XIN (xinjin) 🫐 shedtwt
@xinscryingagain
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16 n perpetually sad | PLEASE DNI FATPHOBES, NON SH/EDTWT
he they ☆★ bmi 1 million 🐟
Joined September 2023
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my
#edtwt
intro
XIN
☆ he,they 16
☆ chinese
☆ anorexia
☆ cw ~50kg, bmi 20s
☆ ugw 30kg / 66lbs
☆ pro recovery
☆ DNI FATPHOBES, FATSPO etc
♡︎/↻ 2 be mutuals
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does anyone else spend sm time on edtwt that they neglect their other socials
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my bf just JUST SAID THAT WE NEEDED TO TALK ABT MY EDTWT ACC AND THAT HE WANTS TO CALL ME. WHAT DO I DO GUYS
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@starrythiins
i an so sick of the most mediocre 13yos putting problematic in their bio always posting the coldest take n being like woah 😂😂 here come the triggered snowflake liberals! like please nobody but urself thinks ur brave for posting something gross or hateful online anonymously
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“fuck this ed i food tastes great n im fine” fighting the “starve and u’ll feel better and be better n if u eat u’ll js lose ur progress” thoughts rn
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just blocked a 13yo for postinf a list of their kinks … ik minors have a sex drive too but dont post stuff like that it makes me rlly uncomfortable
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hi hello ive been lurking on edtwt for a while n ive been on n off for this disorder but im relapsing n just want a place to talk n find community because having an ed is so incredibly lonely
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cuz i had an insta acc where i was living my niche microcelebrity dream but now ive lost sm followers cuz ive been inactive since i joined edtwt
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first thing my dad said when he visited was “wow you should exercise more. youve gained weight” he didnt even say hi. i wish hed fuck off i hate my dad. i havent even gained all ive done is lose weight fml
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im actual getting so tired guys please dni BLOCK ME if u r fatphobic or follow fatspo or other fatphobic accs i hate clicking on their profiles and seeing my moots follow like its in my bio its in my pinned post its in my carrd please fuck off
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my sister just opened up 2 me abt her eating disorder which i suspected already but i feel awful. shes younger than me so she sees me as a role model. did she notice my habits? was it too obvious?? fuck
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is it real that the diff between ana n atypical ana is that the person isnt underweight??? srsly??
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does anyone else hide their ed not because you dont wanna be found out but because you feel bad knowing theyll feel guilty for not being able to do anything?
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my boyfriend is irl thinspo im crying im gnna kms
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@ihughellokitty
i liked that the long haired guy didnt actually gaf abt her weight if i remembr correctly (he was my fav for this reason) but yea this anime is triggering as hell
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its not fair it feels like everyone ik who has/had an ed is recovering why am i still relapsing i feel so alone and behind
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SH FREE FOR 50 DAYS YESSSSSS FREAK YEAEVERYBODY CHEER 🎉🎉🥳🎊🍾🍾
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i could theoretically lose weight w a healthy cal deficit but i hate mysefl n must starve
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it feels weird ppl r getting mad @ “weird” stuff like age regressing cuz at the end of the day everyone here is traumatised n disordered n suffering… nobody on shedtwt is healthy and normal there will b a few silly weirdos and that is okay as long as it doesnt hurt anyone
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i forgot abt the guilt i fasted 14hrs today n i still felt awful for eating within my cal budget afterwards!!! what the hell
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can anyone else only sh or starve but not both ? like if i sh then that day i eat but if im fasting then i cant sh. or is this weird?? maybe its js lack of energy
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FUCK TIKTOK BECOMING A PROANA WEBSITE FUCK EVERYONE PROMOTING THIS SHIT IS HELL I DONT WANT AN EATING DISORDER BUT THEYRE ADVERTISING IT THERE
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why r all the goal weight calculators telling me “unsafe” instead of the actual answers??? pissing me off
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when someone asks what my cal intake is but its literally as unpredictable as my mood
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gross gross grossgrossgrossgroasgrossgrossgross gross gross
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scrolling thru edtwt is more addicting than my own ed wtaf
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anyone else feel guilty after eating anything cuz of the feeling in their stomach rather than the cals ? or is this more of an arfid thing
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its so annoying i cant restrict i can only exercise cuz my dad is so strict w food he checks to make sure we ate at least 2 meals a day im dying
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i will starve today because its what i deserve
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i want ppl to notice me starving and be worried but i also dont want them to stop me… what do i do???????!!?!?!?!?
