Tacos are love letters in a corn envelope that you mail to your stomach.

Introducing Grok Imagine.

Jim: Congratulations on passing the bar! We have an opening at the firm, and I'd love to have you join us. Bill: Thanks for the offer, Dad, but I'd rather chart my own path. Jim: Here, take a look at our financials. Bill: . Bill: I'M BILL ADLER, THE TEXAS HAMMER!.

Kids today don't know how good they have it. When I was young, I had to walk nine feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Some days I wish I were a Vulcan so I could mind merge with myself and remember why the heck I went to the garage in the first place.

I'm at the age where my mind firmly believes I'm 31,.My humor suggests I'm 12,.And my body died sometime during the civil war.

Well, that settles it. I’m definitely not voting for Biden.

Well, that settles it. I’m never voting for Hunter Biden ever again.

Some days life feels like a tornado, and I'm just a cow being spun around for cinematic effect.

Got up at 5 this morning, did a 10k walk, came back and prepared a vegetable smoothie. I don't remember the rest of the dream. .

Whoever put the ‘s’ in ‘fast food’ is a marketing genius.

He's making a database.He's SORTing it twice.SELECT * from contacts WHERE.behavior = 'nice'.SQL Clause is coming to town.

If you don’t prosecute sedition, it becomes strategy.

Who else has '100 charges' on their Trump Bingo card?.

If you're ever lost in the wilds of south Texas, find either an armadillo or a possum and follow it. Soon enough, you'll be in the middle of a road.

The USA is having so many tragedies you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

I'm creating a website called OlderFans. It's just me telling you which part of my body hurts that day and what minuscule task I was doing that caused it.

Are mashed potatoes just Irish guacamole?.

Banning drag queens won’t work. The only way to stop a bad guy in a dress is a good guy in a dress.

Mowing the backyard this morning, enjoying the cool breeze, when my hat caught a gust, floating across the yard and disappearing over the fence. Kinda reminded me of the flying nun. And if you don't understand that reference, you're cordially invited to get off my lawn.