jack 🤍
@winter___fall
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allowing my identity to be emergent, not prescriptive
toronto
Joined December 2023
i am.not.obeying the mind when it orders the body around, even though its orders are so loud and desperate. i don't obey loud desperate voices telling me how to run my life. that doesn't work.
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literally just fucking lying down and feeling some waves of compassion for myself. resting and replenishing, after fasting & going through very unexplainable positive shifts. trusting that the energy for the things that need to get done, will come.
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i crave “practice mode”, safety, the softening of consequences. but if what i want to practice is “doing my best, in the real world”. the only thing i can do is my best, in the real world. all the other times i did that, were practice for this time.
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"a comfort-oriented soul". i think this is unlocking a mode of compassion in me. who am i to think i know the purpose of another soul's journey?. who am i to see a soul finding respite in this world, and judge them because *i* want to grow?. they let me, and i can let them.
When it comes to compatibility, people often view a potential counterpart as a fixed formation. What matters more are their metacognitive patterns, personal moral code, and appetite for growth. A soul that craves continuous growth will eventually see a comfort-oriented soul as a.
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it is crazy to inwardly be going through unexplainable life-changing shifts while outwardly i am just on a chill 2-day excursion with my family, who wouldn't understand and don't need to. this is amazing.
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the timestamp is basically the most important feature about a tweet. i couldn't post anything if it was not abundantly clear that i posted it on a day, at a time. forgiveness is like built-in.i'm not the same person i was when i said that 5 minutes ago. i have other stuff to say.
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if you have a role model you look up to, you are blessed. they are a blessing in your life!. it is no trivial thing to see someone living on earth in a way you admire, even partly.
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i want other people to be well-defined in their uniqueness and to love themselves.
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some of my shadows, my insecurities, my mental checks to keep myself small.are just falling away on their own without me noticing,.until i notice the spot where they used to be.i am focusing on the light, not the shadow.darkness is only the absence of light.
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you can be totally disconnected from the body, even when doing vigorous exercise. and i think that's a big cause of injury. listening to the mind, it's easy to push yourself too little (don't wanna exercise), or too hard (injure yourself). i prefer listening to the body!.
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this is curing my desire to stay unactualized, 'full of potential'. if you're full of potential, people may only see you as what *they* want you to become. the thought of being seen and loved in my specificity makes me happy and motivated to work towards making it real.
if someone only likes you when you're vague, they’re in love with their own projection, not you
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i wonder why every personality test holds as an axiom that people's personalities cannot change.
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Ellie Goulding - Human is just so unbelievable. an unbelievable song. transcendent beyond anything.how can a person ever think to sing those words.hearing them sung, such *angelic* yearning, for everything, for everything, for right here, for this, now,.
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what is the difference between “being right” and “telling the truth”?.
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ok, i walked around and got some water and my ass does need to sleep. i will be doing that.
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ok, about 3 hours later, my limbs have stopped buzzing and feeling faint, i am back to just feeling good, in a state of. regular. mental alertness. despite. sleeping for. zero hours. this is normal. .
it is difficult to handle the level of love i am feeling in my body, holy fuck. really all i can do is breathe through it, feel through it, trusting and intending for my nervous system to update and build the circuitry required to sustain these states.
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(i have been practicing this book for 10 months, off and on. shifts like these tend to correlate with when i go from ‘off’ to ‘on’).
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