z - linden 🇵🇸
@thefruitycowboy
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21. 🏳️🌈. dallas stars (their 2017 draft picks specifically). random other guys sometimes. priv @mirobotter
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🧵 thread of my threads 🧵
(bc i tweet way too much and i need an easy way to find things)
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why don’t all teams do this??? i wanna see 32 teams worth of dogs messing around on the ice
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no bc these replies are so funny, like it’s not homophobic mean it’s just sports mean
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i don’t care if this is a practiced scripted statement, im glad it was said by him, he has so much power in this sport and using that power to say even kind of bland statements is a net positive.
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i want an all star event where the younger players quiz joe pavelski, patrice bergeron, and claude giroux on internet slang
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maybe it wasn’t about the islanders finding mat barzal, but about mat barzal finding himself.
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everyone look at elvis with his puppy chillin on his pads 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
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oh and since we’re all mad at the nhl again, can i just remind everyone that the blackhawks are still acting like everything is fine and they did nothing wrong in 2010
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dear nhl team social media/marketing teams i have some fantastic ideas for you:
-the sharks need to go to an aquarium
-the stars need to go to an observatory
-the ducks need to go to a local pond
-the golden knights need to go to medieval times
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you know the puppy super bowl? yeah, the nhl needs one of those. put some dogs on the ice with a few pucks so i can watch them slip and slide around please
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“your star winger isn’t killing anyone” yeah we know 😭😭😭
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joe pavelski partying in vegas with all star teammates cale makar, jordan kyrou, clayton keller, and kirill kaprizov
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i think it’s so funny when guys fall in the net and the goalie just keeps them there like your in my net? you’re mine now.
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nhl captains, i had a lot of trouble with this one so sorry if it sucks
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THE FINNISH MAFIA IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THIS IS SO GOOD THEYRE SO SILLY I ADORE THEM
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let me also point out that there definitely are women who watch hockey bc the players are hot, and there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!
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i just love black based jerseys so much!!!
(if you saw this before without the flames one, no you didn’t 😊)
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I HOPE SOMEONE TAKES HIM TO GET AN ICE CREAM CONE OR SOMETHING AFTER THIS
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hockey guys: jason robertson is a genius, his hockey iq is off the charts
jason robertson:
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maybe if tyler seguin had said “team breakfast is gay and i don’t support that” he would have never been scratched…
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how jake oettinger should be treated all summer
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if the stars lose this series i won’t even be that mad bc how can you win against a team that’s cheating?
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just saw a tiktok that was like “hottest hockey players” and then it was like 5 prospects/college students, a few younger guys in the nhl and then… jamie benn???
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i feel like we did not talk about this as much as we should have. so here is me reminding you that joe pavelski invited jacob peterson to his son’s hockey game and then had him work in the penalty box.
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since the four teams left are all in the south i think they should get rid of the suits. it’s so fucking hot down here and i wanna see them in 3-5 inch inseams, crop tops, tanks! i want tattoos out!
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WAS I SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT ALL BY MYSELF THAT DICKIE IS AN OUT SPOKEN PRO-VACCINE GUY???
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the barracuda/stars/wild relationship drama is what i’m here for
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ok i’m seeing talk about owen power being a swiftie on the tl, but how have we so soon forgotten him???
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at first i was like “oh that’s concerning” but then i remember that he’s old enough that like a real adult could be young enough not to remember him playing in pittsburgh
Jagr: "I want to say thanks to my girlfriend. She's too young to remember when I played in Pittsburgh."
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hockeys that are shorter than taylor swift: alex debrincat, johnny gaudreau, adam fox, brayden point, sebastian aho, travis konecny, jack hughes
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hey babe i’m at the joann’s which gay yarn do you want?
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give whoever came up with this and designed this a fucking raise holy shit
We summited the mountain and have our eyes set on the skies.
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i’m not a huge fan of the “hockey is for everyone” slogan. bc hockey shouldn’t be for everyone. hockey shouldn’t be for racists, misogynists, homophobes, transphobes, rape apologists, sex offenders, domestic abusers.
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she’s like “these freaks with their superstitions and rituals eat the same shit everyday” lol
Meet Chefette! As the woman behind the Stars' meals, Sevilla Riley and her team make sure to get the Stars ready and fed right all season long. 👩🍳
#TexasHockey
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tw// mention of sexual assault, chicago blackhawks
reminder that this is what toews said AFTER kyle beech was revealed to be john doe. AFTER toews had a name and face to connect to this awful story. AFTER kyle beech went on tsn and bravely told his his story to the world.
Kyle Davidson says the Blackhawks will not be re-signing Jonathan Toews. A discussion and decision that was made in Seattle.
So tonight is Toews' last game in a Blackhawks uniform.
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joe pavelski coming back to dallas after being the oldest man alive all weekend:
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THE DALLAS STARS BETTER NOT BE KISSING EACH OTHER ON THE MOUTHS!!!!
