in ten years no one will remember what you said. they will remember how hot you were.

damn they figured out a way to get all my ex’s together

a man’s version of serving cunt is smoking a cigar in a wool trench coat.

being someone who likes to cook is so embarrassing. why do i have 12 pictures of roast beef on my phone

if kendall roy had hinge

RT @goat_biryani: remy the rat was only good at cooking bc he was making french food and his little rat hands only really needed to carry a….

(i am turning 23 tomorrow).

the thing about being 22 is right before you turn 23 a little screw flies loose in your brain and all of a sudden every 35 year old guy is now the hottest man you’ve ever seen.

when opportunity presents itself don’t be afraid to go after it. a man just tried to hit on me with “i just wanted to say sorry about the supreme court”.

RT @Brittymigs: I need my next partner to be absolutely looney tunes for me. Like, heart exploding from chest, tongue rolling out into a ca….

good morning

daintily holding my baggy jeans as i run down the stairs. like a little gen z cinderella.

having a white mom is so fun. on a call with my mom last night when suddenly she’s like sofia it’s happening again. every 10 years i have a terrible urge to cut a bob.

buccal fat is an accessory.

omg it got cold so suddenly <<< the farmers almanac has come to pass.

you ever see someone and you’re like oh you could’ve worked the hell out of the coal mines.

i think i’ve finally cracked the code on my type. riz ahmed, jeremy allen white, and jeremy strong are 3 of my celebrity crushes. i’m into dudes battling their inner demons on camera.

it’s not enough to post a picture and have people think I’m hot. they need to lose their minds. go clinically insane even.

being in your 20’s is all abt texting the girlies in broken sentences. like cavewoman.