Travis McElroy (Self Parody)
@travismcelroy
Followers
246,313
Following
1,888
Media
2,582
Statuses
34,649
Hank, try a Google search!
Cincinnati, OH
Joined February 2009
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Pinned Tweet
It's been over a year since I ...Xed? But ICYMI, I have organized/I am hosting an Immersive TTRPG Weekend at
@RavenwoodCastle
in Hocking Hills, OH taking place May 24th-26th, 2024! Tickets go on sale THIS FRIDAY (12/8) at 3pm ET!
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We need to return to traditional manliness!
-Boys should wear pink!
-Leave beer brewing to the women and write more poetry!
-Male friends should sit in each other’s laps!
-Wear more stockings!
-Wigs! Wigs! Wigs!
-lacy embroidered handkerchiefs for all
-leave wristwatches to women
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HE DID WHAT?!?!! WHY ISN'T ANYBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?!?!
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If you're trying to compare people participating in BLM demonstrations and what happened yesterday you can *checks notes* ah, here it is... GET THE FUCK OUT
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Just a reminder that the US concept of "manliness" was invented in the early 1900s to sell razors, beer and movie tickets. It is not some ancient practice. It is a creation of ad execs.
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Dorothy “Baby Dot” McElroy!
Born at 9:57 am 1/7/20
Everyone is doing great! Smooth as silk c-section!
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How much money do I need to Kickstart to go back in time and have someone who is not a TERF write Harry Potter?
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Um, if racial slurs are "just words", then how come you have a problem with someone being called "racist"? Isn't that... also a word?
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I think my favorite part of every flight is during take off when the pilot screams “Bend to my will metal sky bird and take us to the big blueness!” and all the passengers chant “Sky bird! Sky bird!” To convince the plane to take off.
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I don’t think it’s weird at all for straight dudes to say other men are attractive. I find many works of art, buildings and animals beautiful, but it doesn’t mean I want to have sex with them. Well, maybe some buildings. I’ve seen some real BILFs out there...
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Hey!
@teresamcelroy
and I have a big announcement! We’re having another kid! Due date is currently mid January, but Bebe taught us that babies don’t care about schedules! We are beyond excited!
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How many videos of police violently attacking peaceful protestors in cities across the country have to make the rounds before folks can no longer deny that police brutality is not a “bad apple” problem?
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Yesterday after getting my hair cut and dyed, a woman working there said “You look beautiful! ...sorry, I mean handsome.” And I was like, “It’s cool, I am beautiful!” Anyway, it’s okay to know you’re beautiful!
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Bebe took a toy pan out of my hand, not forcefully but still a take. Then she said UNPROMPTED “Oh wait, receiving hands!” and handed it back to me. She then said “may I please have it?” and held her hands out.
In that moment, I would have given her anything she asked for.
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Happy Father’s Day! As your dad for the day, I just wanted to let you know that I love you for who you are. I wouldn’t change a thing about you because you are already so great! I support you and I believe in you! Take care of your self today, kiddo!
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“Listen, I’m not ignorant. I did a lot of research. Then, I decided to be a hateful transphobe. What I’m saying is, I have no excuse. This is a full blown choice and I am proud of how hateful I am! Huzzah!”
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It's weird how the people who do the most complaining about "cancel culture" seem to also be the people who have really shitty opinions that they are unwilling to reconsider or apologize for. What a weird coincidence.
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Hey
@McDonalds
, might I suggest that y’all stop asking if kids are “a boy or a girl” in regards to Happy Meal toys? My kid likes horses and cars and it has nothing to do with gender. Just ask which one they’d prefer, toy A or toy B. Have a great day!
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Hey everyone! Just a reminder that therapy is kick ass and everyone should do it. Going to therapy has given me both the language to articulate my mental states and tools to deal with them. Talk to someone, it rules.
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This is a much better birthday feeling than 4 years ago! Happy birthday to me! (And to a slightly lesser degree,
@JustinMcElroy
)
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Hey, I know that it’s not the biggest issue facing anyone right now, but if I can explain to my 3 year old why she can’t go to the museum, you can stay the fuck home and skip Thirsty Thursdays down at Senor Frog’s.
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Hey everyone, don’t do this. Pronouns aren’t a joke and this isn’t funny. Would you make fun of someone’s accent or name? Then why would you feel okay making a joke out of another aspect of their identity? Take it seriously, it costs you nothing.
KAMALA HARRIS: My pronouns are she, her and hers.
CHRIS CUOMO: Mine, too.
HARRIS: Alright.
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Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight?
Dad: *nudging me* Do you think everything is alright?
Me: I too am worried!
Dad: If things go wrong, at least we can cheer folks up!
Me: Yes, the arts help people smile again!
Dad: I’m proud that we use comedy to help!
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Are you sure? Maybe they just looked away for the wrong .4 milliseconds and missed it?
