Tomi
@tomiwebstr
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smooth operator
Madeira, Manchester, Madrid
Joined June 2016
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Last Seen Profiles
she turned around & someone screamed holy smoke, lmaooo bro i understand, we’ve all been there 😭
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I need to watch a movie with a plot twist that’ll have me in disbelief for days
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women would casually say “i haven’t cried in a while, i should cry tonight” like that’s a perfectly normal thing to say
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women are in the quotes calling me a real man for a babe that doesn’t exist
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Have you ever wanted to take a nap, but the nap don't wanna take you?
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I need another clip from this man 😭
🟣 Official: Burnley have been relegated from Premier League.
Two teams that have come up from the Championship have gone straight back down.
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in 100 years you say?
🚨 Manchester United have NOT lost a home FA Cup game against Liverpool for over 100 years.
Hopefully, we're maintaining this record tomorrow. 💪🔴
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If I ever post my penis and you people don't tell me that I'm brave or send me love & light, God will punish all of you
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penis wey dey make person wan test positive for corona virus, God abeg grant it unto me
Idris Elba’s Wife Sabrina Dhowre-Elba Tests Positive For Coronavirus: “I Wanted To Be With Him”
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imagine waking up & then coming on twitter to find out you’re the official face of unemployment
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you were either there, or you weren’t
remember when moose would pop up in step up and everyone would just go “moosee!!!!!”
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when i don’t know what to eat i just stay hungry
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I like women that talk, because me i don’t like to say much. just be talking for two of us
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the idea of applying pressure doesn’t resonate with my soul, i will leave you alone
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he knows
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getting treated like this only to return to your normal life the next day would send me into depression
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inside that playlist, i’ll still skip some songs just because i’m not in the mood to listen to them at that moment 😂
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i’ve never seen PR for assignments in my life before
Assignments will always look stressful till you start and there’s so much interesting knowledge 😂
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there’s a white man on tiktok giving life hacks incase of a power/water outage emergency, please guess the life hack? flushing your toilet with a bucket of water. i’m not joking
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when i beat her at 8ball, & she sends word games, & then i beat her at that too
Men that try to win you in IMessage games deserve a place in hell tournaments.
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funny as FUCK
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ayra starr
But if Ayra Starr or Tiwa Savage calls me on stage to dance with her, I’m sorry to my woman ooo.
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DSS picking me up at 43 because i forgot to pay back the remaining 2k of my student loan
ICYMI: Students loan bill proposes jail term for defaulters
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my babe is on monthly salary, idk about you guys
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having a fast charger is one of those little things that can make your life so much easier
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whatever job makes me travel the world & experience places & cultures like this is my dream job
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we played against ivory coast, the referee, the entire stadium, and 53 other countries in africa tonight
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naso dem kill ned stark
if you have a pure heart, the universe will always fight for you.
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as i grew up, i realized this story is very funny, because how did they get to the seabed to walk across? the red sea’s seabed is at least 6000ft, did they jump down?
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august : I could die today knowing fully well I loved her her deeply
jada : it was an entanglement
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one of my favorite things is when people tweet something expecting people to be on their side, but they get cooked instead
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she said you’ll play qualifiers, group stage, round of 16, quater final, semi final, & final. when it’s not world cup 😂
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usher terry raymond, i’m familiar with your game sir
Usher’s son steals his dad’s phone to message PinkPantheress on Instagram in cute interaction:
“Hello this is Usher's son Naviyd I'm you true biggest fan please follow me back…I put him on to masterpieces”
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tems already skipped like 3 levels in her career with that essence song ngl. see grace
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my stomach seeing rice come down my throat for the fifth time in two days
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I don’t think i’ve had any great year that i’d be excited to go back to, i’ve just been living
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still kills me how marty & wendy were both seeing a therapist, but marty was secretly bribing the therapist to take his side, while wendy was doing the same. what a couple 😂
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I’ve been sitting out decembers for as long as i can remember, God i want to stand up please
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we entertain lots of stupid discussions & comparisons with this guy i’m ngl 😂
Cristiano Ronaldo’s career after 30 is better than most players all-time career. 😂
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how did they get away with this thing?
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I remember when they nabbed hushpuppi & people were saying the US government will recruit him so he can be hacking for them, that they can’t let his talent go to waste. I don too read rubbish for this app 😭😂😂😂
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this song slapped harder when they said he recorded it after leaving the illuminati and they were threatening him
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0-0-1 complete, we go again tomorrow
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“the GOVERNOR promised to support him (a private citizen) to ensure that every child in lagos state gets education.”
it is well.
Tunde Onakoya meet with the Lagos State Governor Babajide Sanwo Olu
@jidesanwoolu
👏🏾👏🏾
The governor promised to support him to ensure that every child in Lagos state gets Education.
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I don’t think you understand or grasp the concept of who & what you’re dealing with
3 months of steady nationwide protest, this man will resign
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You are part of a welcome party to receive aliens that just landed Earth. What would be your opening line?
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that black wey dey the middle, na shege be that. I saw shege
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I have parents, does he?
