Old school. Pronouns will not get in the way of rational thinking. Able to think for myself, including what offends me. Banter welcome, and spiders, NOT sharks.
Look what just came through my cat flap. Previous occupants apparently abandoned him when they moved.
That said, he’s got a collar.
Apologies for the photo, but he’s just wolfed down a tin of tuna.
He’s very vocal. Bengals are known for that. X💕💕😂😂
This may cost me my account. But, sat in a cool bath. Listening to “wish you were here” and drinking Pinot Grigio. Thinking that the Krays would have maintained a balance. Kids would have been safe. I’m right aren’t I?
This may be contentious. However, as London is our capital. The nation’s capital.
Do you think we should all vote on who gets to run it?
After all, it’s the 1st representation of anyone visiting the U.K. just a question mind.
So my Mum puts some money in my account for my birthday. I buy my son some boxing gloves and pads. I teach him to box (I did kick boxing years ago). Right or wrong?
Finally got some good news yesterday. Got offered a job. It could not have come at a better time. Thank you for all the good wishes and messages. You’re all just so lovely. Be giggling again soon. 😘😂
And another thing! To all those remainers. We never voted to join the EU either! We voted to join a common market. We then voted to leave a morphed state of which we had to comply with. Of which is now trying to bully us.
I’m sorry for worrying people last night. Thank you for your messages. I don’t normally reach out. I felt desperate. You guys answered. I’m feeling better today, much better. I’ll keep it together. I promise. Xx
Just nipped to Sainsbury’s. Pulled up, perfectly within the lines.
Guy next to me told me park elsewhere, he couldn’t get out of his car.
I ignored him. He then shouted at me threatening to f*ck my car up.
His wife was embarrassed. I told her she’s married to a wanker. 🤷♀️
'This week they could equal or break the highest temperature earth has ever recorded.'
Are the rising temperatures changing your mind about the climate emergency? Do you have more sympathy with the Just Stop Oil protesters?
My Son has just called to ask if he can debit my account for a gift for his best mate’s birthday. He said he’ll give it back. I ain’t seeing it again am I? 🙄
We are now officially in a heatwave and a new study suggests the heatwave we're currently in is at least five times more likely to happen because of climate change.
@Lauratobin1
Labour's attitude towards working class concerns, summed up:
𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫: ULEZ will break us. My wife is in tears. We can’t afford this.
𝐋𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐫'𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐲: Just get a new car - or do you WANT your kids to get asthma?! 😠😠
My Son’s mate just rang him.
Mate: what has a tiny penis and hangs down?
Son : A Bat.
Mate: Correct. What has a huge penis and hangs up?
...phone goes dead! 😂😂.
I’m still crying with laughter.
Young elephants don't learn to control their trunks until they're about a year old, so they can be seen swinging their trunk like a turbine fan.
Like this.
[📹 Sheldrick Wildlife Trust]
You know what. I look like an old scrubber atm. But guess what? I’m more woman than some delusional idiots will ever be. I Gave birth, Breastfed
Had: Mastitis, PND, miscarried
Endometriosis But none of which were the result of pretending.
Ladies show me real womanhood.
I’m currently at 10.7k followers. It’s too many, Most are just for follow backs.
Anyway, in an attempt to reduce, here’s a joke:
What’s the difference between Whuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. 🤷♀️
Is it just me or do others think 🙄🙄🙄 when someone feels the need to correct spelling or grammar? Ffs, it takes about a nanosecond for the brain to figure out what someone is saying. Get a life!
We never voted to invade and colonise countries. We were enslaved ourselves by the elites. Work Houses as a prime example of the elites taking advantage of the less fortunate. If you were lucky, you were placed in servitude. There is no white privilege. Only elite.
I’ve had couple of people dm me asking if I’m ok. I am blessed. I thought my role was to make people laugh not worry them. Truth is, my Dad goes in for open heart surgery on the 30th. I’m petrified. He’s 80. He held me so tight the day Elvis died. Despite his own heartbreak
I’m so proud of my daughter. She’s 18 and works so hard. Does double shifts and has been promoted to team leader already. The pub trade isn’t easy. However, it’s great in terms of work ethic. She also cleans a house every week. Youth aren’t always entitled.
If I were ever lucky enough to go to Monaco. I would have to stand in front of the harbour and wonder, how many of those boats out there, were won on Bullseye?
Update on said cat.
My Son found details in a capsule around his collar.
His name is Batty. I’ve texted the owner. He’s yet to respond.
He’s currently purring between my legs and paddy poring me.
He’s happy for now.
But I can’t move.
Can someone bring me a drink? Xx
20 yrs ago, I gave birth to this absolute beauty.
Took 12 hrs. Fair bit of gas n air. But by Christ, ( no pun intended) she’s absolutely worth it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Love you darling. Happy Birthday baby.
Well I’ve just found out that my 17 yr old has had the jab. She promised me she’d look at research before going ahead. She didn’t. She’s waiting for her 2nd. I’ve failed as a mother.
I have a lot of male friends on here. They are great friends and have never tried it on. For those that have, especially those with partners who you say are living separate lives. Deal with that first. I’ve been there before. The other woman always gets the blame. Grow some
Islam is not a race. It’s a medieval ideology based on fear, hatred and intolerance.
It has no place in a civilised society. In the same way paedophilia, misogyny and bestiality doesn’t.
Now run along and brush up on your etymology, grammar and punctuation.
For those grammar/spelling nazis out there. For your single brain cell that feels the need to openly correct, I have billions able to understand a tweet regardless. Thank fk you weren’t on the Enigma team. We’d all be speaking German.
Morning darlings.
Have you ever accidentally liked one of your own posts, then quickly unliked it so not to look like a self important tw
@t
? Yeah, that was me about 10 seconds ago. 🙄😂😘
With a huge and heavy heart, I said goodbye to my curly wurlies. They’ve gone to a sanctuary in Wales. I’m also selling the land. I tried. To those that supported me. Thank you. Once the sale goes through, I’ll pay you back. Xx
Morning all. Are we all present and correct? Today is going to be the most positive day. In my head, I’m about 10. Me Dad is driving his bus with me up front. His best mate Ken Burton is the conductor and we’re on our way to Hayfield. Toasted tea cakes all round. Xx
Morning my darlings. Woke up to 2 spiders on my ceiling, at least 2” apart. They’re now on top of each other.
They’re shagging aren’t they?
I’m watching spider porn! 🙄
Gentlemen. Im glad I’m single. Because this menopause sh1t must be like living with a she devil. We don’t mean it btw. Just put the bloody fan on and pour me a glass. X
God I love talking with Geordies . They have the best accent on the planet. The bloke kept calling me ‘pet’. It’s made my day. I almost asked him to say Subuteo for me. But that was probably a step too far. 😂💕🤷♀️
I did some research on morning glory and yes, women have it too. It’s prehistoric. It’s the passing of the genes just in case he doesn’t come back from the days hunting. So morning sex is written into law basically.
I was discreetly handed a telephone number by a gentleman at the pub the other night. The last time that happened, it was a landline number. Yeah. I’m that old. 😳😳