mel
@yourpalmel
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Now that I wear a Garmin I get so much respect. Other runners smack my ass (respectfully) when I pass. At the gym ppl go “after you, I insist”. When I’m stressed at work I say “my heart rate is in zone 4 I’m literally at threshold” and my boss says “girl.. I’m givin you a raise!”
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The only thing that motivates me to run is mental illness so idk if I ever want to get better. Heart hurts but heart also strongest its ever been. Real Dilemma by Kelly Rowland and Nelly situation…
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Can everyone please leave me alone but, like, never leave me alone and pay very close attention to me and love me very much but also, like, leave me alone?
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No crop? Ok here I am about to get precancerous cells blasted tf out of me, reminding you to get regular fricken paps!!!!
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if this is true how come my landlord's agent Bob Bracken told me I'm being unreasonable and "causing problems" when I said I don't want him to run an open house in my apartment tomorrow?
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Cool part of tour is all the men who have never been behind a drum kit throwing me unsolicited drumming tips. Learning a lot!
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Promoters for big companies (i.e. bluepr*nt, m*g) are WILD. We ask a basic question and get a rude one liner response from some ding dong who’s trying to get us to sell tickets to a show they’re literally being paid to promote after offering us a tiny $ guarantee. Fucked!!!!
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Touring is just sampling the world’s most fucked up tasting tap water
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Thinking of the nurses who helped my Nanay learn how to use the dumb phone I brought her so we can talk while she’s isolated in hospital and how they should be making a billion dollars a year, also I’m crying
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it happened to me: my parents read the
@exclaimdotca
article and now they know I fuck
We're very excited to be putting out a record for
@wearenecking
🎂 'Cut Your Teeth' is out worldwide July 5th.
@exclaimdotca
just shared the ferocious first single "Big Mouth" 🎂 listen now:
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hot take but this new coffee shop call out instagram page is peak white feminism cringe posting 🤡
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Yesterday I shot a music vid with my band and today I spent like 6 hours looking at the same spreadsheet at my university admin job. That’s show biz baby!!!
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remembering when my ex showed me a song he wrote and it was super romantic and I was like aw is this about me and he was like no
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Just a reminder—I have an English degree. My favourite book is As I Lay Juuling by Willy Fuckner.
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if you text someone “look at the moon” and they don’t look at the moon do yourself a favour and delete their number
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should I start smoking again to quit juuling or start eating bread again to quit being a lil bitch
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Once my ex did a stand-up bit about how all girlfriends do is cry and make you visit their parents, then he cried on the drive home because he thought I was mad about it. It was actually very funny. The drive home I mean, not the joke.
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I say this so whoever I’m with won’t hear me peepee
"you don't have to pause it" - the most heartbreaking sentence in the world
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Yes, I was trapped in the corner of a restaurant when my ex and his entire family came in and yes, I immediately ran out and yes, I accidentally hit his grandma in the head with my bag and yelled sorry without looking back, and yes, this moment will haunt me until the day I die.
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My upstairs neighbours stomp and stomp and also wear boots in the house half the time. And they have a giant dog that barks and makes Clementine go nuts. But I have a soft spot for them because my heart is too forgiving & they make me feel less alone. They’re hot too.
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this year was weird but at least the guy I rent parking from texted me happy new year right at midnight!!! He has a family but do u think he wants to date me? I am ready to risk it all. 2021 baby!!!!!!!
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ok I got a kitten and she’s cute, I love her. But then I realized I will be like 45 when she dies. Sorry if u are 45 but damn.....
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white people working in a minimalist yuppie coffee shop in the DTES asking for “reparations” with the audacity to say the coffee shop guy is tone deaf???? You gotta laugh
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Like Jesus, I have risen from my bender wounded and confronted with a bunch of bullshit
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You should be able to take a leave from work when you’re falling in love. I should be laying in tall grass writing a poem or some shit, not in an office dealing with a fucko who keeps calling me Michelle.
