Cousin Sal Profile
Cousin Sal

@TheCousinSal

Followers
234,438
Following
520
Media
2,295
Statuses
18,039

Jimmy Kimmel Live’s hidden camera prankster, undefeated professional wrestler and host of Cousin Sal’s Winning Weekend on @FanDuelTV

Los Angeles
Joined December 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I bet my publisher @twelvebooks that I'll receive 1,000 pre-orders of "You Can't Lose Them All" by Christmas. I'm donating $10 for every pre-order to @WCKitchen . Order now now via Amazon, Barnes & Noble, , or your preferred retailer!
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
John Madden is the reason every 13 year-old boy is better at time management than Mike McCarthy.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
San Darnold reunited with yet another favorite target.
@AdamSchefter
Adam Schefter
3 years
Patriots traded Stephon Gilmore to the Panthers for a 2023 sixth-round pick.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Have fun in Greece.
@SportsCenter
SportsCenter
2 years
LeBron James wants to play wherever Bronny is for his last year 👏
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Breaking: @AdamSchefter just announced his retirement.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Like a good neighbor…State Farm don’t care.
@usatodaysports
USA TODAY Sports
3 years
State Farm has Aaron Rodgers' back.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
I guess Aaron Rodgers decided to boycott the Super Bowl after all.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Tim Tebow cut again?!
@AdamSchefter
Adam Schefter
3 years
49ers released DB Dee Virgin from their practice squad.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
If the Nets sign Aaron Rodgers I’m going to be so pissed.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
1 month
Nuggets coach Mike Malone demonstrating the perfect way to troll the refs without incurring a fine. Bravo.… “Nikola Jokic. He was 25/20/9 tonight. And the most amazing stat of the night…he was 0/0 from the free throw line. Did not miss a free throw.”
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
BREAKING: Robert Kraft found not guilty as a result of the NFL’s new Tug Rule.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
Here’s Pete Rose telling my 5 year old to “take a hike” after he misfires on the tee. Found out later that Pete had bet $50 on a triple. @GoSportsCon
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
BREAKING: The Brooklyn Nets just signed Francis Ngannou. via @wojespn
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
My son is a dick
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Sounds weird but this was my favorite Kobe moment. The guy was just on a different level than everyone else. Effing fearless.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Nice job OJ. Grabbing Zeke in the second round when no one was paying attention is basically like getting away with murder.
@TheRealOJ32
O.J. Simpson
3 years
Fantasy Football Round Up!!! #FantasyFootball
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Please respect Aaron’s privacy as he does his own research in the hopes of figuring out what went wrong.
@TMZ
TMZ
2 years
Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley have reportedly called off their engagement.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Let this be the end of the bottle-flip game for the rest of eternity. We ain’t doing better than this.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
That tripping call was criminal. Not quite your TE committing murder or QB destroying his phone during an investigation or your owner getting busted in a rub and tug criminal...but still bad. #DALvsNE
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
This MJ doc is great but would anyone object if they stuck with the same season for more than 3 minutes before going back in time a half decade and then forward again 4 mins later?
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Not to start drama, but Tom didn't mention the Patriots in his unretirement announcement.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
This is gross. Fix your sh** NFL before this gets out of control.
@SharpFootball
Warren Sharp
3 years
I don’t want to live in a world where this minor level of enthusiasm after steamrolling the entire defense is a 15-yard penalty what’s wrong with you @NFL
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
. @BillSimmons called the Brady retirement announcement to the exact day on our Guess The Lines podcast Sunday night - which means he A) had inside information and B) always has inside information and therefore likely cheats guessing the lines
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
Remember the time David Stern blocked the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade because it upset the competitive balance of the league?Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Say what you will, but this is some of @NickKroll ’s best work.
@MiamiDolphins
Miami Dolphins
2 years
“My job is to coach you, to get all of that greatness out of you” Coach McDaniel 🤝 @Tua
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
My first meme post. How am I doing?
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 months
Congrats, @BillSimmons . I didn’t think it was possible to draft Mac Jones twice but your boys pulled it off. Good job by you!!
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
21 days
Beat it, Ken Jennings. We have a new greatest game show contestant of all-time.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I don’t want to get political here but I think the kneeling is rubbing fans the wrong way. Absolutely no one in attendance in either game tonight.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Per @AdamSchefter : The Raiders are currently looking to trade up to draft a social media manager in the top 10.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Al Michaels retires at halftime (-3000)
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 months
REFUND!!!
