i am the only non annoying reply guy

getting fingered by a tradie call that manual labour

that's not very spongebob big guy pants okay of you

I would love to introduce every man that has unfortunately ever crossed paths with me to the concept of Theory of Mind but it’s their journey to self actualization they’re on. Not mine.

in chemist warehouse contemplating the horrors

giving up on having dietaries

a watched plate never microwaves

can I come over and ***** **** ** *** *** **** ******

same girl

when my parents ask how job applications are going

You ever play uno with people who love you

should I wash my hair or should I kill myself

writing cover letters feels soooo "ever since i was a little boy, i knew i wanted to be an administrative assistant when i grew up"

I don't get why the moon fucks with my sleep when I love her so much

sorry for displaying emotion am I still fuckable

My spiritual adviser

in a car with a gay man so you know I'm being subjected to some of the worst music imaginable

all t shirts become bed t shirts eventually. and there's something really beautiful in that

rather than applying to any jobs today I have instead mocked up the design for my next manicure

girl next to me on the plane has a book called 'find your sparkle: embracing the magic of life' which is some shit my mum would have tried giving me when I was a suicidal teenager

why is the medium sudoku lowkey harder than the hard sudoku