The same-sex kiss in 'The Rise Of Skywalker' has been edited out in Singapore
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A SWERF said that I only support SWs because I am ugly. Now I need an ambulance because my sides split from laughing at the of absurdity of such a claim. I mean, have they seen me?! I’m cute as hell.
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It's mine and
@teresamcelroy
's 7 year wedding anniversary. So, please enjoy the world's greatest wedding photo.
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It's always weird/disgusting to me when jerks try to act like they are being brave when they act like jerks. "I tell it like it is" "If you can't handle it..." blah blah blah as though being a jerk isn't the easiest thing in the world.
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I'll stay out of politics when comedy makes me impervious to bullets, not have to pay taxes, not need insurance and not worry about others.
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Hey! It’s
@griffinmcelroy
’s birthday! Wish him a happy one! He deserves it for being the sweetest/most caring/funniest/most incredible person I know!
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Another Bebe moment: After she had been put to bed last night, she yelled "Daddy, I need you!" Normally she calls for Teresa, so I felt pretty special. I ducked my head in and said "What do you need buddy?" and she said "I need you to get Mommy."
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I like my men like I like my coffee. Non-toxic.
(This just popped in my head and I thought it was REMARKABLY clever and had to immediately share. This has been another edition of "Behind the Tweets, with Travis McElroy." Join us again next time.)
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Bebe has now, on multiple occasions, informed me that on her next birthday she does not want to turn 4. She would like to turn 50.
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Is it possible to be a video game streamer if you are, AT BEST, mediocre at video games?
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My father, Clint McElroy, is one of the greatest people I have ever met. I work hard to be as good a father as he is. He is an inspiration. Unfortunately, we have never been photographed together. So here is a picture of me and
@levarburton
. Happy Father’s Day!
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Unprompted, Bebe told me "You are doing a great job as a dad" and "thank you for loving me so much!"
Needless to say, I am imbued with the power of a million suns and hope to share some of that positivity today.
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Hello, my name is Travis and I am cool/handsome/confident. Please cast me in your deodorant commercial.
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We should do away with ‘niece’ and ‘nephew’ and just say “This is my child, once removed.”
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During this time of uncertainty, I think you should be able to eat anything you want. Carbs, salty snacks, the rich, sweets, anything at all!
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Bebe asked for ice cream and I told her she needed to eat more dinner and she responded “Aye aye, Captain Daddy!” and I absolutely lost it.
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Oh, hello there. Didn’t see you come in.
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One last thing y'all: This is neither isolated, nor unintentional. She has displayed a pattern of shitty behavior.
How much money do I need to Kickstart to go back in time and have someone who is not a TERF write Harry Potter?
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Made the bold parental move to show Bebe a picture of an x-ray of a skeleton inside a body. (She was confused about bones being inside us) Her response "OH! That is beautiful!" I was so happy it didn't freak her out. But now I am worried she will grow up to be a serial killer...
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Hey, this is some real dumb shit. Reason 1: there’s no such thing as “manliness”. Through out history, men have worn heels, nail polish, make up & lots of things many would call “feminine”. The modern concept of masculinity is less than 100 years old & was created by advertisers
Daily Wire host criticizes Mr. Rogers for corrupting boys with his "metrosexual wimpiness," adding "if you really want to have a beautiful day in the neighborhood, call John Wayne and tell him to bring his guns"
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Just a reminder: If you don’t enjoy some form of media (book, movie, album, podcast, tv show, whatever) you can just stop consuming it. No amount of bad mouthing it on twitter will make you enjoy it more.
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Put simply: I do not stand for any form of “exclusionary radical feminism”. Get that shit out of here.
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As a co-host of a manners podcast, allow me to offer some insight: Fuck Civility. Etiquette is the art of being your best self based on your own situation, not telling someone else that they are wrong. Bullies just don't like it when their victims stand up for themselves.
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I think it’s worth saying that while I’m really glad y’all like my new boots, I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing them (let alone showing them publicly!) if it weren’t for all the people long before me who have pushed the boundaries of traditional gender norms.
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Well, we’ve recorded the first episode of
#TheZoneCast
Graduation! I think it went very well! It took a lot out of me and I feel very sick! Hooray!
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I just realized I haven’t officially said it yet: Happy Pride Month! I’m so glad you are here!
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If I dig up/fish out one more goddamned egg I am going to lose it, I swear to god.
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Dear everyone, but especially teens: It is perfectly normal to feel frustrated/confused/lost/anxious/other not-great emotions. Everyone at some point has felt them. More importantly, not only is it okay to talk to someone about what you are feeling, it is GREAT!
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Bebe’s favorite animal is the general idea of dinosaurs and I am incredibly proud. When asked what her favorite animal is, she closes her eyes and roars like a dinosaur. She is the best.
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Why doesn’t this come up in more horror movies?
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Hey, just a quick reminder that there is nothing wrong with being afraid. Thanks to a combination of ADD, anxiety and an overactive imagination, I have been in a constant state of low level fear since I was 4 years old with lots of big spikes through out.
