tw: sh
!! fake! it's just for Halloween :)
god this cig tasted so bad, so glad I v4pe instead 💀💀
(also ignore me saying ow towards the end, it's my first time bxrn1ng myself)
sometimes I just get too d3pr3ssed to. and I hate my body to the point where I dont even wanna look at it with clothes on, so showering on the really bad days is a big no no
I want more shtwt, edtwt, and goretwt moots so here's another intro for the time being
I'm 18
My ugw is 55lbs
I repost a lot of memes
I post censored bcs + sh
I have bpd so some of my posts are just me spiraling
I v4pe a lot too
like and rt to be moots🧡🧡
i feel sick to my stomach. the glitter sequins, the colourful socks- she should be playing with her friends and starting her life with love. not this. this is sick.
just b1ng3d a few hours ago and now I never wanna eat again :,) and this is after I fucking gained too 💀💀 maybe I'll never be skinny and just die fat and ugly and unlovable
I love how everything that happens to me is just fucking proof that I wasnt meant to be here nor do I deserve to. I'm a waste of everything and nobody wants me around bc I fucking complain all the time. but who wouldn't? I got stuck with a mistake of a brain and body.
I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough I'm not sick enough
just realized one of my friends posted a picture of me on insta after homecoming when I looked like shit and everyone else looked good. I'm asking her to delete those pictures and hope she will. if not istg I'll relapse and completely destroy my skin
I fucking hate that my w31ght HAS to fluctuate. like nawwwwww if we gotta stay consistent for w31ght l0ss then why cant our bodies just keep l0s1ng w31ght whenever were r3str1ct1ng/f4$t1ng?
anyway my body fucking sucks. I hate it so much and would love for a different one :(
lmaooooo my only friend from school isn't even talking to me rn...
oh well at least I've still got you guys. sometimes I may be screaming into a void but at least none of you will ruin anything for me 🧡🧡
I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cxt I need to cx
lmaooooo not people complimenting my outfits when I literally only wear those outfits when I'm fucking d3pr3ssed 💀💀💀 idk maybe I should just fucking 🔚 myself at this point and then everyone will love me
ughhhhhh I couldn't get my edibles on Friday bc of that fucking r3t4rd that reported Myles to the guidance counselors and now I cant get them bc the friend that should be here is skipping.... so that means BIGGER AND BETTER CXTS BABY!!!
god I just had the worst breakdown of my life 💀💀 I hope I never experience that again. this is why I hate being sober, cuz I'm sad all the fucking time :( doesn't help I got my period
man why do I miss the way my body feels when I'm h1gh? I miss the heart palps, I miss the struggling to breathe, I miss the euphoria coursing through my veins. I know it was just last night but that felt so fucking good, I didnt have to worry about anything, just turning down
ig the best part about me being this fucking d3pr3ssed is the fact that it lowers my appetite by 10000000% so I guess me being this sad is a good thing for my w31ght l0ss
I've always just avoided bringing food into my room (which is where I get h1gh). also I blast a lot of music and sometimes take a little more so my heads too swirly for me to wanna eat anything
god I'm so fucking tired. the motivation I had to do my homework is now gone and I'm really hoping I can do at least some of it tonight so I dont have to deal with it all Sunday night