Taffy Brodesser-Akner
@taffyakner
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Taylor Swift bureau chief of the New York Times. Call with tips: 719-266-2837
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Pinned Tweet
And...the first official LONG ISLAND COMPROMISE review is in and it's
@PublishersWkly
and it's ***starred*** and and and and I'm so happy/relieved!
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She talks to him the way I talk to my children when I'm angry but someone is watching
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I wish there was no period between election day and inauguration, and every sitting president had to have their bags packed on election night like it was an episode of The Bachelor.
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All I’m saying is that when I risk prison to bribe my kids’ way into college, it won’t be USC
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Today, I am honored to be celebrating my son's bar mitzvah at the Waldorf Astoria Auto Body + Repair in Mahwah. Reception to follow at the Plaza Fishing Supply on Route 9.
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I was going through a spell of depression—too much exposure to the misery of this world—when I started interviewing
@tomhanks
; I'm not anymore. Did you know that celebrity profiles can heal you?
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it is utterly bizarre to hear someone say normal things
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We would all do well to enroll in Chelsea Clinton's cheerful shade academy. Cheerful shade is the best of the shades.
Good morning Mr. President. It would never have occurred to my mother or my father to ask me. Were you giving our country away? Hoping not.
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I love that
@jaketapper
will not let go of the fact that we have no idea when the president tested positive.
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I left my leave of absence to write about Val Kilmer, the movie hunk weirdo Batman body with a Mark Twain head who disappeared years ago but was hiding in plain sight. So, after five years of chasing this down, I give you: The Iceman Come Backeth:
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Here's the thing I think about opinions, and I was taught it very young. When the anti-Semite says, "The Jew is a pig," the Jew wants to respond, "I'm not a pig. A pig has hooves, whereas I have hands and feet. A pig has a snout, whereas I have a nose. See? Not a pig!"
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Lit all four menorahs tonight to drive out the darkness, but I’m still sad and scared. Attacks on Orthodox Jews are attacks on all of us, and not figuratively. They just go for the ones who are visibly Jewish first.
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The fight isn't fair. It is not my obligation to be reasonable in the face of it. Hatred dressed up as opinion is not something I have to withstand. HATEFUL IDIOT WANTS TO INVADE OWN COUNTRY is a great headline for a news story, and should be reported with some horror.
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After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
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yes but who will prosecute the courtroom sketch artist?
Prosecutors drop DWI and reckless driving charges against Bruce Springsteen
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Am very sad to report that it appears that the graying pattern in my hair is not Susan Sontag, as I had hoped, but Paulie Walnuts, as I had dreaded.
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who would listen to my podcast "writing a fucking book right now" that would talk to another author every week about writing a fucking book right now
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pretty big talk for a guy who was online only
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I love working at the Times and most days of the week I'm very proud to be part of its mission. But tonight, I understand the people who treat me like I work at a tobacco company. I stand with my colleagues.
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My favorite Gwyneth answers are "I invented that." She told me that people do yoga now because she did it in the early 90s. But this one, a combo of "I invented masks" and also "I had COVID first" is a masterpiece, and I doff my vaginal egg in admiration.
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Instead, the right thing to do is not to allow the anti-Semite to be comfortable telling me his opinion, not o give him space to say them, because those arguments — that I have hands/feet and a nose — do not really address what the anti-Semite is saying.
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Strike
@goop
down and it will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. My story on it, its blazing success, and its founder, the Gwyneth of your discontent (diss content):
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wish the people who are griping about losing followers this week would instead be more embarrassed that so many nazis were following them!
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This was the most surreal moment of my life and I hadn’t even realized that the person who cheered for me and offered me a pen to sign the book was actual Monica Lewinsky!
just witnessed a sometimes-the-world-is-ok moment!
@taffyakner
encountering a fan reading her new book
#FleishmanIsInTrouble
on the subway! both excited to meet each other.
#AnAwwwwMoment
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I am so proud (and so terrified) to announce that you will be able to watch FX's FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE on Nov. 17 on Hulu. Here's our poster!
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I spent so much of my youth wondering why Jews didn't leave Germany at the first sign, and I spent tonight eating pasta in the Village.
