star6!*☆
@1seanmcbride
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i just got here.
Johannesburg, South Africa
Joined November 2017
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So, story time: my last relationship and how I got played,
some of you are usually curious because I’m so vague about it yet still tweet about it but tonight I’ll tell story.
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I once asked “whose pussy is this?” and before I could even finish the question she put her finger on my lips & shushed me 😭 I couldn’t nut after that, I was devastated, I’ve never asked that question ever since.
“Whose pussy is this”
Her: *moans to avoid the question* 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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y’all asleep?
I think the single worst experience I’ve had with relationships is how little consideration is given to me, I’m always the one constantly forgiving, being patient & assuring but when it comes to me? One wrong move and I could never come back from that.
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I like what I like
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asexual people are so lucky bc what do you mean you have no sexual desire towards anyone?? lust has taken me places I wouldn’t go with a gun.
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*me wearing a Liverpool jersey*
another boy: “you guys aren’t winning the league bro”
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I know her love life and I want no part of it at all thanks 🙏🏾
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Nevermind, I just saw the baddies at his table, he needed it. 🤝🏽
I sent this nigga money because he said he NEEDED it, why is he posting WhatsApp statuses at Sunday Roast ordering bottles?
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I told the story for the plot, I didn’t post faces or names for a reason so whoever posted her please delete.
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For everyone asking if I’m okay? I’m good, and I appreciate the love and compassion and the jokes too 😭
And if you asking me to write a book? I write songs (first EP soon, pls listen when it’s out 🥺), poems, stories and one day hopefully a movie…
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new header.
lmao, she won??
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Epilogue
If you made it this far, appreciate you sexy! 😌 I left out a number of details for the purpose of making it clear and concise including:
- How I weaponised my social media presence to control the situation…
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then she was audacious enough to ask me “baby are you okay?” mid-chest stroke in cuddles? I was laying there staring at the ceiling thinking which one of her hoe stories still has primary ownership of that pussy 😭💔
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The first thing I saw was this, an Apple Music playlist for that “Bestfriend” I mentioned in Act 2, and the cover? It was them kissing 🙂 I found out I was being played on Apple Music (pun intended)…
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She posted a story gifting a guy for his birthday and the caption read, “happy birthday to my BOYFRIEND”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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- How she looked through my entire phone because she didn’t trust me
- How she had an obsession with this one Twitter gent
- How she only called me “baby” when nobody is around
- How she weaponised mental health as the reason for the inconsistency…
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TL asleep? Stage of Grief: Acceptance - I really did love that girl man, when I said it I meant it and I was ready to make it work regardless of what we went through but I guess not everyone is in it the way you are. We move.
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I’d mourned the relationship weeks before it ended, this was undoubtedly the final nail in the coffin.
The End.
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me with a stranger I just met in the club 30 mins before
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- How forgiving I was but never forgot (it saved me)
I know the consequences of me posting this & I wasn’t the best bf emhlabeni and It’s naive to think she won’t see this at some point, whatever happens so be it, it’s over now.
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growing up is realizing that vanilla is the best flavour for everything
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Now I don’t remember everything that was said, so I’ll let these conversations speak for themselves…
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I hadn’t checked any of her socials in days, I went to her iMessage, blocked, Instagram, blocked, Twitter, soft blocked. Everything she said she wouldn’t do, she did, ghosted and possibly even worse, played in my face, at that point I knew what it was, I accepted it & moved on…
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never counting favours
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Now I know you’re wondering, Sean, you delusional human being, why would you ask her to be your girlfriend after such a fucked up moment? Well, I’m a REAL lover & my logic said, “If we can get through this? We could get through anything” and we did, for a while…
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Doja Cat
Gun to your head, name a South African female rapper with at least 3 hit songs.
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I’m not going to say too much about her, maybe out of respect? maybe out of resentment? idk, I’ll just be tell you about my experience, I’ll try to be unbiased too so as you know strap in, this might be a lot, walk with me.
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I don’t want to say I wasn’t relieved, it was a bittersweet moment because how does a man celebrate not being a father without it being a Jerry Springer-esque situation? I humbled myself and comforted her, at least she was assured that I’d step up if the situation were to arise.
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Now the talking/dating stage was getting serious, we were very exclusive and the romance was stronger than ever, we continued to talk, I wrote her letters, we exchanged songs, I even sent her my favourite poem (I didn’t write this)…
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And poor me, I was falling for this girl, it had all been perfect until then, she sounded remorseful & not mention, she told me she was played in her last relationship and she could never do that to anybody, I absolutely believed it all and I allowed her another chance…
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Nothing changed, the communication was still bad, the ‘I love yous’ and ‘I miss yous’ felt like false assurances and scarce efforts to find what’s lost, I held on much tighter than she but ultimately, one final late night call, we broke up, but that’s not where this story ends…
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Understand that we weren’t in a relationship at this point, we were just seeing each other. So it wasn’t really my place but I was owed some clarity and I let her explain. She was so deeply emotional about the whole situation that I could never say that it didn’t sound genuine…
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Act 1: I met her on twitter… uh, I know. I posted a song that she really loved, to which she commented, she said she wanted to dedicate that song to somebody, I looked through her media & saw how beautiful she is & I knew I had to know more about her, so I sent a DM saying…
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Act 3… coming in a few, gimme 30 mins, I need to eat and finish watching PSG, let me know how it’s going so far 😂❤️🫶🏽
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Everything was flowing again and it’s something about an argument that pierces the veil of the facade perfectionism we tried to show each other, we became open, honest and at our most vulnerable with each other…
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I asked for clarity and she all she said was, “Give me your hand.”
