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Built client the monitoring dashboard they insisted they needed. Checked back 3 months later. Nobody logged in once. They paid £6k for monitoring nobody monitors - could've just checked the database when needed.

Client wanted a/b testing infrastructure for prompts. They get 12 conversations per week. That's months to get meaningful data from any test just change the prompt and see what happens. You'll know in a week.

My dog died so fuck being a reply guy

Support bot couldn't process refunds. Ai worked fine. Nobody wrote the actual refund code. Agency delivered "ai-powered refund system" without building the refund part. Wrote the refund logic in 8-9 h. note: ai can only do what you actually build it to do.

Documentation last updated march 2019. Products changed completely since then. Bot telling customers about features that don't exist anymore. Ai was working perfectly. Trained on what they gave it. Update docs first, then retrain. Revolutionary concept apparently.

If you bot keeps saying "i don't have that information" but you know that it has it - check for similarity thresholds. - similarity threshold was set to 0.95. - nothing matched - changed to 0.7. - bot started working Someone read that high thresholds prevent hallucinations

Client asked if chatbot needs GPU servers. It's calling openai's api. Their server just makes http requests. Literally any web server works - they were about to spend £600/month on gpus they don't need.

Agency said project needs senior ml engineer at £800/day. project: connect form to openai api, parse response, update database... That's web development, not ml engineering.

Integration failed for 2 months. Previous developer couldn't figure it out. Checked error logs. - "401 unauthorized" on every request - api key expired Fixed in 2 minutes. The same issue for two months because nobody read the error message. Wild.

You're not really aware on what passes for ai these days. Vendor demo was flawless - production version failed constantly. Eventually admitted demo responses were hardcoded - the actual ai didn't exist yet Client paid £60k upfront. System still doesn't work 6 months later.

Agency quoted 200 hours for "complex api integration" - api had 4 endpoints with good documentation - built it in 9 hours - the other 191 hours were probably meetings about meetings

Saw a @cybertruck today!

Chatbot response time was 8 seconds. Developer was calling openai api 6 times per message. "For validation" apparently. Changed it to one call. Response time under 2 seconds - api costs down 85%. sometimes the fix is just doing less

Vendor: "your chatbot needs real-time monitoring dashboard with alerts" - chatbot gets 3 conversations per day Told them to just check it once a week. Takes 5 minutes they wanted £8k setup plus £400/month to monitor 3 daily chats.

The dirty secret about 'AI engineers' making $500k: They're just prompt engineers with CS degrees. I've reviewed their code. It's 90% copy-paste from ChatGPT with a wrapper. The bubble's about to pop and these overpaid frauds will be the first to go

The worst mistake I made early on: Dropping my price just to close a client. The ones who paid full? - They stayed loyal because they saw the value. The clients I undercharged to ‘win’? - They were the first to leave when they found a cheaper option. Lesson: if you undervalue

Vendor pitch deck had neural networks and deep learning on every slide. Looked at actual product. It's if-else statements with api calls. Not a single neural network anywhere in sight. But it does sound nice.

£55k for an ai that says "that's a great question!" without answering anything. Agency delivered chatbot after 4 months. Forgot to connect it to any actual company information - adding their actual documentation: 12 hours of work - agency wants another £20k for "knowledge

The reason most people lose money trading is because they are literally just chasing memes, and chickening out as soon as things go red. What did you expect to happen?

Funniest fking chatbot issue ever. Client's chatbot apologised for everything - "I apologise but i cannot tell you our business hours". Someone wrote the system prompt while having a panic attack about lawsuits. Changed 50 words in the prompt - bot started actually helping