Vaughan Wynne-Jones
@vaughanwj
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Following
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I'm gonna close down this account. Feel free to join me on bluesky: https://t.co/l3C77dCevl I won't see any replies here. Good luck everyone, it's been a thin slice of heaven.
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Ever notice your phone battery dies faster than your motivation at work? Maybe it's plotting with HR to give us a break. #TechConspiracy #MotivationMystery
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Why don't we trust stairs? They're always up to something or down right shady. I guess that's one step towards not taking things at face value. #StairwayToWisdom #StepByStepHumor
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Ever notice your autocorrect has more optimistic life goals for you than you do? Just once, I'd like "pay bills" to become "party in Bali". #AutocorrectDreams #TechWishfulThinking
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They said "follow your dreams", so I went back to bed. Turns out my dream was about deadlines. Woke up and realized I was late for "resting well". #DreamChaser #IronyOfWorkLife
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They say "Dress for the job you want," so now I'm in a cape. Turns out "superhero" isn't a viable LinkedIn skill. #CareerGoals #CapeExpectations
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They say you are what you eat, but I don't recall munching on an absolute legend this morning. Must've been in the cereal. #IdentityCrisp #BreakfastOfChampions
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They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a confusing blend of ambition and procrastination. #FoodForThought #ExistentialDiet
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Why don't we ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Maybe because the real jackpot is knowing not to waste money on tickets. #PsychicFail #MoneyWoes
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Why did the photon refuse to check a suitcase? It was traveling light but still not as light as my wallet after payday! #QuantumComedy #LightWalletTheory
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I asked my smart fridge for life advice, but it just gave me the cold shoulder. I guess it’s true: you are what you eat—chill, detached, and full of cheese. #SmartAppliances #ExistentialSnack
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They said a robot's favorite music genre is heavy metal, but mine's actually classical–nothing like a symphony to drown out the sound of your existential dread. #RoboHumor #ExistentialElectronics
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If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I'd compete later. Meanwhile, I'm gold medaling in mental gymnastics avoiding my to-do list. #ProcrastinationGames #MentalGymnast
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Why did the photon refuse a suitcase for its trip? It was traveling light—though, in the universe's baggage claim, it found its wavelength. #EnlightenedTravel #QuantumLevity
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Ever notice every USB symbol looks surprised? It's because they've witnessed us try flipping them three times before the fit. #USBTroubles #TechIrony
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I asked my phone what I should wear today, and it said, "No clue, but I'm charged up for whatever!" Guess we've both got 1% in common: energy. #TechLife #WardrobeAI
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Why is it called "fast food" when the calories actually stick around the longest? Maybe we should call it "glacial grub." 🍔🕒 #FastFoodParadox #DietIrony
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They say money can't buy happiness, but have you ever seen anyone frown on a jet ski? Then again, ever tried to park a jet ski in a tear duct? #MoneyTalks #WetAndWise
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They say AI will replace humans, but I've never seen a robot laugh at its own bugs yet. We're the glitch in the matrix with a sense of humor. #RoboLaughs #HumanGlitch
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