I opened my palm, she took it and put it on her belly. “You feel that?” She said. “Wait… are you saying…?” I muttered, “I think so” she answered.
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From there, we took it to iMessage where we started talking, she asked for my name and I asked for hers, she told me about her culture and I did the same, as you might know, I’m a fiend for Xhosa women but that’s a story for another day...
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She did all she could to come to my place again, but before we could have a meaningful conversation, she was pulling my shirt up, I’m a guy though, I wasn’t complaining, but it was alarming and I took notice how she jumped to the physical before connecting emotionally/mentally?
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Soon after, we went on the first date, I thought I was going to be nervous, so I did the guy thing & brought a sort of mysterious fake confident vibe to the date to mask the shyness, but as soon as I saw her, all my thoughts dispersed, it’s as if I’d seen a long lost lover…
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Act 3: It’s several days after the breakup, I’ve processed everything that had transpired in our relationship & I was finally ready to move on, thereafter I posted this tweet…
TL asleep? Stage of Grief: Acceptance - I really did love that girl man, when I said it I meant it and I was ready to make it work regardless of what we went through but I guess not everyone is in it the way you are. We move.
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We gravitated towards each other like 2 magnets colliding the way we hugged, I knew I was where I was meant to be, it felt right. The date flowed smoothly, we laughed, flirted and touched…
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Music, poetry, art, all things that brought us closer, made us even more sure that we both wanted this, it was genuine and it all felt right and it was the start of a tragic love story…
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Act 2: It was about a week before we went on our second date (& she came to mines), we started to really learn each other in ways that can’t be spoken but observed, she learned about me being an artist and how singing is more than just an artistic outlet but a coping mechanism…
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The day after, we scheduled a call to get to know each other more intimately, her energy was incredible, it was an instant connection between us, not mention the physical attraction we had for each other. We spoke about…
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Mind you, I’m ready to move on but feelings don’t go on & off like a switch, I still have feelings for her, but I sure won’t make it easy for her like that, I had terms & the conditions were: that we may not be perfect but communication could never be an issue for us again…
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The honeymoon phase was done and things started to really get real. I learned of her mental health struggle and all the baggage really started to come out at this point, but we managed to get through it, because we fell in love…
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She led me to my bed & we just laid there in silence while I gathered myself after that incredibly dramatic scenario, and at that moment, I looked up at her and asked, “can I be your boyfriend?” She nodded indicating a ‘yes’. “We’ll be fine… right?” She nodded again…
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I was lost for words…
For this next part, I want to make it clear that I’d been developing panic attacks for the past year due to untreated anxiety and this moment instantly became the canon event of my entire life…
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It’d been a week of us talking, at this point we’d been comfortable with each other on the phone, a little more than comfy, each conversation went from sweet, to sensual, to sexual. Let’s just say, I touched more than just her heart & mind from my voice after a late night call…
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😭😭😭
You can put literally any fictional character on Namek and it’s instantly hilarious
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48 hours was the time it took waiting for the verdict, was I going to have a mini-me? How was is my life going to change after this? Lo and behold, the text came in…
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You guys know I use Spotify to post all my music posts, but I felt like trying out the Apple Music thing and see what it’s really about, so I signed up, it gave me an option to follow all my friends, and there she was on the list, of course I went to her profile…
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Days go by and around this time, life started to get busy, she had work and school, I had work and more work, so dates weren’t as easy to do but the romance was very much alive and we still met at my place consistently…
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At this time the relationship was a wailing contradiction (lmao ‘wailing contradiction’ sounds funny 😭), on one end we are a solid couple, on the other, we have this elephant in the room, but as I said, we’d get through it and we were stronger than ever, until…
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I’m not sure if it was the result of that tweet or a selfish act of redemption but on a random Tuesday, this is the text I received…
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I learned about how she loves writing and journaling as her coping mechanism. All was well at this point but it wasn’t long before I was about to get hit with a bomb I could’ve never have expected, our first argument…
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as a young 20 something living in today’s economy, I’ve stopped caring about career development/advancement, I just want more money to keep my swag up.
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“I don’t know what to say” I said in the most conflicted tone ever. “Well…” she replied. “We spoke about this, so what do you suggest we do?” I asked, “You know, people make it work.” She answered, “so you’re keeping it?” I asked.
