Sometimes I'll think "oh my ex and I used to do that" and then I get sad for the rest of the porno

Every non-CEO American on September 4, 2025

This Armenian Brandy is the answer to "What tastes like sugar covered gym shoes?"

I'm drinking an Armenian Brandy that takes like the answer to: what if shoelaces were sweet?

What do you think they're saying

MRW that sloppy toppy is extra sloppy

My friend Isaac just told me, "we're at an all time high for autistic awareness, which isn't a very autistic thing to be."

What they saying?

Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away, this year to save me from years I'll give it to someone who understands the inescapable pull of capitalism and how it's destroying our humanity

My top 3 songs on Spotify: 1 Rain and Thunder Sounds 2 Thunderstorm Sounds 3 Sky Water & Electricity Sounds

Worst island ever #TonyHinchcliffe

Autism Jokes is in the @nycomedyfest at Comedy Village NYC on 11/17. Party at 4 and Show at 6. Tickets are selling faster than a New Yorker on a sidewalk. #nycomedyfest

I finally learned what #1direction is #liampayne #toosoon

Y should u have known u were autism?

what's your wildest experience sharing with someone that you're on the autism spectrum? #autismawareness #neurodiversity

When your mom thinks you’re worried about the storm, but you're more concerned about… other plans 💸😅 #Hurricane #mom #Comedytiktok #StormPrep

I like to say weird things to strangers at airports and you should, too!

This is a sign of early onset dementia. They always ask them "who is the president?"

Her: Babe do you need to eat? Me: No, I've got stuff to eat at home. The stuff I've got to eat at home:

I had sex with a black chick and you have no idea how wild it was, the only thing I could possibly compare it to would be sex with any chick. Sex with chicks is great.

What's your favorite part of sex and why isn't it when I blow bubbles on your belly?