Whoever is in charge of Texas Roadhouse should be running the country.

Nothing like playing cards against humanity and having to throw out the cards that are above an eighth grade reading level 🥴

https://t.co/FxdcXa1I7i

HEY! ✊ The Trinity of Terror tour is off to a great start. Tour is just beginning. Go get your tickets + VIP packages now at https://t.co/hcXiakWLG5 🎥: Courtney Saylor

Christian coma, you are a god among men.

I can already taste the Sunday morning McDonald's breakfast.

Entering Twitter HQ – let that sink in!

"Perfection is procrastination masquerading as quality control."

Bert Kreischer looks like a chubby Eminem.

At it's core, @netflix movie #SeaBeast is about standing up to tyrannical government. Cannot recommend enough.

Motivation is a byproduct of success more so than failure.

aliens, show yourselves

https://t.co/OtV3HTKlE7

Download Zillow. Like a bunch of homes. Watch those homes sell. Cry. Delete Zillow. Wait three months. Repeat.

My daughter just referred to cucumbers as "the green hotdog vegetable" and I see no reason to call them anything else in the future.

.@ElonMusk tweeted: "I'm buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in." It's all fun and games Elon until Hunter Biden gets his head stuck in the vending machine.

Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

I need more friends to play Apex with.

$30 "quality performance" bonus for the first quarter of 2022 is laughable from a company shooting for North of 35 mil on the year 😂

Lmfao no fucking way.