Wordgag
@wordgag
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10,000+ funny quotes 👇👇👇👇👇 https://t.co/IUH4jbe6mk
Sydney
Joined October 2022
On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.
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Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.
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That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.
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Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.
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I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.
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I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.
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Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.
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Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”
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The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.
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