Ok, kids. Remember to wear sunscreen this summer and if you must show your skin to the sun between 10:00 and 15:00, no more than 15 minutes per side like a good rotisserie chicken, ok? Luv, Mum.

Why cannot tag you, @BatcatCA?

Frönd!!!

Feeling everything right now

Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

In case you’re wondering how big the drill bit is that @PaikinAndEggs just asked if I’ve seen, it’s - and I quote - “big, fuck off poes” big.

Cereal is just breakfast soup. I will be taking no further questions at this time.

In case anyone was wondering if emails are evil

Best koeksisters I’ve EVER tasted (in Joburg) at Kismet Polofields. 🤤🤤🤤

@tamwithaWhy @oldladypanties A nun walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the wrong place?"

The inventor of the keyboard walks into a bar. The bartender says “why the long space?”

I, too, am a professional crastinator 😌

Meaning

Sitting on a cold toilet seat: 😫 Sitting on a warm toilet seat: 😫

I miss @PhaikinAndEggs 🥺

Dear people who say “it was in the last place I looked!” Why… um… why would there be any other place?

Me, wearing what I packed for a quick overnight trip

Nighttime: Shining your torch into the darkness: .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

I miss the times when the biggest controversy was whether the dress was black and blue or gold and white

*wine tasting* Mr. Platter: notes of cranberry and toasted wild peppercorns. Seven and a half stars. Me: notes of bad decisions and morning after regrets. 10/10 would recommend.