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Congratulations to New England for finally utilizing a Cam that’s not against the rules. #Spygate #Cheatriots
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I normally hate draft grades so I'll only give out one...an A+ to the NFL. On behalf of sports fans everywhere - thank you. We needed this.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
I have to admit. The promo graphic for Bills/Pats is pretty wild.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 months
Ayahuasca the grouch can go f*** himself with his phony accusations.
@jimmykimmel
Jimmy Kimmel
5 months
Dear Aasshole: for the record, I’ve not met, flown with, visited, or had any contact whatsoever with Epstein, nor will you find my name on any “list” other than the clearly-phony nonsense that soft-brained wackos like yourself can’t seem to distinguish from reality. Your reckless
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I honestly think if he stayed in shape Tyson Fury could beat either of the Paul brothers.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Tom Brady is no dummy. He’s clearly tanking to play the winner of the NFC East in the playoffs.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
Incredible drama. I’ll be very disappointed if Tiger doesn’t end up sleeping with Khaleesi.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I AM A GEEEENIUS !!!!!!
@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
This is gonna take a minute... @FOXBet
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
It appears the mayor of Las Vegas got hold of all the drink tickets before quarantine.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
How bout “speechless”?
@MagicJohnson
Earvin Magic Johnson
2 years
After the @Lakers loss to Portland tonight, I'm speechless. No words can describe how I'm feeling.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Tommy Lasorda was a legendary baseball figure who will be greatly missed. Here he is offering batting instructions to my son Jack who, two weeks later, quit little league. #RIPTommyLasorda
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
This will probably come across as unpatriotic but I think they should try to count ALL the votes.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
For those of you not watching, this ranks 237th on the list of most effed up things to happen on #TigerKing
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
When are we officially allowed to say that LeBron is the greatest we’ve ever seen? What the hell..I’ll go first.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
All sporting events should start this way.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
We should’ve known something was up when OJ took D’Andre Swift in his fantasy football draft.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
The good news is when Russia wins the World Cup a team will finally agree to pay a White House visit to @realDonaldTrump .
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
I don’t want to start any trouble here - but if it’s Chiefs/Saints we’re not witnessing the most boring first half in #SuperBowl history.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
It took years but it looks Ike Russell Westbrook is finally helping OKC advance in the playoffs.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Apparently CBS has decided that no one on the west coast will have access to the vaccine. Sad.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Congratulations to Drew Brees for setting the all-time record for TD passes without the aid of any spy cameras or Papa John’s pizza.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
GOOD JOB BY YOU!!! @BillSimmons Also, I hope you know this means you’re paying for Shakey’s in perpetuity.
@BillSimmons
Bill Simmons
4 years
This morning we announced that @spotify is acquiring The Ringer. Couldn’t be more excited to work with @eldsjal and his phenomenal team. More details to come down the road... but @ringer will remain @ringer in every respect. They appreciate what we do and they want us to be us.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
Feel for you, buddy. I keep waiting for the Celtics to get that one break that sends Boston sports in a positive direction. Just doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to happen.
@BillSimmons
Bill Simmons
5 years
Last Celtics play was supposed to be a back door screen and a lob to Morris but Middleton basically tackled him - that’s why Morris was mad after the game. Typical shit ending to a 2019 Celtics game.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
Patriots fans can be as confident as they want to be - but the look of concern on Tom Brady’s face is alarming to me.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
Crappy New Year. The great Bob Einstein - AKA Super Dave Osborne, has left us. He was a brilliant comedian & I'm proud to say a dear friend. If you want to belly laugh 100x listen to the podcast @BillSimmons & I did with him last year. #RIPFunkhouser
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
I fully support Cris Collinsworth’s decision to take up smoking this off-season.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
Look who showed up. This explains the offensive drought. #theclapper
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I, for one, think Joe Biden did a masterful job moderating the debate between Donald Trump and Chris Wallace. Looking forward to the next one. #Debates2020
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Don’t these people realize they are going to die...after I hunt each and every one of them down for costing me the 2020 NFL season?
