The Judgmental Dog
@the_addressor
Followers
1,581
Following
278
Media
56
Statuses
8,167
Woof. Follow for more woof. Dogs make noise sometimes. Before making a case about it, remember you're arguing with a dog.
Joined February 2021
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Pinned Tweet
I was looking for something on an old phone, and this little dude greeted me on my lock screen.
Elvis, half pom/corgi. He was as happy as he looks in this picture, and I had many great years with him until liver failure stole him in a flash. I miss this cheerful little…
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@cctvidiots
every time I'm ready to quit the internet in disgust, someone shows me the greatest thing ever
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@iamyesyouareno
I can't tell if this will increase or decrease his chances of being accepted to Harvard
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@lporiginalg
I understand, some people struggle with difficult mathematical concepts like denominators
It's the kind of thing that happens when you drop out before the second grade
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@iamyesyouareno
If you feel oppressed but can't say how, you're not oppressed
You're just particularly bad at what you do and want to blame someone else for it
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@lporiginalg
to be fair, that means four of these ladies could weigh 120, but they're offset by a girl that weighs 370 and really tilts the average
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@libsoftiktok
@4Jschools
I wouldn't feel comfortable even asking a full grown adult to do this
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@libsoftiktok
Like I get pretending to be rich or something
But I never pretend to be having a period
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@DelusionPosting
She's right about cars. Those are actually harvested, using car growing agricultural skills originating from the Tupi tribe.
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@DelusionPosting
I stand corrected; I'll let the Taiwanese, Koreans, Chinese, and Vietnamese know that the Japanese don't have a long history of being colonizers
They'll be relieved to hear it
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@DelusionPosting
So, I love doritos, can't get enough of them
I'm grossed out when I find a dick at the bottom becuase I didn't want dick, I want doritos
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@WomenPostingLs
When you're heartbroken, do you normally photograph yourself from different angles and stages of grief
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@EndWokeness
"leave little children alone" is the least controversial message I've ever seen
It's concerning to be on the side of people who don't agree with it, really
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@reddit_lies
I went on a date with this girl that complained all night about 28 other dudes she dated so I tried to change the subject to anime and dinosaurs
And she had like 400 photos of her cats
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@DelusionPosting
And yet JK Rowling is still worth a billion dollars and you had to buy that book to vandalize it
You really showed her
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@WomenPostingLs
I don't have to, the continued agony of your own existence is worse than anything I can do
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@iamyesyouareno
You let the cattle have their own national anthem at the Super Bowl is the answer to that question
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@DelusionPosting
I'm sure having a hot pockets smoothie between each of her five meals doesn't contribute to that girth
She defies physics, I guess
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@DelusionPosting
I guess now's as good a time for this confession
I like big butts and I cannot lie
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@ClownWorld_
To be fair, we only do this because we know it's annoying
It's the best part of being a guy
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@lporiginalg
Gross. That's gross, dude. Just work on being normal, that's your one goal for this week
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@libsoftiktok
That's a thing? Where can I sign up for the white discount? Or do I need the white promo code?
