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@substitutedaddy
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chinese restaurant i frequent just called me cuz they made an off-the-menu item they want me to try 😭
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THE HAT CANT BE REAL
Outside Mar-a-Lago, a concerned citizen wants to know why the FBI isn’t doing anything about Hillary’s emails or Hunter’s laptop.
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professor: I hope everyone has been taking notes because this will be on your next exam
my notes:
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this being her first movie ever too like…
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idk about the interviewer but it’s not anyone’s place to judge how miranda’s telling the story btw everyone processes and talks about traumatic events they’ve experienced differently
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bed bath & beyond cashier: i'm sorry ma'am it appears this coupon's expire-
any white woman:
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Girls Locker room: Ugh PE is the worst
Boys locker room:
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i love that the editors refused to have one continuous shot for longer than a second
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white people dont know what a bay leaf is
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@officialsamksha
no foreal!! i can only imagine how long it might’ve taken to process everything, i hope everyone respects that she can speak on it now however she sees fit
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professor: don't wait until the night before to read the book!
me, the night before:
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@toomanybrooks
they literally called me cuz they said the weather’s been making everybody sick so they thought of my family 😭😭😭
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As I lay in my bed contemplating the questionable choices made in the past few days, I began to wonder: was I really like TT? just like TT?
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this happened the other day at a taco truck i wanted to cry
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me when im drunk with family vs. me when im drunk with friends
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girls who can fight always have the ringtone where the light flashes
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me and my friends trying to figure out when everyone's free
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me submitting my essay 30 seconds before the deadline
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me to my maid of honor: hey maid. i see you got your maid outfit on like you always do
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hey
@UrbanOutfitters
four of your employees called me a broke ass bitch and kicked me out of your store,this is them
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adding subliminal messages in my keysmashes like AGJSHASHOWPITSJD
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RT if the dog on the right is just as beautiful as the dog on the left
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GUSIBSJSJSKAJDJANDKSKFKSK
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when the Snapchat filter starts playing music out loud
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me trying to talk back to the dentist during my cleaning
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☀️ sign ranking:
1. Taurus
2. Libra
3. Virgo
4. Gemini
5. Aquarius
6. Aries
7. Capricorn
8. Pisces
9. Sagittarius
10. Cancer
11. Scorpio
12. Leo
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how i look at twitter knowing i have a ten page essay due in two hours
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texas has so many legends when you think about it. beyoncé, selena, asmrthechew,
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