Pavlov
@worstmichael
Followers
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Following
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Milwaukee’s Sweetheart & Resident Birder
Joined May 2009
ladies. if he says he can’t see you because he’s sick but you spot him at the apartment of a recently murdered pawnbroker, that’s not your mans. That’s Raskolnikov, protagonist of Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s 1866 classic, “Crime and Punishment”.
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Half the guys on Love is Blind are like “I hate women and I don’t know how to read but I think I’m ready for true love”.
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For the cost of the failed F-35 program, the United States could have housed every homeless person in America—for 150 years. Or, for the same amount, could have wiped out virtually every dollar owed in student debt, nationwide.
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Got to use the “Hey thanks, it’s a Bean” line and it felt amazing
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The contrarian opinions I’ve seen expressed in these quote tweets are insane to me. Do people really not understand how refreshing this sounds compared to 90% of pop music made over the past two decades.
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Still a work in progress but it’s amazing what a couple hours of work can do for a piece of furniture that would have otherwise been thrown away. No wood is too far gone!! It can be saved
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@probablyalissa my therapist: the sneeboer stainless steel seedling dibber isn’t real. It can’t hurt you . Anthropologie: check out our sneeboer stainless steel seedling dibber.
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Wisconsin and Michigan are such beautiful states compared to our southern neighbors. We must build a bridge over Lake Michigan so we never have to drive through the likes of Illinois and Indiana ever again.
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Everybody say “Happy Birthday Scandal” to the perfect girl (she’s ten)
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Shameful behavior by @CBS58. Firing someone for condemning Nazi gestures on their private instagram story. What the fuck are we even doing here??.
CBS 58 meteorologist Sam Kuffel is out after criticizing Elon Musk arm gesture with @DanielBice.
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Bernie Sanders when he sees Mayor Pete on the debate stage tonight.
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Didn’t realize so many people would appreciate furniture restoration. I take commissions! Here are two I did for friends. If you’re near Southeastern Wisconsin and have beat-up wood furniture, I’m your guy.
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My official ranking of the top 5 greatest cities in America:. 1. Milwaukee.2. New York.3. Detroit.4. Portland (Maine).5. Chicago.
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Do you think the White House fireplace guy intentionally used way too many logs so it looks like the Gates of Hell opened behind this historic handshake.
President Biden: "Congratulations. Looking forward to a smooth transition. Welcome back.". President-elect Trump: "Politics is tough and it's in many cases not a nice world, but it is a nice world today. I appreciate it very much."
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Mandarin duck in Milwaukee. The species I’ve most wanted to photograph for years and I finally got it. Breathtakingly beautiful bird.
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You go to your closet and select, I don’t know, a fish, because you want to tell the world that you dont take yourself too seriously. What you don’t know is it’s not just a fish, it’s a salmon. You’re blithely unaware of the fact that in 1987 Orcas did a collection of salmon hats
Airdropping this story to everyone at the bar tonight
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My mom used to read this to us and it always stuck with me. The day before she died I asked if she remembered it and she said of course and I recited the poem for her a final time as I held her just as the son did in the book. It was one of the last things I ever said to her.
Tried to read this to my kids at the book store and had to leave the whole place cause I was crying so hard.
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People often think I’m exaggerating when I describe Wisconsin drinking culture until I show them The Maps
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Just made it through Milwaukee airport security in 4.5 minutes car door to gate, blowing away my previous record of 7 minutes. This will be hard to best.
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Impossible to overstate how monumentally stupid the vast majority of American citizens are.
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Disliking mushrooms is a character flaw. Same with olives. Grow up.
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@MSpicuzzaMJS @DanielBice Was it the condemning naziism or criticizing a billionaire that crossed the line for @CBS58?.
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Some more photos of the mandarin duck. Can’t get over how beautiful his plumage is.
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Finally finished this coffee table. Here’s the full before and after.
Still a work in progress but it’s amazing what a couple hours of work can do for a piece of furniture that would have otherwise been thrown away. No wood is too far gone!! It can be saved
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My first ever Snowy Owl, right in my own neighborhood. The best christmas gift I could have possibly asked for. I wept at the sight of her.
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Just found out Italy is real. I thought David Chase invented it as part of Tony Soprano’s backstory. I’m disgusted.
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Harvard scientists have discovered a miracle cure for depression. “It’s just michael,” the lead researcher said at today’s press conference.
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I muted this so I won’t see your dumbass replies and quotes willfully misinterpreting what I said. I know it’s not revolutionary. That’s why I used the word “refreshing.” Go listen to the Billboard Hot 100 and tell me her six songs don’t obviously stand out.
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Our house had one of these and when my brother’s party got busted my parents hid all the kids behind it and let the cops into the house and they got so frustrated because there were 20 cars parked outside and a hundred empty bottles but zero drunk teenagers.
Great news, millennials. Home Depot now sells hidden bookshelf doors
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I’ve watched 12 seasons of Top Chef and don’t think I’ve ever seen a chef win even an elimination challenge with a seriously undercooked protein, much less the finale. Not sure what happened there but the judges’ critiques did not match the result.
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It’s been two years since I photographed the milwaukee mandarin duck. I miss him
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I have no tolerance for cruelty. It’s the most pathetic form of projection. Degrading others because you feel bad about yourself is something you should outgrow by middle school. Compassion is strength no matter how much the right attempts to paint it otherwise.
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I’m not a reply guy. I’m a like guy. My likes are filled with pictures of my beautiful mutuals but I would never trouble them with a reply.