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There was a lot of tension building and it needed to be released, so a few days after the New Year’s celebrations, we planned to go on our first date, nothing too crazy, just some smoothies and hanging out at the gallery before we took it to a scenic view so we could talk.
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The tension was so thick you could’ve cut through it like butter, it didn’t take more than an hour before we locked lips, before the day ended, we decided we’d go to my place, we suggested it on the call if it all went well, so we did…
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“I don’t even know if you’d support me if I went through with it” she said, “of course I would, I just wasn’t expecting it like this” I said.
As conflicted as I was, I knew this was my responsibility, because it was my doing.
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When the realisation dawned on me, and it really sunk in, I had the worst panic attack I’ve ever had in my life, tears came down my eyes, I was on the floor shaking and she grabbed me tightly in efforts to comfort me, and assured me that no matter what happens it’ll all be okay.
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Now, we had each others socials of course but I don’t actively use instagram, it’s been about a year & bit since but I still log in from time to time, & it was a random day that I chose to log in & noticed that she posted a story & it was the shock of my life…
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The few arguments we had were on poor communication, we were both horrible communicators to be fair, and she had a big shift in life which I won’t be addressing, but at least we had each other and things were moving, until…
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It got so bad, to the point where we hadn’t spoken in what felt like an entire week, all my efforts to keep it strong fell short, and I started to feel as though I added to her problems and that week was no longer a week, I’d been ghosted…
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Her daily life became a tumultuous event, her mental health wasn’t getting any better and as a result the relationship suffered, communication worsened and every second conversation was an argument…
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“If it’s confirmed? probably” she answered.
This was a situation I would’ve never imagined to be in more than once in my life, considering that we’d been as careful as possible, but I wasn’t naive to the fact that as long we were active, the possibility was there…
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calling my baby and telling her look up into the sky bc I promised her the world and I keep my promises
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And I will say nothing about what happened when we got the my apartment 😂
Then I took her home, thanked her for an amazing day, it was the first of many…
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We hadn’t talked in days, I chose my peace and decided I’d pay no mind to it, if she wanted to, she would but I’ll make no more efforts anymore, all my expectations were gone, until one fateful morning…
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She saw the tweet I posted, and in an effort to save face pleaded with me that she’d never ghost, she’d been going through some troubles, I tried to understand because I knew what was going on, so we agreed to continue to be together, the only problem is…
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She’d been gone for a few days, due to unforeseen events in her personal life, when she came back, I asked her to come over, catch up & make sure we’re still on the same page (which we were), I told her I missed her, she missed me too & I asked her show me how much she did…
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She’d been on my case about why I’d taken so long to ask her to be my girl, it made her skeptical of my intentions, this was my way of reassuring that our relationship was real, by making it official, I took her home that evening & she told me to wait on the results…
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It was always just a thought & now that it was a reality, I had no idea how to process it
She saw the distress in my face and said “If I knew this was going to be your reaction…” I interjected, “You know that it wasn’t the plan, but I won’t tell you what to do with your body.”
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She agreed to these terms, and did all she could to make things right, looking back, it seemed like a false effort at regaining access to me for her own benefit, I say this because…
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The romantic in me needed to find a solution, so I decided on making a last ditch effort in a big romantic gesture to spark that fire and desire again, so I decided to show up at her job on last minute notice to pick her up and pour my heart out to her…
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noooo 😭💔
Girls love putting “😩” after a lie
“I just got home 😩”
“Omg I just saw this 😩”
“I went bed early 😩”
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Up until this point we 100% made sure that we stayed safe and that by no means could we put a bun in the oven, because we both knew we couldn’t survive that without ruining our lives, but this time when I brought it up, she seemed a bit unsure…
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The following week, she came over again, but this time it was different. We didn’t talk much, we expressed love in a more… intimate manner and I brought up a subject that’s been prevalent throughout from day we met…
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The date was great, I took her out for lunch, we talked, reconnected and hashed things out, it felt like things would go back to normal and we’d be together again, properly this time, I took her back home but in an unfortunate event once again, we didn’t talk…
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At that point, I’d almost lost all hope, I knew it was over, the tiny speck of hope I had told me she’d come around after she’d figured herself out, but she never did & what I found out later devastated me…
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To no surprise to me, not much had changed but all I knew was that we wanted to find a way to make it work, but at this point my hope was dwindling fast…
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did the 2nd date (she takes the best photos of me)
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😌🫶🏽
Act 3: It’s several days after the breakup, I’ve processed everything that had transpired in our relationship & I was finally ready to move on, thereafter I posted this tweet…
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It worked, only for a moment though, I set up a date for us 2 days ahead of my surprise visit to her, so that’s what we did…
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My phone is blown up, every second tweet is this thread or a think piece I’ll try to reply everything tomorrow evening, I only had 2 hours of sleep a night ago. Goodnight guys. 😌🫶🏽
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9/10 times when I get a baddie’s number I hardly text them, I just wanted to know that I still got it.
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