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seeing the name of an irl who ik struggled w an ed and checking their race/age etc to make sure its not them omg i had a heart atk
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i hate ppl irl knowing im dosordered and then eating in front of them i feel so fake
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stupid thing is i get irrationally mad whenever a nondisordered person complains abt being hungry
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i am alive guys i got caught n they called emergency services 💀 was so embarassing but im alive woohoo
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@Glitterflavoure
being drunk doesnt automatically excuse someones behaviour does ur friend not know how being drunk works…? u dont turn into a new person youre still you n ur actions still affect ppl and have consequences. drop this friend id b so quick to block them
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@died4uu
imo if ur hateful in one way ur hateful in another i dont think ive ever met someones thats solely fatphobic and not like racist or homophobic or anything else
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wait until ugw for recovery or suicide it depends how silly i feel that day
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@sehyeoncals
idk if ur joking or not but being fat isnt a choice a lot of the time, sometimes necessary medication for survival makes someone gain weight, sometimes fast food/high cal foods are all someone can afford n they deserve to be treated w respect regardless of weight
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I HATE SEEING IRL THINSPO FUCK ITS SO TRIGGERING
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@cats_333_
“controversial” n theyre screaming into the void like bro u have 36 followers nobodys gonna cancel u chill out
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also please dni fatphobes or people that make fun of fat/plus sized ppl just for existing i do NOT fuck w that kinda contrnt
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trying very hard not to relapse. after a month or so
cut
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call someone
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@sharkmelons
looks fantastic omg!! i think its enough but you could always ask him if hes still hungry after he finishes and use that as a reference for next time
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i hate having bpd i feel like i cant trust my brains opinions on anyone
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i dont feel valid enough because ive never been hospitalised
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@lumiebunn
dude she changed her user after all the callout posts 💀 also she says shes 16 now but her current bio says 2x5+1 which is 11 ?????
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why does my mum have to be so good at cooking omfg im drooling but im fasting rn fuck me
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@purincals444
@OURGALLERIA
i think most abuse victims arent actually aware of themselves when theyre being abusive cuz what they went thru would b nomalised in their heads or something similar, n unless u call them out on it they dk
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@swisscls
hey man dont say this kind of stuff to people you arent even mutuals with it makes me extremely uncomfortable
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very much thinking of recovery but also very much thinking of being sicker
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im gonna lose weight enough so that people will care and be concerned 4 me. i js want ppl to care
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fuck i miss being at a negative bmi ik 20 is close but it feels like such a huge different
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i keep fucking eating can somebody please sew my mouth shut
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btw if i follow anyone shitty or problematic or whatever pls lmk i follow a bunch of ppl n only glance at their bios to check their dni!! i js had to block someone i didnt know i was moots w
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js blocked one of my moots for posting uncensored sh sigh
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would it b inappropriate 4 a minor to post a bodycheck if the “private”(?) parts r cropped/censored or not?
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mfs that trash on ppls bodies and appearances that dont post their own faces r sooo lame
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NO! STOP THAT! STOP LYING ABOUT UR AGE AND ACTUALLY BEING 12! PLEASE STOP!
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@Starcals0
if your boyfriend is touching you without ur consent you should have a serious talk with him, you deserve respect and if its not addressed he’ll feel comfortable with doing so in the future, please take care of yourself and stay safe
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lost 2kg already maybe last time it was just waterweight
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ugh i hate when friends pressure u to eat its so awkward n they try 2 guilt u into eating makes me feel like shit
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anyone else get the multiple personality type results ??? most of these were just symptoms of bpd so it makes sense .. i am def not schizoid tho
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i hate having ptsd i hate having dreams and nightmares of people that have hurt me i hate living with them on my head
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can anyone else not do vent art because a bad mental state ruins their ability to use the skills theyve learnt n theyre js too emotional 2 make it look good
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@bbylivspo
yes all my friends think its strange i take so long to decide on the littlest things but all thr money adds up and im afraid itll go back to how it was before so im rlly paranoid
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i wish j could eat no fat yoghurt n make those cute fruit bowls but the texture is literally a nightmare
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only time ive been happy abt my depression is when it suppresses my appetite 🙏
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actually maintained while eating more omg me being sick burns cals YES
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i cant believe i have 2 say this again but DNI FATPHOBES / FATSPO ETC. i dont want ppl spreading hate for no reason we r all suffering together!!! there is no reason to make someone elses life worse when its alr bad enough theyre on sh/edtwt!!
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i dont wanna change therapists its such a chore having to explain my whole life and my diagnoses and my symptoms and my struggles over and over again i wish i could afford a private one so i wouldnt have to do all this
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anyone else been isolated a LOT more since developing their ed / relapsing ? eg i txt my friends way less and barely go outside w them now …
yes ive isolated now
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yes a lot
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yes a little bit
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no
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btw when i say recovery dni i mean willing recov! the whole point is to not trigger anyone recovering into a relapse, ty 4 understanding!
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2wks clean of sh :) actually vry proud of myself
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@thetawavves
ud look so fire but also theres no shame in cancelling apts, u dont have to tell him abt ur mental state / the reason why u cancel, u could js say u wanna rethink it or another excuse. but if u do decide to get it its all good too, show pics !!!!!
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@madwomann777
ITS SO GOOD I FUCKING LOVE LATTE ART i used 2 work at a cafe n my coworkers new i loved it so whenever they made something theyd call me over to show me
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i miss not being consumed by thoughts of food and numbers
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i think i might also start interacting w shtwt (hashtag relapse) so if u dont wanna see that on ur feed pls softblock me!
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@died4uu
I KNOW its like wdym u didnt starve for days and then binge and lose all ur progress and then go on one of those aesthetic diet plans only for the outcome to be that u lost 1lbs 😐
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