worms
@ventriclejuice
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oi cheebai in the streets, ai stead mai in the sheets (i moonlight as @lycheebye )
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Joined April 2020
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Pinned Tweet
bedroom eyes but not bedroom like sex, bedroom like i wld like to take a nap
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my mom threw me a graduation party today and he’s done it again
i find it extremely funny that whenever we are celebrating an important occasion, my dad gets really excited about taking a family photo and then, every single time, manages to blur everyone out of the photo (except himself)
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i find it extremely funny that whenever we are celebrating an important occasion, my dad gets really excited about taking a family photo and then, every single time, manages to blur everyone out of the photo (except himself)
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when y’all said the repeal of 377a would lead to the destruction of traditional family values i didn’t realise you meant you were gonna do it yourself my bad
Speaker Tan Chuan-Jin, MP Cheng Li Hui resign over matters relating to 'propriety and personal conduct'
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if youre an influencer but you stay silent on topics that matter, what the fuck are you actually doing? youre not an influencer, youre a puppet for consumerism
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i am really deeply saddened by the fact that some of my countrymen read about the updates on Nagen’s case and responded with ‘he should have just obeyed the law.’ in the spirit of your own remarks, here’s a list of crimes that you have probably committed:
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DID YOU KNOW: Singaporeans have invented a ton of things that are being used everyday, all around the world, but many of us don’t even realise it!
Here’s a thread on some uniquely Singaporean inventions:
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"are u rly surprised. this is the area full of rich privileged people who dont need change right" - my mama about bukit timah, very annoyed
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56% of bukit panjang citizens are unaware we are living during a global pandemic why would u not vote for the infectious diseases expert
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1. The audacity to praise the death penalty in the name of ‘protecting Singaporeans’ while also cheering that a judge acquitted a rapist and told the victim it was her fault
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yes baby keep vomiting blood 🙏🏼 now u know how the rest of us feel when u open ur mouth 💯🤙😍🔥
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my therapist reminded me that if you bottle up your needs, your kindness will eventually turn into cruelty.
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when i was 14 i went on a date with some boy and my mom was so mad so i yelled ‘would u rather me be gay or have a boyfriend’ and in her rage she said ‘i’d rather u were gay!’ and because of how much i value filial piety, here i am
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if the pap really wants all of us to progress together how come their entry-level ministers make $100,000 a month while the average singaporean's monthly salary is $5,596? asking for a friend
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is… is josephine teo gonna watch my sex tapes…
S’pore govt won’t ban OnlyFans for now, but will monitor platforms for risk of abuse: Josephine Teo
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its sad that there was a whole mrt full of other chinese people and nobody thought it was “their business” to put her in her place. chinese people it is absolutely okay to scold another chinese person for being racist!!!
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weird caption considering jesus was literally given the death penalty
if you want to know how the average singaporean reacts to human rights abuses and the death penalty, it's through complete narcissism and moral bankruptcy, believing "god chose you" not to suffer. it's truly worms in the brain.
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last night at clarke quay some girl yelled “youre so pretty” at me and i was about to feel happy but then her friend said to me “dont listen to her shes drunk” and i… Thank You :)
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to everyone who worried that singapore does not have a culture i am pleased to announce that we do, and it’s crimewatch.
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when i was small i used to wonder why singapore doesnt have travelling circuses and then i realised we have pap meet and greets
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i think every taxi uncle should run for minister. u open the door only uncle alr got manifesto for u
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this food for thought was extremely inedible and lacking in nutrition
MP Ang Wei Neng clarifies idea of putting 'time stamp' on university degrees, says it was 'food for thought'
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(watching an old couple holding hands)
me: so cute i hope when im old i still hold my partners hand
dad: they only hold because they dont want to fall down
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hello girls please stop with the boyfriend reveals. can u all do a boyfriend conceal. i do not wish to see the boy :) thank u :)
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isnt it weird how so many people talk about having children as something that makes them happy and how few people actually talk about how happy their children are
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my 81-year-old very chinese granduncle found out i have a girlfriend and he sent me a letter excitedly asking me to please bring her to visit him when it is safe and is she ok in this current pandemic
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slowly building a collection of photos of Amy Khor Standing Next To Things
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conflicting feelings about 377a because as much as i wanna celebrate this i just know it’s a way for the government to distract us from the fact that our material rights as queer ppl in sg are about to get a lot worse
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vote for the opposition - no political party is perfect, but a wider diversity of voices in parliament would mean a greater chance of seeing the policies we really want discussed and pushed through !in parliament!