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I would really like to thank the brave men (all 14 of you!) who have come forward to point out the "repetitive sentence typo" about her apron/cooking in my GP story, which could not have been there for emphasis. So relieved you're all there to catch me. Truly. *Thank you.*
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you read it wrong, let me fix this tweet for you: Ellen Pompeo gets a large amount of money for knowing that she is one of the last people to bring eyeballs to a network drama. Here, she gives an interview about that.
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Utterly devastating. This isn't what I thought it would be, and I am gobsmacked. There's some very good magazine writing come out this week and it is all bringing me down.
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Here is my earned writer wisdom on my 43rd birthday: Confidence doesn't mean you think you're great; it's the realization that you're just like everyone else, and therefore every thought you have is valid and earned.
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The Lord hath sent me
@Olivianuzzi
's Giuliani story as a test of my commitment to not running afoul New York Times tweeting standards and I am determined to pass this test. But also, I am not sure why it's taking you clowns so long to come up with Jewliani.
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All I want is to go into a pizzeria and have a slice and a diet coke from the fountain. I want world peace and the end of the pandemic and restoration of the economy, too. But also I want to go into a pizzeria and have a slice and a diet coke from the fountain.
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I sent this news to my son, who texted back, "Well, he is unbreakable." My son's bar mitzvah isn't till next week, but I think I'm gonna call it early: Today he is a man.
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Tweeting this out as a public service to my followers because I am asked if I know
@minakimes
more than I'm asked about literally any other person in journalism.
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I want to believe in anything the way JLo believes in marriage.
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I reached out to Tom Hanks to see how he was doing, but, determined to be the only person showing sound leadership in this crisis, he didn't want to talk on the record because he's wary of spreading misinformation or false hope or dread. So we did the (far) next best thing: 1/3
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My long-awaited statement on today's media kerfuffle is as follows: Journalists. The hours are terrible and the pay is shit, but at least everyone hates us!
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@JustinWStapley
Great point. Also, if my grandmother had had testicles she would have been my grandfather.
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OK I just went onto the King Arthur flour website and had to click a "this site uses cookies" thing and reader, I laughed
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LOL to all the "how to work from home without going insane" stories. Take it from someone who works from home: We knew that already. We still didn't do it. That's why we're insane. You won't do better than we did.
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In 2005, female employees of Sterling Jeweler (parent co of Kay Jewelers, Jared, etc.) filed a lawsuit alleging sex discrimination in pay/promotions. 14 years later, the suit is unresolved, and most of its details are secret. But why? My
@NYTmag
story:
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i cannot move on with my day until this is resolved and Tux is back home and all of us are back to using yellow taxis
@AskLyft
My Lyft driver drove off with my pet cat still in the car.
I was taking my cat to a vet appointment, I was sitting behind the driver and had the cat carrier on the floor of the passenger side back seat.
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A reminder that Adele's weight loss means nothing about you, about the culture, about anything (this coming from a celebrity profiler, mind you), and that thinking that it contains any significance at all is another way we seek to control women's bodies.
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I wrote about Margot Kidder for
@NYTmag
's Lives They Lived, and how we can never really know a person. My warm thanks to her daughter, Maggie McGuane, for speaking with me.
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I have a photo shoot tomorrow so I did a really strict cleanse today where I only ate bread and salted butter and drank coffee and then had five bowls of cereal.
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The first cup of coffee is so good that it encourages the second cup, but the second cup is always bad. Why??
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Ruth Baby Ginsberg wins Halloween, so stop trying. (h/t
@NaamaHaviv
)
http://t.co/T9ETbhL025
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holy shit.
Greta Thunberg speaks at the UN climate summit: "You all come to us young people for hope? How dare you!"
Read more:
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You know what? Screw Field of Dreams. I watched it w/ my kids last night and cannot tell you how much unfettered father/son romance bullshit I was subjected to as a girl. The wife as accessory for his middle aged ambivalence. Meanwhile, no one wants to watch Little Women.
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It’s still insane to me, knowing how corrupt New Jersey is, that a state trooper pulled over Bruce Springsteen, saw it was Bruce Springsteen, and still gave him a ticket.
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11-year old wants to tell me about a new show that's on called SEINFELD
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I traveled this emotionally constipated country all summer long with Marianne Williamson on her love platform, and girlfriend, here is the story:
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2019: I didn't write as many stories as I've done in the past, which I have some feelings about. But I wrote my first investigative piece, my first political profile, I PUBLISHED A FREAKING NOVEL and I cried in front of Tom Hanks. So all in all, a good year in these End of Days.