Before you slander Batman tonight, just know he can afford a ps5 and you can't.
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the person they’re talking about here is an NBA player that makes $3.8M per month, $877K per week, $556K per game, $139K per quarter, & $11K per minute. that’s who’ll come & play politics with you
Hilda ask if he was ibo he said yes.
When he came to Nigeria he only met the mother side of his family.
He literally has no knowledge about anything Yoruba.
One day he will wake up that he wants to contest for a position in Yoruba land and we will reject him with full chest.
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Onana & Ondoa
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someone is dealing in multimillions, but because she’s not on a podcast discussing about cheating back, she’s not popping 😂
Fans react as Ex-BBNaija housemate, Kaisha ventures into Provision business.
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na peer pressure. e wan feel among
- I can’t believe Batman cannot fly. Then why does he have a cape fgs?
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we talked about it last week, go and collect somebody’s note
can we talk about the withdrawals that come with no longer speaking to a person you spoke to every single day?
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to be a celebrity is something, there’s always a camera in your face even in your worst moments. family should know better
10/11: Wizkid at his mother’s candlelight service in Lagos.
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people that don’t stutter when they’re clearing you >>>
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cryinggg because efcc really said hushpuppi still had to answer to them. dem be like those short ss3 seniors wey nobody rate
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I've had this for over a year and it's still funny asl
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you will not cry ke? run it back for me joor 😂😂😂
I’m hurt man. This match was bigger than football. The biggest rivalry on the continent. Why do we always have to lose against Naija at EVERYTHING.
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the guy first dey record, e never understand wetin dey go on yet 😭🖐🏾
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you no go get audacity ke?
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paul go write full higher education if e see wetin dey go on for church these days
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it’s actually hilarious that benzema, firminho & neymar haven’t been able to replicate what
#7
has been doing in saudi like certain people claimed they would
🚨🇸🇦 Benzema when asked about not scoring goals since December: "I'm not the same Benzema of Real Madrid because it's not the same game, the same players...".
"I need help on the pitch, I need a lot of things. I can't win games alone".
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this is that bruno fernandes football, the el bomba special, aka i see am, i launch am
We just started talking few minutes ago ooooo. This is why I don't reply dms .
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that naira rates 10am update will hit tomorrow 😂
Nigeria is the best country in the fucking world 🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🔥🔥
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I can assure you, they’re doing great
dk how to explain it but i can't imagine not being nigerian, wonder how other people feel not having any nigerian blood in them 😭
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this lineup is the equivalent of that barca 08/09 side, holy shit
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Siblings will come home for holiday and start acting like they're visitors talmabout "where do you guys keep the glass cup?"
On my head. We keep it on my head, idiot.
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eating bugatti rice in this economy should warrant a visit from EFCC
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2024 is really the year for real lovers
JUST IN: Three men apprehended after they stole a motorcycle valued at ₦400,000, sold it for ₦100,00 then used the money to lodge in an hotel with their girlfriends.
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me behind my wife while she rejects my food at the family function because i don’t like hard ponmo
"My husband just stepped out", "my husband doesn't eat salad", "my husband drove me here" 🥹
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Until you hear "even my guy tell me sey I no go blow" on their next track
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“shacommended” is probably the greatest yoruba-english word. hats off to whoever came up with that
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timaya you don’t need to say anything, i hear you loud & clear
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all onions ever does is make your food better, i don’t get why people dislike it so much
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Aang was just 12 years old when he mastered 3 elements within the space of one year, defeated the firelord, saved the world from a 100 year war and the fire nations reign of terror but okay, go off.
Lil Pump on his success: "Nobody has done what I've done at da age of 18."
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hm & his work wife
My own work wife wan use plantain chips kill me. Hope you can see your mates ?
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how will you explain to someone that the reason you arrived late is because your plane entered poto poto 😂😂
Airplane gets stuck in mud after skidding off runway in Murtala Muhammed Airport Lagos while trying to take off.
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Gathered some of the most ICONIC scenes from Game Of Thrones and made a thread.
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they’re not talking to the corrupt people in government offices, they’re talking to you using iphone & carrying laptop bag 🫵🏾
Nigerians Who Can’t Explain Their Sources Of Wealth Would Be Arrested, Charged To Court – Police | Sahara Reporters
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Guys, this is real. The only reason they're trying to pass this bill is to allow rapists escape prosecution from the law by simply marrying their victims. This bill would in turn create paths for child marriage and statutory rape. This is SICK
Turkey could introduce new law allowing rapists to marry their underage victims
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Nigeria 1 - 1 Equatorial Guinea
Côte d’ivoire 0 - 1 Nigeria
Guinea-Bissau 0 - 1 Nigeria
Nigeria 2 - 0 Cameroon
One goal conceded in the entire competition. Afcon heritage
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you just know he was stealing provisions in secondary school
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I should watch a 10mins video on a monday morning, pls i’m not that interested in her story
American Lady in viral picture finally speaks, shares her side of the story, speaks on the viral video of Davido 'begging'.
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they’re inventing a new one right before our eyes
This man never ask for my christmas list oo…babes??😭😭Una men don ask for una list??
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