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after the way people responded to s*lvias leaked sex tape i dont wanna see anyone saying the excel sheet was overboard
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my girlfriend said i could tell u guys that last night i kept laughing during sex because shes v cute and she said "i dont want to be cute" and i said ok what do u want to be and she very earnestly said "spiderman"
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babe ur perfect u dont need to keep trying to be someone else )-:
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theres no gravy so its healthy
bought chicken mccrispy for dinner 😋😋😋 should I remove the chicken skin so I can skip the nasties
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pap: we will gerrymander sengkang grc so we can win harder
pap: *doesn't win*
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“we are afraid that if we repeal 377a the homosexuals will start treating us the way we have been treating them all along”
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bold of singaporeans to complain that they “miss travelling” when they won’t even take the train to tuas because it’s “too far”
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so like whats stopping gym rats from being as vocal about racism as they are about chloe ting
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happy national day here is a thread of singaporean restaurants as horoscopes. am i just trying to make up for the time i tweeted about pushing raffles into the river? who knows. anyway.
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desperate people don’t break the law because they want to break the law. they break the law because society has failed to support them. people don’t bring drugs into singapore because they want to kill your kids. they do it because they need money.
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the way our government immediately assumes any conversation about race/ethnicity/nationhood will automatically lead to racial tensions explains a lot about the state of ‘racial harmony’ here lol.
free Palestine 🇵🇸
Singaporeans shouldn’t let tensions elsewhere affect religious harmony: PM Lee
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reminder to fight like hell for raeesah khan so the bullshit police reports dont trigger a by election now
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i’ll tell you why: because you have the privilege to decide which ones you can safely break, and which ones you can ignore without it really impacting your life. you can afford to pay off a speeding fine. you can take the chance that no one’s looking when you jaywalk.
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telegram is down… like me… im also down… for anything… what do u wanna do…
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for the record, me and bb love eating chinese food. basically anything sweet and spicy. but look at how much oil i separated from the char kway teow. no, it is not “just noodles.” can you imagine putting ALL THAT OIL into your body day in & day out.
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it's so insidious that in the 50s when sg was still a british colony, the straits times would only ever mention race if the perpetrator was malay (sometimes indian) - very deliberate means of demonising the indigenous peoples & normalising that association
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my mom said rats are gross and my dad said “didn’t you watch ratatouille how can you say that”
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welcome to singapore, where a transphobic bigot can have her opinions platformed on state media but burmese people cant express solidarity with their motherland due to threats of police intervention
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straight people in singapore are so privileged they think someone saying “BTOs are a straight people thing” is what prejudice sounds like 🤷♂️
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responsibility
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sex w me is fun because u open my legs n my hips crack like a glow stick. party time
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you can drag the bitch without spreading revenge porn u dirty fuckers
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the point is that whether you end up as a drug mule or not is not a question of morality. it’s a question of privilege. it’s situational. if you were in a different position with different options and different struggles, the choice you’d make might not be very legal either.
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she fell in love with WP but PAP refused to stop gerrymandering 🤟🏼😔
She fell in love with a frontliner but he refused to drop his mask
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then why the psi still 300
MOE clears the air over Israel-Hamas lesson material after some parents express unhappiness
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you think others should ‘just follow the law’ because you, personally, will never be in a position where you’re forced to break THAT law. the laws you are subject to don’t threaten your life. the laws that do threaten lives are purely theoretical to you.
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i feel like every minister who says transporting people in lorries is necessary in order to save costs should sell their cars, ride to work in a lorry instead and donate the difference in $$ to the construction industry :)
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jo teo said she wld keep it short then spent 20s wasting my time
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1. not wearing a seatbelt in the car/taxi/grab
2. walking around naked in ur home
3. feeding pigeons
4. demanding to know someone’s last-drawn salary
5. forgetting to flush a public toilet
6. connecting to someone else’s wifi
7. jaywalking
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so who’s gonna pofma him
Claims of Chinese privilege in Singapore “entirely baseless”, all races treated equally with no special privileges: PM Lee
#NDR2021
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if we’re arguing that the only reason people are subject to the death penalty is because they’re disobeying the law, then why don’t you give a fuck about ALL of the laws and all of the statutes?
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singapore is so bureaucratic cant believe we need a license for this when most of us are literally born with them
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please explain how the minister of Foreign Affairs has released a statement saying he does not want to be involved in Foreign Affairs
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these were the lunar new year and deepavali respectively. also he’s an aries.
