Jonathan Edward Durham
@thisone0verhere
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Writer of Speculative Literary Fiction • Generalized Anxiety Wunderkind • Already Sorry • Sneaker Addict •🐰👀🌾 Author of “Winterset Hollow” 🌾👀🐰•
California, USA
Joined June 2017
••🐰🌾 WINTERSET HOLLOW 🌾🐰••. The breakout #DarkFantasy sensation that will leave you breathless! It’s Barley Day on Addington Isle…and you’re invited to the hunt! 🐰🐸🦊🐻. Available in paperback and E-BOOK!.#SFF #fantasybooks #KindleBooks
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The public pool was like a civil war battlefield for months.
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Don’t invite me to your Super Bowl party unless this is the vibe
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They should let you electronically eavesdrop on other tables at restaurants but the more you listen to another table the more of their tab you have to pay.
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me: babe. Babe. BAAAABE!!! . husband: omg WHAT?!. me: the dog is doing something cute 👉👈.
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Honestly I don’t wanna see *one* more new podcast until these guys have one
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*Folds hoodie like a flag and moves it down one closet shelf. A single nod*.
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Sometimes you take a beloved hoodie out of your public rotation and retire it to your pajama rotation and that’s a very solemn transition for an introvert.
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Now that we’ve all had a month to digest the year, I want you all to stop and think about whether you really want to throw an April Fool’s Day into this mix.
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Pro tip: if you don’t check your mail often enough, you get to spend a little chunk of January 24th standing in your kitchen feeling the light inside you die a little with each Christmas card you open.
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Cream cheese on my steering wheel but same.
I have accidentally spilled an entire jar of marmalade inside my hat.
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We have a souvenir flag from Medieval Times that we keep inside our front door, and if one of us is having a bad day, we put it at half-staff when we get home, that way the other knows as soon as *they* get home and can adjust accordingly and this is a very good system indeed.
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When my social battery runs out seven minutes into the function
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Petition to serve pickles with more food than just sandwiches. Pizza? Soup? Salad? Tacos? Bbq? Why are we gatekeeping our own joy like this?!.
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When I’ve been in the garage for a whole 37 seconds
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Omg I love winter so much now give me that little tube of wax so my lips don’t bleed all over the snow.
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So the worst genre is definitely dystopian nonfiction.
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Me in the group chat after watching the most unhinged 173 message convo erupt all over my phone
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Jack is concerned and he just wants you all to know he’s here to help
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Dogs are great because they’re basically like 21% Samwise Gamgee, 17% stress ball, 12% Chewbacca, and 50% just happy to be here.
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