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yes, you did hear correctly, razor called jamie benn and tom wilson “daddy”
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wow! it’s like people can actually grow and change? it’s almost as if ignorant people can educate themselves? and maybe we should be talking abt that more than the mistakes they made as long as they’re making an effort to correct them!
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SHUT UP I FOUND THEM!!! RYAN SUTER AND JACK HUGHES GIGGLING AND FLIRTING TO CURSE YOUR TIMELINE
enlisting the help of the jack hughes girlies!!! does anyone remember the gifs of ryan suter and jack hughes from maybe a practice during the 2019 iihf world championship ????
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still begging for anyone to find that one time they gave wyatt a while ass pizza in the locker room bc he couldn’t participate in the shotgunning
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worst case scenario: the players didn’t want to use the tape, best case scenario: it was a management decision to cave to the bigots. either way really disappointing especially for a team with players who have family in the lgbtq+ community.
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if you or a loved one felt victimized by this, you may be entitled to financial compensation from the dallas stars
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top 3 hockey players that are too “little guy” to be as tall as they are (jason robertson 6’3”; moritz seider 6’4”; andre burakovsky 6’3”)
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all kids do these days is chomp chomp their mouth guard and giggle in the face of danger.
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BENNGUIN GRAPHIC IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024
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IM GOING TO ACTUALLY CRY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM???? HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DOWN SO BAD?????
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probably not the first time mcdavid has undressed strome…
McDavid undressed Strome and scores to bring Edmonton within 2-1 at 8:33.
4-on-4 goal
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MORE PLAYERS NEED TO DO THIS!!!! and *especially* the ones who said at the beginning of the season that they would use pride tape despite the ban!!!
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HAPPY DALLAS STARS PRIDE NIGHT TO ALL THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!!!! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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have we considered that mtkachuk was probably made to watch hank/john green crash course videos in high school
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that’s our top line: ipad kid, 40 year old dad, and a hot pirate.
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in 24 hours they will be getting ready to play against each other in the nhl for the first time. so let’s reflect on what they were…
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joe pavelski (oldest nhl player at the all star game) this weekend:
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EVERYONE SHUT UP OTTER PLAYOFF SHUT OUT AND SMOOCH ON THE HELMET FROM TYLER!!!!!! THIS IS MY STANLEY CUP!!!!!
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pavs showing up to the all star game like “sorry i couldn’t find a sitter”
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statistically, the stanley cup has had to have seen some gay shit right?
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this one?
okay, who's got that one clip of razor talking about miro & mcdavid?
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mikko rantanen blowing a whistle and yelling “WRONG”
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i’m so ready (also this quote was originally razor talking about a hypothetical playoff series against the oilers)
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i think the number of women tyler seguin introduced into the league bc they think he’s hot, has to be equal to the number of men who had a sexuality crisis bc of him.
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when will biz just admit that he has a crush on tyler? like bro, it’s ok, we totally would understand.
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the audio that’s like HONEY GUESS WHOS BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD??? but it’s just this fucker
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HAPPY DALLAS STARS PRIDE NIGHT TO ALL THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!!!!
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tyler in his post game: “there’s not much thinking going on here.”
we know, tyler. we don’t expect too many thoughts from you.
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THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO CONCUSSION AND CTE RESEARCH!!!! MORE PLAYERS SHOULD DO THIS!!!
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listen, im all for brady supporting his brother. but there is nothing more middle child than making your sibling’s successes about you.
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nothing better than the camera zooming in on otter and you can see him smiling under his mask
sorry i just started kicking my feet and giggling what are we talking about again
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RAZOR JUST SAID “BAD THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING WHEN RYAN SUTER’S OUT THERE ON THE ICE”
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in other stars news!!!! robo got to hang out with all his siblings and he decided not to smile in their picture !!!! what a jokester
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the only things that are certain in life: death, taxes, and team finland showing ass
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ANOTHER GAME ANOTHER GOAL FOR JAMIE BENN AND TYLER SEGUIN
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reporter: winnipeg has the largest filipino population in southern canada
robo:
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here’s an updated version with the new additions and call ups!!!!
after much deliberation and assistance from
@harleybacky
and
@pucktato
, here are YOUR 2022-2023 DALLAS STARS
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this whole matthew tkachuk whore thing is really disappointing bc i thought he was calling the guy a whore which is way funnier
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love when the stars do something insane like this INSTEAD OF JUST BEING NORMAL AND WINNING LIKE A NORMAL TEAM
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no matter what happens tonight, jake oettinger has proven himself to the team and to the league, and i can go to sleep happy abt that.
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not calling things like this is harmful for the sport in general, not just this specific game. every time a hit like this isn’t called, it’s the nhl saying they don’t care about head injury/trauma.
Calgary draws blood on two Stars players without penalties smh
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