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so glad sg doesnt have a minimum wage i am so blessed to be able to be exploited LEGALLY 😍😍😍
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someone handed me this on the bus and then v quickly disembarked?? this was v cute n sweet n i hope they have an excellent day
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tell me you’ve never had sex with a real person without telling me you’ve never had sex with a real person
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i feel so validated my waxing lady asked me “u got boyfriend??” then she did a double take and went “no. u got girlfriend?”
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"its a result that warrants further analysis" EUGENE, YOUUU ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THE FURTHER ANALYSIS
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i am alone in a hotel and i thought i would have a nice early sleep but someones having really loud sex and they keep yelling “WHEE!” and i cannot stop wondering what the sexual situation is there
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at what point will singaporean journalists stop highlighting people’s races in smeary articles
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always nervous when i tweet something about xx and it blows up bc what if she sees my tweets. what if she replies calling me pathetic in front of all her followers. what if i find out i have a humiliation kink. what if i end up wanting her to fuck me like the pathetic slut that i
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man pushes own son into a bush after being accused of pushing someone elses son into a bush in order to prove his unbiasedness
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eugene tan u look tired u can go home u know we will not notice
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at what point do u think cis people will realise that the eyelash extension appointments, brow embroidery and IPL sessions, push-up bras, make-up and hair products and clothes they spend money on are all, in fact, gender affirming tools?
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we should do an experiment with all the ‘be grateful’ sporeans where every time they go to a nice restaurant the waitstaff treats them - and only them - like shit n their food is poorly prepared and if they complain the management just shrugs and says ‘u got fed what’
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“i’m gonna go around making as many unhealthy heterosexual relationships as i can. that’ll show them.” - my sibling :)
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last night at twoqueens this girl came up to me and was like ‘hey r u single’ and i was like ‘yeah’ and she was like ‘i gotta show u something’ and she sexily pulled out her phone… coyly opened safari…….. and proceeded to unironically show me her fucking linkedin profile
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the meaning behind my tattoos is i wanted to give pretty girls an excuse to touch my arm
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whenever im too horny i turn on the “men” option on tinder because yall know exactly what to say to turn me off. thank u for ur service
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i am so stupid when i am in love. extra concerning because normally i am already stupid. pls pray for me
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i have a new proudest moment and it is i got a breast reduction and when i woke up from the 6 hour long anaesthetic, still amped up on morphine, i asked the nurse to ask me how i was feeling and she did and i replied ‘i had a good nap i am very well-breasted :)’
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if we believe that human traffickers, child molesters, domestic abusers, serial rapists, animal abusers, and repeatedly violent people can be rehabilitated, why do we hold so firm to the notion that a person who trafficked drugs, even just once, is beyond correction?
#NotInMyName
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bringing this back for anyone who thinks the price of a meal is exclusively representative of its actual worth/labour involved, and not like... the host culture's hegemonic power...
french cuisine is so good at hyping itself up, when i went to paris a few years ago i had a super expensive dish of like 6 escargot and the moment i ate one i was like...WAIT, ISN'T THIS JUST LIKE THE RIVER SNAILS WE EAT BY THE BUCKETFUL IN CHINA
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1. rape
2. sexual assault
3. encouraging a minor to commit suicide
4. intentionally using a weapon to cause serious harm to someone else
5. rape of a child
6. possession of child pornography
7. kidnapping
8. torture
9. intentional animal cruelty, including fucking an animal
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and now here’s a list of crimes that make most people feel VERY unsafe, which are NOT subject to the death penalty: (tw mentions of rape/SA)
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im just saying, you cant critique people for wanting privileges you yourself already have. you cant critique people for being angry about things you are not personally affected by.
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ok i have decided my dad’s 15 minutes of fame are up im muting the tweet
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8. letting ur dog run towards someone else
9. singing obscene lyrics in public
10. letting cats into ur hdb flat
11. drawing on public restroom walls
12. shoving or pushing someone
13. making a telephone call without a good reason
14. writing a bad cheque
15. speeding
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its so sad because if singapore had just a little more freedom of speech, we’d have a bunch of really great sketch comedies about the multi ministry taskforce by now i think
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sending my thoughts and prayers to the ‘sg ministers deserve high salaries so that they dont get corrupted’ brigade in these trying times 🙏
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my kindergarteners are so funny. they kept touching my scorpion tattoo and going “ouch!! it stung me!!!!”
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