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developing chill cool guy attitude 1 hour after sobbing into my kitten’s shit and vom. Merry fucking Christmas!!!!!!🎄
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Patrick Bateman obv but people thought I was some kind of anime character… they hate to see a half azn woman winning
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here’s another single and another article in which I overshare and make my mom feel weird
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I’m looking at my 6’5” loving husband who doesn’t know what therapy speak is btw
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submitting my first grad school paper an hour before it’s due and two beers deep to prove that I am still young and free and dumb and an idiot 😘
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if like me you’re feeling especially alone right now..idk I have no advice. Sucks. Drinking doesn’t help, watching the classic film Crazy, Stupid, Love twice in a row doesn’t help, read? no thx (BA eng lit btw and I’m over it), do not tell me to meditate as I refuse to be present
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why am I as a woman being asked to pick the restaurant??? I’m already soo scared
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Didn’t think it was possible for anyone past the age of 16 to be moved by the song There is a Light That Never Goes Out but here I am... I want to see people and I want to see life... Bitch
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Don’t cry for me when I die
I’ll be vaping the big vape in the sky
When u see a cloud that’s me
Juulin with god and ur granny
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wawa erasure
water is like the oldest beverage ever and somehow has no nickname. no one is ever like "sure could go for a cup of that clear" or whatever. huge oversight imo
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soft launching being annoying by saying I’m sad right before he’s about to fall asleep
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😈
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we’re all the same—solving the daily wordle during our caca du matin, alone
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best part of the show is when the band is tuning and all you can hear is the soft, sweet jingle of every punk’s carabiner keychain
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when beautiful white women cry alone, small birds fly in and wipe her tears, dress her, tie her hair up in a bow. if only lana opened a window instead of her typewriter app :(
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in the interest of bragging, I just went for a run after two weeks of not being able to do anything at all and I feel fucking superhuman
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Last night a guy at the bar asked if I was “city or jungle” asian and then when I was like ???? he said, “don’t worry it’s not offensive”
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boyfriends making dinner are like hmmm guess I have to cook each ingredient separately, one at a time, despite the fact that my beautiful perfect girlfriend has many pots and pans and four burners on the stove!! dinner will be ready in 5 hours!!!
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breakups are crazy bc you'll smell something nice and be like "what's the point of smells if you're just smellin alone........"
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Stop being a coward
@netflix
and add the real genres: angry just like you, romantic revenge stories, horror (loud), horror (quiet), there’s a goat in this, not much happens but makes you feel like a person who knows film, comedy-ish.
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Showed a coworker one of my favourite vines and he said, "hm, not funny." I hate my life my job myself and the world.
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not to be all running twitter on main but I just ran a personal best and nobody I know cares, so here I am!!! thx and god bless 😘
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what they don’t tell you about dating someone who is actually hot is it rocks and there’s no downside
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what’s the power move to make when you invite someone to your show and they say they’re busy because they’re going to a show, not knowing it’s the same show you’re playing? Not sure!!! But I think we’ll write a song about it.
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cute that my stepdad taught my how to act when a man tucks me into a chair or whatever you call it. Like when you half sit but a dude pushes the chair in for you. Has never happened to me once but good to know I know how to squat like a lady should some psycho freak do it someday
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can’t wait to see mount eerie and all the worst men I’ve ever dated at red gate tonight 💕
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wondering if it’s ok to bully the fucko who brought a bluetooth speaker to the laundromat
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cis white women are being classified as “diverse talent” now so riot grrrl really IS coming back! Punk rock baby!!!
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If tinder has taught me anything it’s that there are many full grown adult men out there still obsessed with Harry Potter and skateboarding
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my body is my own, it is my house, and so I only put things I love in it—like 12 cigs, 6 pickles, ok wine, and then some vape after why not
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what they don’t tell you about grad school is you’re gonna have to do a lot of group projects with some of the stupidest people you’ve ever met in your life (moi)
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New video! Shot back when we could all drink from the same bottle of baby duck it wasn’t considered a death wish
A punk band, a dog, and a bouncer walk into a hotel room... Watch the new
@wearenecking
vid for 'Spare Me' now:
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me on vacation: miserable bitch
me on my first day back to work: miserable bitch reporting for duty
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Caught my creepy upstairs neighbour at the laundromat reading Jordan Peterson. Much worse than my fear of getting caught in the middle of a cute indie band photoshoot at the laundromat. I think.
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every day my boyfriend makes references I do not understand, everyday I nod and laugh, I never ask, we just move on. Life doesn’t stop for anyone or for your weird references, Graeme
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this absolute ding dong told me that he doesn't believe the "hype" around the virus and demanded that I "show him the data" to back up why it's a bad idea to let a ton of people into my 300 sq ft apartment at one time while I'm in self-quarantine?!???!!!!!! c'est QUOI??!?!??!!!
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Guy at bar says he thinks he saw our band but isn't sure because he couldn't see the stage and "all lady bands sound the same." Wow!!! Men continue to impress me!!!!!!
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🤘🏼🤑🤘🏼
Post-punk band
@wearenecking
is "too broke to party, but not too broke to spend hundreds of dollars at IKEA," and honestly same.
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Men drumming is a bit off-putting to me, like… sir… that’s for girls
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