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@lporiginalg
Everybody needs one close friend that's honest enough to tell you what you're doing is a horrible, irreversible idea
I don't think she ever had one
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@DudespostingWs
I want you to know these are manly tears brought on by people being awesome, not the other kind
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@DelusionPosting
The future of black representation should represent actual blacks
Why is this hard
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@OliLondonTV
Misgendering is not hate speech
It's a final act of mercy to try and snap some very confused people back into dealing with reality on reality's terms
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@ClownWorld_
This is like how the criminals act in movies but you don't believe it because it's too cartoony
But here we are
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@DelusionPosting
When the designers make that decision, they'll let you know
Until then, realize the rest of society hates you for trying to rewrite every character in history as your personal depravity of the week
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@iamyesyouareno
At least she destroyed her own stuff instead of a Waffle House like she normally would
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@iamyesyouareno
It's like the walking dead except your government thinks the zombies deserve more rights than you do and call you racist if you disagree
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@HelpingChads
I was thinking of calling people names on Twitter all day but now I'm thinking of appreciating life instead
But maybe there's time for both
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@reddit_lies
Employers are concerned when you have like a three year gap of unemployment or you've had like 41 jobs in five years
Just saying
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@lporiginalg
She'll be crying loudly and publicly when she's tossed out the front door, with her possessions following shortly after
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@ClownWorld_
This chick: I'm begging you, pay attention to me
Also this chick: oh my god why is everyone paying attention to me
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@iamyesyouareno
"da court"
When your English is so poor, Google asks if you want to translate it to English
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@iamyesyouareno
I had the same professional expectations for everyone regardless of race
Then that suddenly became racist
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@ShitpostGate
When ninjago was originally released in 1983, the average small set cost around 11 dollars
adjusted for inflation, that same set would cost 146,441 dollars today
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@reddit_lies
All relevant data confirms your average redditor hasn't been bullied nearly enough
We've really got to get these numbers up
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@WomenPostingLs
I saw a guy do a U-turn right in front of the sign that emphatically prohibits it
That should be physically impossible
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@DelusionPosting
My favorite posts come from people two semesters into college that don't understand any of the words they're saying
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@lporiginalg
Can I have my phone just in case my mom calls? She's been sick lately
No? That's cool, figured I'd ask
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@OliLondonTV
I wish I could have helped her write that "apology" letter
"I'm sorry that I live in a society that places the deviant desires of men above the safety of women, and compels belief by punishment until compliance"
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@DudespostingWs
I know full grown men that wouldn't survive this because just being away from their phone for 45 minutes would trigger a fatal anxiety attack
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@lporiginalg
plenty of dudes that would get on board with those offerings
they might be under 6'2", not shredded, or making a lowly six figures though, so I don't think you'd be interested, miss
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@ClownWorld_
Yeah, that's assault
That's the kind of thing your father teaches you not to do
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@DudespostingWs
That implies that there is a proper time and will give his child the proper emotional outlet when it's appropriate as well
This man is perfect
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@DelusionPosting
Setting other people's things on fire does seem to favor a particular demographic
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@DC_Draino
Frankly, covering the double lines is a hazard to begin with
It's like people think traffic safety is a big joke around here
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@DudespostingWs
I'm going to say something crazy, but bear with me
Did you try telling him why you're upset instead of making him guess?
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@WomenPostingLs
We're so competitive in this country that we turned getting diabetes into a race
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@iamyesyouareno
Do you have any idea how much it takes to get the Japanese to become impolite?
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@iamyesyouareno
But I thought they invented food 5,000 years before the rest of the world
How could they possibly be starving
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@iamyesyouareno
When I think of Sweden, I've historically pictured tall blondes
I won't pretend I'm not disappointed
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@DelusionPosting
If they wanted you to know a character is trans, they'd tell you
The entertainment business isn't shy about expressing their progressive "virtue"
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@reddit_lies
I think we've reached a new level of narcissism and persecution envy not yet defined by modern science.
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@Internet_TLCM
Black god evidently cares more about transgendendered humans than the entire continent of Africa
Which is odd
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@libsoftiktok
Boys will take them to the sink, soak them in water, and launch them at the ceiling. Janitors will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns
Meanwhile, not one will ever be used for menstrual reasons because boys don't menstruate
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@DelusionPosting
That's true, the illness with a 0.66% mortality rate is still with us
I hope will still have enough chicken soup and orange juice to survive this one
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@DelusionPosting
Would it be such an inconvenience for these people to be normal for one minute of their lives?
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@DelusionPosting
I'm not white
Race swapping is pandering and insulting and this era of entertainment will not be well regarded by history
So there's that
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@ClownWorld_
Is the truck stop prostitute look the new barometer of hotness
She's a 10 in the made a lifetime of poor life decisions scale if that's what you're into
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@reddit_lies
And did she attempt to see things his way, even in the slightest? Doesn't sound like it
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@DelusionPosting
I wish we could see the look on this person's face when his father crossed this mutilated boy out of his will
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@DelusionPosting
I hear the food is great and the likelihood of running into harpies like this is very slim
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@DelusionPosting
If you're older than 12 and have an instagram account, what's it like being a virgin?
This is fun guys, feel free to keep the list going
It's as accurate as her example
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