it’s really heartbreaking to see that so many people beat themselves up, or feel ashamed for not having experienced certain things yet. especially feeling ashamed for not having experienced it as a *child*. there’s nothing wrong with waiting, or even just not having done it yet

some people start doing these things earlier as children because either 1- they were ready or 2- also felt the pressure to get it out of the way. experiencing these things for the first time, beyond your teen years, is 100% normal. you’re ready when you’re ready, there’s no rush

- please remember to be kind when responding to this thread. a lot of people have also had their “firsts” taken from them, & have decided to, or need to, wait to experience them in their own time — which may be well into their adult life. being kind goes a long way.

@neptunewet Another factor also is body insecurity a lot of us had chances but the thought of being completely naked in front of someone else is too frightening cause we are constantly taught what we should look like so especially with sexual intimacy it’s holding a lot of people back

@heylaurahey_ yes! very very true. I sometimes still deal with moments of insecurity in those situations & hesitate to go further. so many different things can contribute to people not being ready, this being one of them !!

@neptunewet @some_gorl_ First friend

@neptunewet Isnt it sad how people are embarrassed of this? Its so normalized for minors to have sex at a young age- but i rarely see cases where its love and not manipulation or being peer pressured.

@neptunewet 22 over here (turning 23 in November) & I am so not in a rush. My reasons for holding off aren’t religiously motivated etc (though many assume I’m “saving myself for marriage”😂)... it’s simply because I’m waiting for the right person to come along❤️

@neptunewet I was in my early 20s when I had my first kiss, and I only had sex when I was in my late 20s. And I don't feel like I've missed out.

@neptunewet thanks cause i fr need to hear this

@neptunewet I hate how normalized it is to have sex at 16-19. Legal or not those are mentally kids. People in their 20s doing these things should definitely be the norm, not kids who haven’t lived 2 full decades.

@neptunewet I feel this! it def leaves u feeling so socially stunted I swear. I had all my firsts in my twenties ! still haven’t gotten to relationships yet. But I swear there is so much about flirting, hook up & dating culture that I just dont know or was assumed to kno cause I’m older

@neptunewet This! 👏🏻 It sucks that this is how a lot of people measure the worth of someone’s life and that the sexualisation of teenagers in the media has made it even worse.

@neptunewet no clue why our culture is so obsessed with us experiencing “adult things” while we’re still children. we have a whole lifetime to do new things and we’re expected to cram so much of them into our teen years for reasons that are beyond me.

@neptunewet Heavy on the "it’s actually very normal to experience those things for the first time in your 20s" cuz anything under 20 you're a kid.

@neptunewet … THIS, honestly. had my first ‘kiss’ @ 6, but didn’t have a boyfriend + first time until my mid-20s. I say FUCK IT - do what you’re comfortable in doing. no one i know that had experienced their firsts earlier are in any better shape than i am for experiencing mines later.

@neptunewet Whatever your age, if partying and/or drinking isn’t your thing, you feel like there aren’t many other easy ways to connect romantically - especially if you’ve already tried joining classes, groups or clubs with your interests and not found anyone.

@neptunewet I've always thought that (most) teenagers are too dumb to be having sex at that age. Like my school had a couple who had underage sex, had an argument and caused a big scandal with nudes/sextape released in malicious intent and their families went to court over it.