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I’ve been too depressed to tweet lately but here’s a picture I took yesterday of a robin taking a bath
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The men of Milwaukee are among the most handsome in the world.
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Hope you enjoy your last day of BRAT summer because tomorrow is the start of Either/Or fall
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Embarrassing. Stop trying to convince a few thousand dumbfuck suburbanites every election and start putting in the work to build a party that actually stands for something. How many times does this lesson need to be learned.
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There is a fox behind my house that’s just sitting there and barking at nothing in particular
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The amount of grief conservative weirdos put this poor girl through is insane. Getting her fired and making her an international news story because she doesn’t like their favorite billionaire. Pathetic, puny fucking crybaby losers.
In her first public remarks since being fired by WDJT-TV (Channel 58), meteorologist @SamKuffelWx told the @journalsentinel she "never intended to harm anyone" with her social media posts criticizing Elon Musk's straight-arm gesture, which many have likened to a Nazi salute.
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Two years ago today was the first time I ever saw a scarlet tanager. My mom pointed it out while we sat in her backyard. It was the last bird we ever spotted together. Today this guy followed me around for an hour and brought with him a memory I hold very close to my heart.
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People don’t sit in my living room and listen to music with me like they used to. Another sign of societal decline.
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I have no interest in dates and am only on Hinge to explore the breadth of humanity
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Scandal found a whole cooked & sauced chicken wing outside in the yard yesterday and now whenever she goes out she stares longingly hoping for its return
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Visiting mom on her birthday. Before her passing, she established a charitable trust to continue the good work she did in life. We recently donated $60k to various causes in her name and will continue to do so every year around her birthday. She is missed but her memory lives on.
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embarrassed to be an american today and every day. Colossally stupid and cruel nation that deserves exactly what it’s getting in a second trump term.
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I lost my mom yesterday. Don’t have words to describe the enormity of what I’m feeling so I’ll just use the words we ended every phone call with: I love you. More than I could ever love any other thing. I can only hope my life ever feels whole again without you.
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Never thought I’d catch a photo like this from my own home on an iPhone but here we are
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went to the bagel store and the cashier said “you look unemployed” I said “I am…” and she laughed so hard at being right that she cried and made all the chefs come look at my outfit should I kms.
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North Atlantic icebergs have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever
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Today is my mom’s birthday. She was my best friend for 31 years. Instead of celebrating 62 years of her life today I’m going through old photos and remembering all our good times together. It still feels difficult to breathe when I sift through these memories. I miss her so much.
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Today is tough. I was blessed to have the most loving and supportive mom anyone could ask for. She was my best friend from the day I entered the world until the day she left it. Tuesday will mark three years and words cannot describe how much I miss her.
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When you’re 8 drinks deep at the bar and remember your bedsheets are still in the dryer
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Everyone wish Scandal a happy birthday. She’s 12 today. The sweetest, most intuitive and loyal dog I’ve ever known.
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Seven years since my worst depressive episode nearly took me out of this world. Today I am traveling around Europe with my best friend. Eternally grateful for everyone who has made life worth living despite. everything. Never k*ll your self or whatever.
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She always rests her paw on my arm as a gentle reminder that I am loved unconditionally
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I said my final goodbye to my best friend of nearly fifteen years today. My heart is completely broken. I love you, Wubby. Thanks for making my life and and the lives of many others so much brighter. I will miss you every day. 12/23/06 - 11/11/21
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I gave up on trying to convince people who to vote for or even to vote at all but just know you are either irredeemably stupid or pathologically cruel if you cast a ballot for Trump.
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Today is Buddy’s birthday and he’s very excited about his new toys
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I’m sick in the head all I can think about is buying a house on the coast with my wife. I don’t even have a gf.
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disgusting. can’t believe a population totally deprived of healthcare and income would resort to *checks notes* stealing essential medical supplies.
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Finally placed my mom’s ashes at the cemetery today. She made a list of things for me to do upon her passing—plan services, sell houses, establish trusts, make donations, etc—and this was the last task. I’m not sure what to do now that it’s all done. Just hope I did right by her.
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Perhaps Dems should try being more transparently evil. It’s very popular especially among young men.
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Three years ago I said goodbye to the best companion I ever had. This is our last pic together. I miss you Wubby
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My sweet boy Buddy was diagnosed with kidney disease this week. We thankfully caught it early but I think it’s so wrong that dogs are allowed to get sick
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Five years since I tried to end my life. The thing that made me drive myself to the hospital that night was remembering the love of my family and friends. They continue to keep me alive through the most difficult times. I am filled with gratitude and glad I’m still here.
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First restoration project in a while is finally complete. Someone left this end table on the side of the road. Only required a little sanding and staining to return to its former glory. DM if you’re interesting in buying it!
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This week marks one year since I bought a bike and started working out after years of laziness and alcohol abuse. Since then I have biked over 400 miles, lowered my recovery heart rate nearly 40 bpm, and become the strongest I’ve ever been. Very proud of myself!!.
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DM if you’re interested in an easy-going financially-stable 33-year old retiree husband who loves reading and birding and restoring furniture. Continue simply following and liking my posts if you just want to be friends. Come over and fight me in my yard if you want to be enemies.
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Wubby was born 18 years ago today. A Christmas gift to the world. I miss him so much.
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as a True Local i want everyone to know that I’m solemnly sworn to be available for milwaukee airport drop-off/pick-up through the end of the year. I’m not going anywhere
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If you’re a beautiful woman and have a sink full of dirty dishes please invite me over I would love to wash them for you. This isn’t a joke nor is it a kink.
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