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
I don’t even want to think about what Earl Thomas and his brother have cooked up for Mother’s Day.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
AB with 3 early catches. Such a bummer that the Patriots weren’t able to sign Osama bin Laden’s son.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
So happy for the Pats and their fans. They were due for some goal line luck. Something like this could really turn their franchise around.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
1 year
I was trying to find out if this Derrick Henry to the Eagles rumor was legit and then realized that no one has a blue check mark so it’s going to take around 3 or 4 years to confirm.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
7 years
No worries Pats fans - Coach Belichick just ordered 53 Apple watches. #PatsVsChiefs
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 months
Awww dammit- Richard Lewis was wonderful. Made me laugh all my life. Here’s one of a zillion hilarious Richard Lewis clips. #RIP
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Pretty great…
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 months
This is a big blow for the Ravens, but I still think they have a shot.
@AdamSchefter
Adam Schefter
5 months
Chiefs now officially have ruled out WR Kadarius Toney for Sunday’s AFC Championship game due to a hip injury and personal reasons.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
7 months
I just want to point out…
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Yay!!! Covid is over!!!
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Thanks, dipshits. See you in phase 87. Actually, I probably won’t. #floridabeaches
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 months
Time to bail. Thanks for nuthin, frauds.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
Arizona/Virginia were favored by a combined 30 points...lost by a combined 41 points. I now have a combined $3 in my savings account.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
9 months
. @BillSimmons ’s appearance at our weekly podcast is currently listed as a game-time decision.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
I’ll never question Jason Garrett’s play-calling again. So far he’s been able to put up a whole 7 points using merely the best offensive players the NFC has to offer.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
So...in conclusion... the Saints miss Michael Thomas the Texans miss DeAndre Hopkins the Broncos miss Von Miller and Kirk Cousins misses everyone always
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Dynamite work here by my son Harrison. Fingers!! Take that Pythagoras!
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
Kudos to the Chargers. It had been a whole 6 days since they invented a new way to lose.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
48 seconds?!?! Jameis is a godsend!!! Now I can go shopping. #gambling @BillSimmons
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
1 year
Ladies and gentlemen…the next head coach of the Arizona Cardinals.
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@JohnnyVenerable
Johnny Venerable
1 year
Kyler Murray will have input on the next head coach of the Arizona Cardinals, per Michael Bidwill.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Wow @ClayTravis . Absolute stunner the way this poll turned out. Just when you think you know your audience.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
The Patriots scored zero points in the second half of a playoff game in Foxboro. Let that sink in for a minute. #deaddynasty
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
Wait so does this mean the Saints get to play in the Super Bowl?
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 years
Why did CBS cut away from the fan running on the field? What if it was a healthcare worker trying to give out vaccines? So short-sighted.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 months
I feel terrible for Lions fans but the truth is Dan Campbell wouldn’t last 40 minutes in Vegas.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Not sure if the big guy in the blue jacket is up for practical jokes but we could have A LOT of fun sending him to ex-players houses but just to deliver pizza.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
3 months
Ohtani: Crap. Virginia hasn’t scored in an hour and a half. Hey - you mind taking the fall for me in a nationwide gambling scandal? Ippei: Yes of course. I’d be happy to.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
What’s the point of reviewing touchdowns that occur against the Patriots anymore? We get it...nothing counts.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
BREAKING: Just-released video of @jharrison9292 latest attempted manslaughter!! Fun!! @NFLonFOX
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
GOAT #3030
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
The entire Lions team singing Billie Jean along with Aidan Hutchinson is a top 10 all-time #HardKnocks moment.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
1 year
I’ve defended officiating as much as a person who bet the Bengals two weeks ago and the Chiefs tonight possibly can. The refs just ruined the end of a classic Super Bowl.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
Kudos to whatever genius at NBC decided to make the down and yardage graphic yellow. Your brain convinces you that there’s a penalty on every play.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Football isn’t officially back until there’s a beyond awful game-changing call. Well done, officials.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
6 years
Not sure what’s worse...Mike McCarthy only having 1 timeout at the end of the game...or Mike McCarthy choosing to punt on 4th and 2 knowing he only had 1 timeout at the end of the game.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
9 months
Hey @BillSimmons - can Jrue play QB?
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
5 years
I cannot believe that no call. Absolutely atrocious.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
4 years
Heads up, DT. Atlanta may not be done blowing huge leads.
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@TheCousinSal
Cousin Sal
2 years
Hamm telling Eli and Peyton about our fantasy kick-out rule is so many levels beyond surreal that I’ve totally forgotten about my Rams/over teaser.
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