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Can we all please stop telling entertainers of any sort to stick to whatever their form of entertainment is and not tweet about politics/current events? Current events/politics impact all of us no matter what our jobs are. If you don't like someone's tweets, unfollow.
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I think this year I’m going to work with a personal trainer to get ripped and also learn how to do my own make up. I plan to also get good at axe throwing, learn to use a smoker and get even better at baking. Gonna be a good year!
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Just a reminder: Politics impacts everyone. It is impossible to “stay out of politics”, no matter what someone’s job is.
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New hair! Blue and green alternating!
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We need to seriously re-evaluate the way we think about handling trolls (the harassment/threat kind, not the fun hair/party kind.) I just shared a video of a streamer shutting one down. Her responses are filled with people saying that the troll got what they wanted.
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I would like these in a Men's 12/Women's 14 please and thank you.
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2009 vs 2019. Twist, I’ve always been cute.
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“I’ve tolerated your existence and I deserve praise for that. I will stop someone from killing you, but I don’t think you are ACTUALLY a woman. Anyway, I’m a hero.”
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting a picture of yourself so people will say nice things about you. I do it all time. We all like to be told we are cute from time to time! You can respond to this with a picture of yourself and then trade compliments with each other!
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That's Griffin McElroy.
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Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I don’t know how how many of you know, but my mom passed away 14 years ago. If you have a mom in your life that you love, even if she didn’t give birth to you, make sure you let her know tomorrow. You never know how many more chances you’ll get.
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New characters:
Jackle (he/him)
Festo (they/them)
Pip (she/her)
Dip (she/Her)
Mimi (they/them)
Ramos (she/her)
Riveau (he/him)
Bartholemus (he/him)
#TheZoneCast
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In case anyone was wondering,
@JustinMcElroy
is currently in first in our shared fantasy football league. I know for a fact that he forgot the password to this league a couple years ago.
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Me: (trying to meditate)
Brain: ...
Me: ...
Brain: The best part about manufacturing cheese are the friends you make along the whey!
Me: (sighs, tweets it)
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Today is a very special day. Today is the day that I married the greatest person I have ever known.
@teresamcelroy
inspires me every day to be a better person. We have been together for almost a decade and married for 6 of those years. I love her more and more. Happy anniversary!
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I hope 2020 is the year everyone stops saying “ladies and gentlemen”. It’s outdated and exclusionary. It is also by far the less interesting option. Let’s be more creative and inclusive in the next decade.
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How does one audition for voice over work? Aside from creating a podcast tricking someone into letting you into their movie, I mean.
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Things people like Ben Sh*p*ro are talking about when they are talking about returning to "manliness":
Anger
Homophobia
Spousal Abuse
Misogyny
Transphobia
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For those asking about my new profile pic. Yup, carved that myself. I hope you like it. It's not perfect, but it's the best I could do.
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┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓
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┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃
I THOUGHT THIS SAID “ZOO”
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"Scholars doubt that this person 'JK Rowling' even existed. Some theorize that the books were actually written by Sir Francis Bacon. Others believe they were authored by Christopher Marlowe. However, most scholars agree that the books simply appeared one day as if by... magic?"
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LOOKS LIKE WE'VE MADE IT!!!!
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“Hey fam, it’s me Geralt42069. Tonight I’m gonna be streaming a little Stardew, but first don’t forget to toss me a coin over on Patreon!”
-The Twitcher, Netflix (2019)
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It's
#WorldMentalHealthDay
! I know how hard it can be to deal with the stigma. I was diagnosed with ADD at 9 and spent the next 13 years-
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When Bebe says “castle” she doesn’t hit the C so it sounds like “asshole”. It makes Disney World REALLY FUN.
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Hi everyone! I took Bebe to a comic book convention, shared a donut with her, took her book shopping, we’re having lunch together and I am watching her euphorically eat bacon. Anyway, it’s a great day and I just wanted to share!
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In case anyone wants to keep track:
TAZ: Amnesty
TAZ: Balance
TAZ: Commitment
TAZ: Dust
TAZ: Elementary
TAZ: Fur
TAZ: G?
TAZ: Inheritance
TAZ: Just Us
TAZ: Knights
#TheZoneCast
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What if “I like big butts and I can not lie” are two separate statements?
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In case you missed it, here’s the video of
@IMKristenBell
being excited to see
@JustinMcElroy
@griffinmcelroy
and I.
@Lin_Manuel
was there too but I don’t think she noticed.
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SCENE: My Office.
[Bebe walks into office]
BEBE: Mommy, Dot and me are going on a walk!
ME: Oh? Do you want me to come?
BEBE: No! You have to stay here and make money!
[BEBE leaves office]
END SCENE
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Oh, what's that Timmy and Tommy? Turnip price today is 62 bells?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!? I BUILT COOL TOWN WITH MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE CALLING THE AUTHORITIES?! I *AM* THE AUTHORITIES!!!!!
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When I was a kid, I never would have guessed that being an adult and going to bed “whenever I want” would mean 930pm.
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