==> David: Join Parodystuck. Your name is DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER. You are something of a HOTSHOT. You have a talent for EXPLOITS and CREATIVE ARTS. In other words, YOU'RE HIM. You have no idea how you're alive, or in your shitty old apartment. WHAT WILL YOU DO?

coughing my lungs out over a good fuckin bowl of soup god damn that shit can clear up your lungs no problem

anyone know the right time to jettison a chrirstmas tree into the sun?

just woke up in cold sweats apparently it might drop below 50 tonight gonna go heat up some left overs

anyone else's bones just kind of ache sometimes? like that shits a bridge built wrong and too many cars drove over that shit recently you get me dawg?

sometimes life is just fleeting moments that shift through an ever eroding grate that was worn down by all the bad choices in your life, ready to give at any moment to the endless abyss that awaits below it, that in the end will swallow all i had to get up to piss sorry pigeons.

thinking about the secret burger council position i accidentally applied to once and presumably never got totally not thinking about it because im thinking about a council of pigeons which im totally not thinking of because ive gotten up and am in my apartment yeah dude

sometimes the only thing to wake you up is when theres like three pigeons sitting on your stomach because you fell alseep on your roof like a dipshit why is it almost 2

happy new years everyone just remember you all leave an impact on someone

hour left before the new year rolls round sittin on the roof just lookin down below at the streets

-> End of 2425.

-> yeah man i thought id give everyone their favorite christmas gift, more me time and said that for all of christmas id make at least two full posts for each gimmick i was sent that day two posts meaning the actual post and at least one reply jsyk dawg https://t.co/QVe1wfjET8

honestly ill be real i expected "i fell for your ranting" anon to take advantage of that "i'll rant extra long" thing i did a few days ago to get me to rant about a bunch of shit and they didn't call me basic but i dunno i feel a bit confused by that shit im just a simple man

getting my ass beat by this fuckin sickness like its a game of tennis and everyone has new bats so theyre swinging as hard as they can and the referee cant hear me askin for it to stop because hes too busy making out with one of the audience members

heh

Some things about that guy I'm never going to understand. ==> Merry Christmas, bro. Miss you.

"i dont actually hate seagulls they just piss me off real bad,,," -> yeah again fair enough sorry i dont got a whole lot to say about this cause its about as neutral as shit gets dudemire https://t.co/QVe1wfkcIG

-> honestly yeah id agree flying little bastards that have no sense of humility like bro these are my fries buzz the fuck off i getcha dawgseph https://t.co/QVe1wfkcIG

"what do u think about um um um owls" -> weird little guys honestly wish my neck could do that thatd just be fun to see peoples reaction to anyway no real strong opinion there so thats a solid 7 out of ten from me dawgseph https://t.co/QVe1wfkcIG

-> yeah honestly pigeons deserve that i think its kind of fucked up that humans needed pigeons just to treat them like rats the second humans didnt need them anymore like damn dude thats just harsh whatd that poor pigeon do to you besides help https://t.co/QVe1wfkcIG

crows are just kind of okay i dunno there used to be some crows that lived in the area but i think they migrated or some shit that was like decades ago though anyway check out this fuckin pigeon man this shit slaps harder than someone who hid a horseshoe in their boxing glove yk?