Zoey Profile
Zoey

@z_westwood

Followers
11,666
Following
655
Media
830
Statuses
3,786

She/her❤️ Naarm Melbourne ❤Full time cat lady and shit stirrer; occasional seductress❤️ Musings and animal pics

Victoria, Australia
Joined July 2017
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I've got some last minute spots for later today in South Yarra 🌻 (Replace the photo of my skirt with yoga pants because it's so cold lol)
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Please for the love of God, tell me this is a prank @NobodyCaresJim #nothanks
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Let me be your best kept secret - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
I just had to out myself to this fucking class because the language was so offensive from both the students and teacher. I am shaking.
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Two weeks until I jet off overseas for the first time in three years! 🦋 Book me so I can splurge on all the food and activities 🥰😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Let me be your best kept secret - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Let me be your best kept secret - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Will I ever stop doing claw hands in photos? Probably not ✌🏻 Ps. The back of this @kisskill_ body suit is very…. *cheeky* 🍑
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Check out my verified Realbabes profile for more info and photos - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
I just want to hug the sw in st Kilda.
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
100 days! I’ve always looked at other people beginning sobriety but never thought it was something I was capable of. I don’t know what the future holds but feeling free and in control of my own choices is pretty good for now. 🫖
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
I’m fully vaccinated!!!!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I’m planning a couple of regional tours in the coming weeks! It’s time to get out of the city again 🍃🦙 If you’ve signed up for tour announcements via my website, keep an eye out for info this week 😉
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Drop your favourite Ballarat cafes/restaurants below pls! I'm visiting this Thursday & Friday 😍 Get in touch: 0472792618
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I have some last minute availability tomorrow 🌻 Melbourne CBD Get in touch x
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
It took until 1.30am but I finally reduced my favourite pics from my shoot with @SilkLabPhoto from 180 to 64. PROGRESS! How am I meant to choose when the unedited photos are this good?!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Three students in my class have offered to co-sign and write the complaint regarding the misinformation being taught in our class (the horrible sw comments). I feel so emotional over their support 🥲
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 months since my last ~hotel elevator selfie~ It’s definitely time to get back into it 😉 Who will I meet first? 😜
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Be a good boy and caption this...... - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I’m pretending that I can’t meet someone until 11am because I’m busy, but really I just need a break from people for an hour 😂 I’m hiding at the beach in my car lol
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I hugged a baby wombat and baby Tasmanian devil today and cried a bit. Love U Tassie 💙
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
I found a forgotten icon in one of my shoe boxes 😂 (feet pic of the day?)
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Living out of the city has its (very cute) perks sometimes 🐨
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
You didn’t do what you thought you did here Celeste 🥱🤔
@celestebarber_
Celeste barber
3 years
We are sick of you objectifying our bodies! Also, here’s my ass.
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@z_westwood
Zoey
5 months
Best steaks in Melbourne? Me and a girlfriend are feeling ravenous 😝
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I’m filling out a form for an appointment that asked me how often I leave things til the last minute. The form was due a week ago and the appointment is in 30 minutes 🤪😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I did something amazing today. It will improve my life so much. I’m shocked I finally did it!!! I finally got the grocery bags off the kitchen floor and put them in my car 😂😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I want to be as happy and carefree as pup 🤠✨
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
I just cracked the shits after a year and dobbed in our neighbours from hell for yet another round of screaming/partying/restriction-breaking. OOPS!!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Love you @SilkLabPhoto for getting me out of yoga pants for this shoot. Obsessed! 🍾🍏
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Sorry to any neighbours that heard me butchering Evanescence in the bath 🛀🎤😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Simply irresistible...... - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
🤠 Find me where the wild things are 🦁 📸 @silklabphoto
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
I am AVAILABLE TODAY in Melbourne - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I am AVAILABLE TONIGHT in Ballarat - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Life comes at you fast... One day you're at a club until 3am and at work at 9am Now you're going home after 30 minutes because you have 1 fireball but forgot to pack Nexium for heartburn, and why doesn't the music have any singing? 😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Is there any better form of praise and acceptance than your psychologist telling you they're proud of you? Oof, so good.
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
@Brandnewcaddi @NobodyCaresJim It makes no sense! I'll choose my 'old fellas' who pay my rates over a 29 year old begging in my inbox every day of the week.