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Well, it's over! The people who made FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE thank you all for watching, for your participation, for your tweets. Here are a few episode notes:
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I really try not to make it a habit to criticize other journalists, but: Having your fact-checker make first contact with someone whose life will be ruined (or even changed, which is always) when you publish your story is the lowest form of this there is.
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How there's no pub called Bar Mitzvah is beyond me
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You are all too depressed to read my Melissa McCarthy profile, but that’s exactly why you should.
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You're welcome, Gen X.
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I can't get over how it played out last night — how we received the information the way the kids did, and how the episode was hijacked with the chaos of finding out news like that. I'll miss this show and how creative and original it is, and how highly it thinks of its viewers.
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Fleishman is In Pre-Production
based on taffy brodesser-akner’s novel, “fleishman is in trouble” will be a 9-episode limited series that takes a modern approach to life, love, & commitment. produced by
@taffyakner
, sarah timberman, carl beverly and susannah grant, it will be available exclusively on
#FXonHulu
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So I was about to watch the Starz sex cult thing but the TV was on CNN from the debate and I can't turn away from this
@jaketapper
special on former WH officials talking about the virus response. They turned Fauci & Birx away from briefings!
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Guys! My amazing colleagues
@nytimes
published a list of the best deals you can get on Prime Day. Read this before shopping:
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An oral history of people announcing their divorces to the public before they tell their spouses.
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It is unbearable to watch observant Jews come online and absorb the news.
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Can't stop thinking about "We love you. You're special."
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If you’re the chairwoman of anything, you’re not a housewife. That’s not how housewifery works.
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It’s been a long time coming.
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The truth is, I'm not sure any kind of apology would ameliorate crimes as heinous as harassment or assault, no matter how carefully worded. There is no apology that makes a woman unharassed or unassaulted and it's a uniquely male thing to think there can be.
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Turns out the celebrity profile is *not* dead but some people very much wish it were. Please enjoy my story about Bradley Cooper, who made a movie of art and truth and beauty that he will just not explain to me.
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Not a political tweet, but I can't stop thinking of how Sen. Warren stepped in to stop Mayor Pete's pounding of Sen. Klobuchar.
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Is this what it's like to watch/care about sports? If so, why would you ever do it on purpose?
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Tonya Harding did not enjoy your recent feminist think piece about her. My, Tonya profile is up now
@nytimesarts
:
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There is a rule taught in journalism schools that you can only write one cruise story and you can only write one Gwyneth story. I am lucky to have done both (therefore fulfilling my life’s mission), so someone please do this. I walked so that you can run, etc. etc.
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Just in: Early exit polls show I should have taken a Xanax.
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swen lanosrep emos
‘Fleishman Is In Trouble’ Limited Series Based On Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s Novel In Works At FX & ABC Signature Studios
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Some poisenal news
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where I'm at: Just wrote "glass part of the wall" before realizing that the word is "window"
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please respond below with your suggested plotline that explains Samantha's absence
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A Black woman in the White House. Her Jewish husband on her arm. From two Wednesdays ago to now has been a ROLLERCOASTER.
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I was privileged to write about Luke Perry, who we can appreciate even if we can't ever know.
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Here is the thing. Is cocaine real? I've never seen it. I've only heard about it.
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You can get so counted out that getting counted out becomes your thing. My profile of Ethan Hawke is up, and today is the day/this thread is the repository for all your Ethan Hawke emotions:
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Some personal news: I'm not dating Tom Hiddleston, but if you get to, you're very lucky. My Hiddlestory is here
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I rewatched thirtysomething in hopes (get it?) of discovering how it influenced me as a married person. But as I watched, it was not my marriage I was thinking of at all. Tuck in your Princeton sweatshirt and take a read. For
@nytimesarts
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They're not really accessories, if you think about it. More like people? Women? It's all in the eyes of the interpreter, I guess lol
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Er, it was a yellow star, not a gold one. Not so much marked for merit as annihilation. But other than that this is a totally great analogy!
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I am just thrilled for FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE's seven (!!!!) Emmy nominations, including: Limited Series, Actress (Lizzy!), Supporting Actress (Claire!), Directing (Jon and Val!), Costumes (Leah, et al!), Casting (Laura and Jodi!) and Writing.
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