Parents have to choose their battles. 8 fights worth picking with your kids:

There’s no better way to spend Father’s Day than connecting to your heart as a father. None of us meet the standard. We all have wounds to heal and and a long road ahead of us. But we can be intentional in how we walk that road. And that's a great gift to give your family.

There’s a long list of things that prevent us from being the father we want to be. It typically originates in our relationship with our dad. That needs to be examined. But life also begs us to lose sight of our priorities. This is a chance to recognize and correct that.

Question 2: What issues in my life need to be addressed in order to provide that to my kids? Again, start writing and see what comes up. Some of it will be very practical (eg, I work too much). Other things that stir up will be deeper. Don’t judge them. Write them down.

We talk about the impact of our dad for the rest of our life. It will inevitably be a mixed bag because no father is a perfect father. But you have a direct influence over much of it. If you can identify your desired outcomes, You can be intentional in bringing them about.

Question 1: What words do I hope describe my children’s experience of being raised by me? Write whatever comes to mind. Turn off your internal critic (he’ll probably be screaming a slew of insults). Let your heart dream.

Being a great dad doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens because we lack vision. We haven’t taken the time to decide what kind of father we want to be. So we have nothing to guide our actions. Fix that today. Grab a journal, slice off 30 minutes, and answer 2 questions.

No man chooses to fail as a father. It happens by default. If you don’t intentionally decide what kind of father you want to be, Your life story picks for you. Here’s a simple, 30 minute reflection every father needs to do today:

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Fatherhood is sacred. An engaged father is crystal clear that his greatest opportunity to shape the world, Is to shape the little life sitting next to him. And he’s determined to do it well. Blessings to all of the fathers out there. Happy Father’s Day!

Engaged fathers create a sense of abundance. These dads have an internal sense of “enough.” They have clear priorities they teach their kids. They value relationships over accomplishments. Possessions are put in their proper place. And the kids grow up lacking for nothing.

The well-fathered aren’t materialistic. When kids grow up with an absent father, They have a nagging sense of lack. There’s never enough. And that feeling haunts their lives. It leaves a hole they try to fill with material stuff. They’ll do anything to feel less vulnerable.

Engaged fathers cultivate robust emotional lives. They seek help and healing where it’s needed. They have access to the full spectrum of their emotional life. They cry and laugh, grieve and celebrate. They are emotionally available. And raise kids who are available too.

The well-fathered can self-regulate emotions. In too many cases, Kids grow up with a dad who's either volatile or checked out. They only see their father raging out of control, Or numbly staring at the TV with a drink in his hand. He never models a healthy emotional life.

Engaged fathers teach their kids how to decide. They have a framework, a methodology. They teach them to collect inputs and evaluate options. They make major decisions with them (not for them) then support their choices. They raise confident kids who can make a tough call.

The well-fathered can make difficult decisions. If you want to know if the people in your life were well-fathered, Watch them make major decisions. For the fatherless, the process is chaotic and fearful. Once a decision is made, They swim in second guesses and self-doubt.

Engaged fathers raise relational powerhouses. They hug. They wrestle around on the floor. They snuggle on the couch. And each touch reminds their kids that they are loved. As adults, those kids report less anxiety and depression. Their hearts are as open as dad’s arms were.

The well-fathered are comfortable with physical affection. Appropriate physical touch isn’t just physical. It’s mystical. It creates connection, a sense of belonging and psychological safety. Those who don’t receive it as kids grow up feeling isolated and alone.

Engaged fathers praise effort over outcomes. They teach their kids to see hard work as an end rather than a means. Most importantly, these fathers are never “me first.” They serve their families. And invite their kids to serve alongside them. Hard work bonds them together.

The well-fathered know how to work. We’re born lazy. We want things to come easy, to be handed to us. We dream of lotteries and inheritances and unearned rewards. When we do put in work, we expect immediate success and praise. But life rarely works that way.

Engaged fathers are generous with their approval. From birth, a child’s eyes turn to dad for validation. When he withholds it, it makes an identity declaration: Something is wrong with you. You don’t measure up. And his kids will spend their lives trying to prove him wrong.