timothymathai
@timothymathai
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NO BIO, KNOW ME THROUGH THE SOUL
Nairobi, Kenya
Joined January 2013
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Lakini enyewe Africa tuko religious, huko US only one pastor prayed, Kenya sahii a Maasai elder would be chanting some shit no one understands
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Wallahi the courts shouldn't fail Kenyans. Didmus must be jailed!!
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Ombachi swimming but still stationary is my funny video of the week 😂😂😂😂😂
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Lakini dating someone for 10 years, kwani mnaboil njahi?
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How my dad listens when I tell the rest of the fam what I do for a living
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I need to make a lot of money this year man! Idk how but it'll happen. Shit always aligns for me 🕯
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You know a country is doing badly when it's citizens hate and roast their first lady. It's unheard of 😂😂😂
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If you saved her picture on your phone so that you can shame her, then you're the one with a problem sir
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Yaani Karua is the running mate for Baba. The same lady who couldn't see eye to eye with him in '07/'08 LMAO! Aki politics wewe!! Mkipigana nyinyi ni mafala btw!
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I want to understand what's the beef between Nairobi developers and kitchens is. Why do they act like giving you a kitchen is a favour? Aah!!
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Gai! I can't imagine how chaotic this app will be when mama tusks leaves the wozap. Mhindi hio siku itabidi aelewe 😂😂
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This Sakaja debacle reminds me of Waititu and Kabogo as 'classmates' at Punjab University but they never saw each other despite doing the same course 😂😂😂
Kenya is a comedy state!
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Imagine we were conditioned to believe national exams will determine the trajectory of your life? Kwanza the pressure from teachers and family poh!
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Any man that wears a fullneck is a con
Millionaire Kenyan Prince Arrive At Brian Chira Burial in his expensive car.
Walikua Wapi when Alive?
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The sun and mosquitoes
Name TWO things that are truly working in kenya ?
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In bed is where they draw the line
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Another challenge Kenyans can’t participate. I love it here 😂
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Quick Reminder: This man did not ask for any award, he was just minding his own business practicing his democratic right
Quick reminder: This man once received a State honour for eating Githeri.
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Ebu y’all read and internalize that caption. Money is good, let no one tell you otherwise
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The cargo aircrafts are on a world Tour. RT if you see it
More than 300 dedicated cargo aircraft moving freight around the world right now.
📦📡
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Kenya's solution to solving hunger is lining up trucks and trailers at Statehouse and the president flagging them off to God knows where coz I doubt they even get to their destination. We've been in the pits since independence guys.
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Was telling my mum something, and I said 'wacha nikuambie kitu babe' 😂😂😂😂😂
Hajawahi niangalia hivo 😂😂😂
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There's this Kenyan chap that lives in the UK who gets so mad when you challenge his tweets hadi he starts tweeting in caps 😂😂. Kidogo alie hata LMAO!
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I love seeing grad pics. Whether Diploma, Degree, Masters or PhD. Celebrate that win and moment in life kabisa. Masomo si rahisi.
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The confidence he oozes saying the prices of those cars is just incredible
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These people that leave jobs and decide to travel the world, where do you get the money? Pls don't tell me savings.
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Huyu alikuwa anataka kuiba vikombe judging by the jersey
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You want us to sleep with the police?
Stop having sex with people you can't call when you have an emergency...value your private parts 😂
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When you see that notification ‘I’ll not be able to make it leo’ na umekuwa ukikula njugu wiki mzima
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People saying Uhuru warned us are hilarious, man. That guy looted this country to the core and spent his last days gaslighting us. Kwani hamna akili?!
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Promoters should actually consider daytime events. Concert starts at midday by 8 PM everyone is going home. Also minimise the artistes and DJs performing.
Just have a well thought out plan. Trust me it'll be good.
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‘Well, I’m tired of selling mandazis in my previous work place and I now feel I’m ready for a tough challenge here’
“So tell us. Why are you interested in working with us?”
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It's sad that men still don't understand this whole scenario coz of ignorance
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I tell people to stop idolizing these people. They're nothing behind a camera and social media account. Just live your life honestly.
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Rigathiress only knows to speak up when LGBTQIA+ is mentioned. Femicide issues, she's gone silent.
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If y’all are dating your babe should be your best friend and that’s on that! PERIOD!!
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Umepiga filter hadi unakaa chungwa
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Judging from the accidents I’ve seen on the TL from last night till now, it’s high time this video resurfaces
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The side that's not wet
Do you cuddle in the middle of the bed, your side of the bed, or their side of the bed?
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My granny has called me to the side and told me 'muda unayoyoma' told her 'napeleka mambo pole pole' she's said 'hakuna kitu kama hio, nataka nione kabla niende kule watu huenda'
🙃😐😶
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I weep for our kenyan ladies, all they got is ngomas and those fluffy slides
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Jayden: No sale of alcohol in eateries and restaurants.
