A showdown between the world's most clueless detective and most sophisticated AI. The worlds first novel for Twitter, now revised and on sale in pocket paperback. https://t.co/F6AZKqsxn7 #fiction #NOIR #scifi #darkhumor #humor #TweetNovel

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by minimum wage stoners reading messages from tea leaves and riffing until they can type.

Alice and Katniss broke into the rusting storm shelter outside Chicago to escape the radioactive storm. Katniss moaned, “We’ve survived mutant creatures, zombies, and cannibals. Can it get worse?” Alice pointed out the window, “ICE zombies led by Stephen Miller clones.” #TwtStor

Mel Gibson never dreamed he’d step into his Mad Max character for real. He floored his 1973 Ford Falcon XB GT and mowed down the cannibals. Then he rolled into a gas station. $250 a gallon. Great. The world’s powers wiped the slate clean and Jews still ran everything. #TwtStory

Sheriff Juliette woke in her cryonic capsule. She rose and prepped the others for wakening. They’d slept for a millennium, until the radiation levels declined. “Computer, what’s the date?” “May 13, 2027.” “That’s one day after the bombs dropped.” “Y2K error in the code.” #Twt

Ken and Barbie hid behind the battlement as the dread cannibal biker horde swarmed their camp. The roar of engines deafened them. Ken shouted, “Where’s Mel Gibson when you need him? Or Milla Jovovich?” Barbie sputtered, “Hollywood.” “So?” “That’s who Trump nuked first.” #TwtSt

Brandon surveyed the landscape of Las Vegas, its casinos and skyscrapers crumbling to dust. The sand shook under his feet. Zombies. A horde of fucking zombies jonesing for brains. He tossed his rifle and left the story. The world didn’t need more goddam zombie fiction. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Post-apocalyptic tales

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

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Preacher Jeff told his congregants to separate themselves from others because only the pure would enter the kingdom of heaven. But when he discovered heaven was filled with other faiths but not members of his, he demanded St. Peter explain. St Peter said, “God doesn’t segregate.”

Amir followed every precept of Hinduism to free himself from samsara and enter nirvana. He meditated into a state of self-awareness, only to become even more self-aware when reincarnated as a roach. He asked Shiva why, and Shiva said, “You weren’t aware it’s your karma to fail.”

Timmy’s mother reminded him she needed him to clean his room and set the table for guests. “God helps those who help themselves,” he said. She informed him that wasn’t in the Bible, but if he didn’t get off his ass he could help himself move out and find his own place to live.

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are supplied by people who post on Reddit about the Deep State and Dark Web about the divinity of Trump and his cruel treatment by the courts.

Charles told God that he would leave his job and free-lance preach full time if only he made it rain. The next day the rain poured. When his wife kicked him out a year later, he protested, “but the sign.” To which she replied, “Some sign. They predicted that hurricane all week.”

Pastor Ralph confessed to the congregation that he was sleeping with his 18-year-old intern Kyle. “But I know God forgives me.” His wife and Kylie’s parents, however, did not forgive him. Nor did the police who informed him Kylie was 16 and lied on her application. Due diligence.

After the kids scared each other shitless telling horror stories around the campfire on the beach shore, they retired to their tents. But first they checked for hidden serial killers and predatory beasts. They never thought to look up where the mother ship was hovering. Waiting.

Gary said he could tackle any wave even one in a hurricane. The wave crested at 97 feet. At his funeral his mother thought the board as a headstone was tacky especially with the crack where it hit his head. His wife Jean said, “It proves his head was thicker than the board.”

The kids buried their father Bob in sand at the beach. Alice packed it tight. On the way home Cindy said, “we forgot daddy.” Alice said, “We’ll see him later.” She pulled into the driveway. “We’re home.” Tim said, “Does daddy know we moved?” “Maybe we’ll see him a lot later.”

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are supplied by people who post on Reddit about the Deep State and Dark Web while looking for someone to love them.