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@tacobort

Followers
13K
Following
750K
Media
5K
Statuses
63K

Anger prisoner, unmitigated madman, Faust-freak

under investigation
Joined October 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@tacobort
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@tacobort
4 years
Average Jeep Renegade driver
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@tacobort
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@tacobort
16 hours
I have more courage in one dribble of my cum than in one bullet or bullets of your gun and guns I think.
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@tacobort
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16 hours
“Are you pulling up later” heh. Yeah maybe my pants after I just peed after I just pissed a lot.
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@tacobort
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@tacobort
16 hours
Did you know that there are 30 days left.
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16 hours
Saying “watch this” then disemboweling myself with a chainsaw at Home Depot.
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@tacobort
17 hours
RT @felxbr: almost perfect, brad bird has that sauce
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@tacobort
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@tacobort
2 days
Going out in the rain to do this
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2 days
I lost my anterograde memory in the divorce.
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2 days
No no it’s fine I just don’t think it’s worth cumming over.
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2 days
The great Powerade bottle at the center of the universe.
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2 days
Sometimes you don’t know you’re the source until you get a slurp of your own juice.
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2 days
In a cruel twist of fate, my penis is hard.
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2 days
I wish all four corners of my fitted sheet would come off simultaneously in the night and cocoon me.
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@tacobort
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3 days
Yes babe I know it’s small and your ass is fat…but. well…. do you remember David and Goliath?.
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@tacobort
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3 days
When it leaks, it cums.
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3 days
The Cia 👀👁️.
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3 days
Two balls. One for each barrel of this shotgun.
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3 days
Gonna start using prophetic tense when making plans with friends. “It was so fun getting Taco Bell with everyone”.
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3 days
My penis is protected by multi-factor authentication.
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3 days
RT @zoeelizabethjpg: COLLATERAL (Mann, 2004).
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3 days
RT @BalloonFlavour: (during sex) babe did you just initiate ghost protocol?.
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