Mawimbi, Social House, Ole Mara and Milan:
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Tiësto is dropping a MWAKI remix kesho. Do you know how big that is for Sofiya?! 😮
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So this means there have been no progress in tackling this pandemic since last year right?
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My week has ended with such great news. Couldn't have imagined it in any other way. Here's to everyone's trying to chase that dream/career ✨️
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Rules for FWBs:
1. No mushy mushy texts
2. No dates
3. Only text kuuliza 'uko?' , 'Unakam leo? or 'Let's meet next week'
4. Don't open up
FWBs work very well until one party catches feelings then it just gets awkward if the feelings aren't reciprocated haha.
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First round huwa hivo pia, nuksi tupu
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Guys, mkiteremshana huko nje na 'strangers' alafu upeane pesa in the name of being conned usituletee pls. Gharamia ufala nahuko.
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Kev Buo gave the so called 'socialites' a platform kweli. Back then if you didn't have a photo with the buoart watermark hujamake it. Watu wametoka far 😂😂
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Mnatishiwa na msee hawezi jikuna mgongo?!
Mmezoea kutusiwa na wanawake TL hadi mnadhani kila mtu ni kama nyinyi.
I will not allow any form of disrespect from a woman here, however trivial. I will issue a warning: a boundary.
For men, ni kukutafuta na ku-resolve issue the way men know best.
Usikuwe mjinga for RTs.
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'Post baby mama tujue taste yako ya ukweli'
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 you nikkas are ungovernable, SMH!
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Btw niko na miti for sale. Got Bamboo culms and seedlings, Jacaranda, eucalyptus nakadhalika. Hit me up for more information.
Kindly RT, my buyer may be on your TL. Thanks 😊
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Just learnt it was done by a Kenyan agency
Heh enyewe Magical Kenya has a lot of ground to cover.. look at how visit Rwanda went all out with the Global Citizen thing… yaani.. na artwork ingine safi sana and very clear.. Mungu atubariki pia jameni 🙏😂
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Gov’t: Deputy President to take a 80% pay cut
Churches:
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Watu wa VIP/VVIP huwa ni complimentaries. You can judge by their mannerisms.
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Kairo did something with the Q5s, and now he's doing something again with the Porsche. A trendsetter that one!
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1. Creating employment
2. Its my money
3. Life is too short to do laundry and dishes
4. See no 2
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Mtoto
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Comprehensive insurance to go up by 50% next year. Another reason why I shouldn't buy a car LMAO!
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Tanasha ameona hio House tour akawish angeandika flossin mauwano kwa wall
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Our mums didn’t go for brunch and rod trips
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Such an event in Kenya 97% itakuwa influencers
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Mandem turns a year older, grateful beyond measures 🙏
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The lady can actually take the man on a first date btw. Has happened to me thrice and I enjoyed those dates. Hii kitu haitakangi makasiriko na haina formula
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The shawarmas at the Adekunle's concert were 99% cabbage. E for Effort!!
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Yaani mlinipinji simu 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Ni sawa tu but a fun day it was
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Uzuri wa hio story ya Azziad haiwezi geuzwa to be a gender war since the interviewer was a lady
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Igathe should visit bars and pay people's bills if he's serious
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Nairobians should be in Jerotich Seii's bandwagon. Don't let her fight this thing alone.
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A luo man tasting faithfulness for the first time
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Boda guys are a pandemic. Akili nayo hawananga kabisa.
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There's no person who loves cats ako na akili poa
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We can proudly say that TUSKER OKTOBERFEST was the best event this year ama?
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Mnarukia hashtag na nyinyi ndio HQ ya cholera
Here is an alternative to the
#RedAlert
We serve well-prepared seafood that you can add to your
#Food
list.
#mondaythoughts
#crabfest
#prawnstars
#seafood
#westonhospitality
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That Sauti Sol event I'll just wait till curfew is scrapped. I need to enjoy that moment without being bothered that I have to get home before 10 PM
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Aunty Nimu and Halioduor have the best IG aesthetics. From their stories to their feed. The color tones, so pleasing 😍
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You're as disgusting as the person who wrote this for sharing
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Anyway, kama unamumunya velo na kuvuta fegi, hizo maokra haziwezi kusaidia. Sorry to burst your bubble, sis
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My thoughts and prayers are with the 6 brave men and their families of the Cellulant team who lost their lives in the terror attack. Deeply saddened loosing such brilliant minds. Fare thee well 🙏🏻😭💔
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To all the football fans, here’s something reminiscence 😩😩
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Ama hii ni campaign ya Cavalli. Influenzas huwa wakora sana btw 🤔
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My cousin is selling his bike. Details in the poster. RT for the next buyer.
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