lawyer: "and boots with the fur?" {the whole jury lookin at her}
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There are people who can eat a mint. And then there are people who’s entire persona changes into a person who eats mints.
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Me as a teenager finally seeing a real life penis, “I don’t know that this looks that much like the drawings, guys.”
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I will kill one Britney staff member every day until someone hands her a goddamn q-tip and tells her she has mascara under her eyes
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Tell your kids they're gonna swallow 20 iguanas in their sleep so when they find out its spiders it doesn't seem so bad
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I don't even like sleep, it's just the only way I can eat spiders
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Wish there was about 8000 more buttons I’d have to push before getting gas
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I would like to purchase a filter for my ears which allows me to never have to hear anyone say “daddy” in a sexual manner ever again
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“I’m here live, I’m not a cat,” says lawyer after Zoom filter mishap “I can see that,” responds judge
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Wow my hair looks ok today. I should brush it and turn it into a frizzy hell-fired birds nest
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Does everyone else get really horny when they see a mouth now?
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