hi can i get an iced latte with breast milk i mean breast milk i mean breast milk sorry i mean breast milk i mean breast milk i mean.

RT @luckyDogLane: If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times and then give up.

looketh like thou hath fallen for the eldest trick in the scroll.

i’ll be there in a chinese minute.

i’m something of a crackpipe scientist myself.

RT @thejoeydavis: jack kerouac died the way he lived. puking blood until he died.

RT @thejoeydavis: 🌭 hot dog 🌭 .🐸 jumping frog 🐸 .🏜 albuquerque 🏜.

i think being drunk. is good.

RT @thejoeydavis: “got tight last night on absinthe and did knife tricks. great success shooting the knife underhand into the piano.” –hemi….

now watching (drunk)

from 2017 but i’m now the same age he was then.

“life goes on; you can’t keep clinging to these things that were around 20 years ago. you need to find some way. to make this moment in my life. substantial or mean something. ”

people used to drinking 5% seltzers and beers drinking canned cocktails for the first time going “what the hell?? this is fucking deadly!!!” even though it only has 1.5oz of liquor in it.

RT @thejoeydavis: fun date idea: i shoot myself in the head and you get to keep what’s in my pockets and the gun.

i keep forgetting to be funny.

jenna ortega went to the plastic surgeon and said “uh yeah lemme get the handsome squidward”.

guy about to watch the challenger shuttle launch: heh, hope they don’t run into any challenges! 😏.

we’re not so different u and i. about 11 letters different.

they’re playing big iron at the bar.

yang gangstalking.

RT @thejoeydavis: white women stop fucking their dogs challenge [IMPOSSIBLE].