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Be a good boy and caption this...... - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Does anyone wanna see the cutest photo of me and our puppy napping in an oodie lol 🥲🥲
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I've re-enrolled in a past course to finish a couple of units I missed. I'm equally riddled with anxiety and proud of myself for pushing through the (unnecessary) embarrassment of not completing higher education in a single linear attempt. Gotta take the advice I give to others!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
I have a case study for class which is about, and I quote, a client that "prostitutes herself" to buy drugs. Which follows the teachers comment last week on "girls get sugar daddies for EASY MONEY and to SELL DRUGS" I am losing my mind!!!!!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Hot tip: if your car battery is going to die, do it at IKEA so you can get a hotdog while you wait for RACV 🥲🤪
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Short hair has made its return 🥰
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Hello sun, please stay a while 🦭☀️
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Does everyone wave to traffic controllers when you drive past them? Or is that a country thing or something lmao
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Let me be your best kept secret - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Ooh another fun fact from today. I think i've officially cemented myself as the 'difficult woman' at my lockdown safe job for calling out a male colleagues horrible behaviour. Apparently i'm referred to as SS (shit stirrer)??? LOL!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
So I am trying to do this assignment about my cultural background etc, but I am white and Irish. I asked mum for some insight and she literally responded with "POTATOES".
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Oooh I found another dodgy directory scrapping our ads. Apparently I'm 20 years old and specifically enjoy car blowjobs 😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Omg it wasn't a prank! They still didn't get my rate correct either lol 🤦🏼‍♀️
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Look at the squishy baby 😭
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Let me be your best kept secret - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
A man just told me they don’t have flybuys because ‘that’s how the government tracks us’ and I can’t stop laughing …. Has he not heard of rent/jobs/banks/phones/cctv???
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Let me be your best kept secret - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Guys my family got a puppy today and we’ve never had a puppy before and I’m too excited for any punctuation oops
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@z_westwood
Zoey
6 months
Hot 🔥 tip The vegan golden gaytimes are half price at Coles and Woolies 🥳 (I got two packs, obviously)
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Be a good boy and caption this...... - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Lmao I drove 40 minutes to class to find out it’s actually on Friday and online :)
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I’m on hold to myGov/Medicare. Please send thoughts and prayers 🥲
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Pup and his new bestie are the coolest bffs in town 🤠
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
How, as a teacher are you making students learn about sex work and also believe it is ILLEGAL in the state you are teaching in. I am so angry
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
I just had the dumbest thought that I shouldn’t really be admitting. I thought: “I wish audiobooks had subtitles” ........ like..... a real fucking book 🤦🏼‍♀️🥴
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
What the hell is this sudden infestation in my inbox? Blood Moon? I've been cursed? This is a whole different person! 😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
@HiKylieKennedy Last week I was literally told ‘wow you look really good for your age’ I’m 28!!! Put them all in the bin
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
If someone could find a house/apartment for me so I don’t have to, that’d be great 😂
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Cleo smith has been found alive! Wow. So shocked and relieved. What the hell has this little girl had to go through
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I’m just a 20-something woman cooking maple bacon for her elderly cat 💁🏼‍♀️🐱🥓
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
My 6 month old spoodle just climbed a fucking gum tree 😩
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Simply irresistible...... - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Some helpful info for clients of nails artists AND sex workers 🤪
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I think it is about time that you contact me.... - you find me on Realbabes -
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Dear rental fairies, send me a 2 bed art deco apartment with some outside space please 😩
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
Spontaneous Geelong tour this Sunday? If you pre-book then I'll be there! * Pay a deposit by Friday midnight and I'll take $50 of the hourly rate #geelong
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
Me being a dork and explaining to @dilaraday_ that when you have an umbrella you simply MUST do a ~little jump~
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I have some availability Tuesday and Wednesday for a mid-week romp 😘
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@z_westwood
Zoey
3 years
A bit of good news for today’s timeline. I had a fairly positive experience with a new GP when disclosing my job. I’ll happily take that little win!
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@z_westwood
Zoey
2 years
I wanna bring one of the animals on tours with me bc i miss them so much when I'm away 😰 How weird is this out of 10 lol
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@z_westwood
Zoey
1 year
Oh hey! 😋 I have some availability tomorrow (Friday) night and Sunday. Come hang out x 🌻
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