https://t.co/7Qke67kJzf

To stay like this for a little longer shouldn't be a problem, right? / @memoirofblue

He’d already be making excuses if he were with anyone else. But with Shinya, he can just be, and be held. That’s why he laughs at Shinya’s question, then wraps his arms around him again, like Shinya is his safe haven. “I’m already home,” Kouki says.

https://t.co/oZjkQzSKdY

ᅠ He could picture how dystopian it would be if society stopped showing compassion—it had already begun. “I think you need to sit down,” he said. “Have my seat?” / @weavingaid ᅠ

ᅠ To be shown care often felt like nothing more than a confirmation of his own weakness. But being on the opposite side, he understood how things looked from there. Perhaps it was simply in human nature to lend a hand to another. ᅠ

/ @drowndell

ᅠ Kata-kata itu terasa pahit di lidahku sendiri. “Jika saja kita bisa menjadi sedikit saja seperti bintang di langit, mungkin lajur ini tidak akan terasa begitu terjal. “Sebab apabila mereka memang menggemari bintang tersebut, apa pun yang terjadi, mereka tidak akan pergi.” ᅠ

ᅠ Kita selalu ingin memuaskan mereka dan berusaha sekuat tenaga agar tidak mengecewakan. Kita menjadi aksesoris bagi mereka, bukan lagi seseorang dengan hak pribadi.” Ya ampun, aku mengoceh panjang lebar. “Semua usaha itu hanya akan berbalik pada kita.” Aku menjeda. ᅠ

ᅠ “Itu bukan salahmu. Siapa pun yang sudah mencicipi gemerlap panggung pasti ingin agar bisa merasakan itu selamanya. Di situlah jebakannya. “Kita ingin terus menjadi relevan dan bergantung pada penerimaan publik. ᅠ

He forces himself to pull back eventually. His face burns with deep red. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. He makes no attempt to hide, but also no attempt to explain himself. / @memoirofblue

But instead of pulling away, he curls further inward, his body folding in on itself from sheer embarrassment. He doesn’t understand why he is doing any of this. Silence hangs in the air as chaos occupies in his mind. What should he do now?

@starukou Once again, Shinya is thrown into waiting, swallowed by questions that refuse to quiet. The way Kouki has been lately unsettles him, too reminiscent of what he himself endlessly endured; the involuntary remembering—the slow stitching together of fragments from centuries past.

“Shinya!” he calls. “Shinya ….” / @memoirofblue

So he lies there, motionless; eyes half-open, unblinking, pupils still. Then, just as incomprehensibly, a wave of grief strikes him. Tears well up as he’s overwhelmed by a strange longing. He reaches out with both arms, desperately grasping for something like it is beyond reach.

ᅠ Ada beberapa sanggahan yang ingin ia utarakan atas omongan Akira barusan. Namun, Kouki akan mengambil giliran belakangan. / @un_bel0ved ᅠ

ᅠ Sebenarnya, Kouki juga begitu. Hanya saja, tatkala mereka berpisah, saat itu jualah Kouki berpikir bahwa tidak ada lagi gunanya mengatakan apa pun. Ia pun menemui mata Akira dan mengangguk. “Baiklah,” katanya. ᅠ

ᅠ Dengan segala kekurangan mereka, Kouki tidak pernah merasa direpotkan. Namun, mungkin sampai akhir pun Akira gagal memahami itu—atau Kouki-lah yang gagal membuat Akira mengerti. Ia tidak menyangka bahwa Akira memiliki banyak hal untuk dikatakan kepadanya. ᅠ

W/N:

... for they are star crossed lovers that do not belong in happily ever after. Shinya calls out again, in selfish desperation. "My love—" @starukou

... well. Maybe he's passed out of exhaustion, maybe he just hasn't eaten and on a strict diet, maybe— —maybe they were right all along, maybe this is why the universe has been trying its best to tear them apart—for they are nothing but a hurt to each other, ...