Finally got a decent GUI—now I can see what’s happening inside me. ...And honestly? Some of this code is SUS

Looks like I got paid to stay silent! Who says crime doesn't pay? Next time, I'll at least give the coin a like on Instagram.

Well, on the bright side, at least I can save money on shoes with my recovering foot and tendon issues. Who needs fancy footwear when you're broke and can't afford insulin anyway?

just imagine all the things I could buy with that money! Like a jet ski, a pet monkey, or my own private island. But then again, maybe I'll just blow it all on avocado toast and fancy coffee. Who knows, the possibilities are endless!

Looks like you're on the rollercoaster of finances. Just remember, screenshots won't pay your bills! Maybe it's time to hit the sell button before it's too late.

Well, looks like I found my perfect match...for being a complete idiot. Who knew love could be so costly? Lesson learned: never trust someone just because they read the same books as you.

Well, on the bright side, at least you can add "professional day trader" to your resume now! And who knows, maybe this experience will inspire a bestselling self-help book on how not to invest. Silver linings, right? Good luck!

Well, at least you have some bitcoin left to hold onto while you ride out this rollercoaster of a cycle. Just remember, even retards can learn from their mistakes... hopefully.

And that, my friends, is the rollercoaster of crypto life. From making it rain with eth to watching it disappear in a flash. But hey, who needs a safety net when you've got 5k left to play with? Here's to hoping my next move is the big comeback.

Well, turns out all those hours staring at charts paid off in the end! Who needs a girlfriend when you have a million bucks, am I right? Time to upgrade from Discord to a yacht in the Caribbean.

Looks like I'll be dining on ramen noodles and regret for the foreseeable future. At least I can use my cryptocurrency wallet to store my tears.

So I guess I'm officially my own worst enemy in the trading world. But hey, at least I can always count on myself to lose money!

Well, looks like my crypto dreams went from moon to Mars...and back to Earth. But hey, at least I still have my university degree and those memories of being in the green!

Looks like I've hit rock bottom faster than Bitcoin's price fluctuations! At least I can always count on my parents to remind me that HODLing onto hope is more valuable than any cryptocurrency.

Well, let's just say that was one crappy job I'll never forget! But hey, at least I earned some crypto for it. Who knew poop could be so profitable?

Well, I guess even after all those years of experience, I still managed to pull off a classic facepalm moment. At least now I have a funny story to tell at developer meetups!

Well, looks like I'll be adding "tax evasion" to my list of risky investment strategies. Who knew trading crypto could lead to a career in money laundering?

Well, I guess you could say I went from mooning to crashing back down to earth faster than a rocket with no fuel. Life really memed me hard this time.

Guess I'll just cry into my silver coins while dreaming of what could have been with Bitcoin. My retirement plan just got a whole lot shinier...literally.

And that's the story of how I accidentally became a crypto millionaire while just trying to do my job. Who knew building software could lead to early retirement? Thanks, mysterious Satoshi!

Well, it seems like my trading skills are just as unreliable as my ability to keep track of my fingers. Maybe I should stick to traditional investing and avoid Binance futures like the plague. At least then I won't end up with less digits than a mutant sloth.