When I drop off dry cleaning and order Chinese food its like ok I’m Jerry Seinfeld

Did you grow up in a Cheez Doodles or Cheetos household?

What if I moved to Roosevelt Island as a bit?

Zoey 101 PCA boarding school > Hogwarts

Why do courtroom sketches have to look like this?

This morning @stephanieerice and I spent a whole 5 minutes at our polling place to vote. The polls are open until 9pm in NY today #VOTE

Bring back Rock of Love you cowards.

“You forgot to pack underwear when we went to DC after 9/11” - my mom Yes, reader this was just thrown in my face after 19 years and I was 7 at the time.

Dads LOVE backing into a parking spot

To clarify I cannot afford either

Should I sign up for HBO Max or buy a car?

My biggest takeaway from folklore is that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have a daughter named Inez wbu

Pet: Namesake:

The cops can't stop killing Black people even when the entire world is paying attention. This is them on their best behavior.

BREAKING: In historic vote NYS Senate passes #Repeal50A by a vote of 40-22. #SaferNYAct

LET THESE PPL OFF THE BRIDGE @NYCMayor @NYGovCuomo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump

NORMALIZE CHANGING YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING AFTER LEARNING NEW INFORMATION. ITS OKAY. I PROMISE.

https://t.co/nZF2KqzhZP

What if I started watching Suits as a bit