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multimedia conglomerate

@stackofbears

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Joined October 2011
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
3 years
Feeling lonely and out of place at this party. I quietly retreat to the corner, backing into a tall potted ficus. Its frond brushes gently at my shoulder. I swing at it with a decisive right hook because I think it's a bee.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
8 hours
Logged in today and saw zero posts about The Worm Intern. Do you guys think The Worm Intern was shadowbanned for being too morally ambiguous? For having no allegiances? Is this brutal world ill-prepared to reckon with a lone, guileless intern who is also a worm.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
3 days
My Boss: Hey, quick question about that sales report you sent over. Page 8 just says "Moisture"?. Me: Sorry, we had The Worm Intern do that one. The Worm Intern: Moisture 🪱.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
3 days
RT @keyofgeo: wondered why there’s no paper in the copier. turns out a bird ate the worm intern 🤦‍♂️.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
3 days
Do you think the next posting trend can be The Worm Intern? Just a funny idea I thought of, an intern who's a worm. I think I'd be happier about coming on here if I got to read some nice posts about The Worm Intern. No worries if not.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
3 days
Poisoning my husband by adding a small amount of honey to his tea every day.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
10 days
Krogh try be good guy but no understand orc woman. Krogh bring her flower but it not thoughtful enough. Ok, bring her Krogh favorite axe. She not swing it right, so Krogh show her right way, but now she say go home, no want talk. Too much pressure on Krogh.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
12 days
Everyone else in the exit row is allowed to give a verbal yes but they always make me bleat like a goat instead.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
19 days
RT @stackofbears: (first day impersonating a doctor) I need you to go home. Eat a fibrous vegetable. Forget all these nasty thoughts. A kid….
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
21 days
We've conquered the orange and taken its juice. The apple, too - its juice is ours. But still the lowborn pebble thwarts our efforts, and we know not yet the zest of its sweet milk. Due pity to all us fools who would seek to juice the world.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
28 days
(calmly reclining in therapist's office) As far back as I can remember, I've always respected the Altoid.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
1 month
Wish I could make one of those "LBJ if he were still alive" posts, but sadly I've never met the man.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
1 month
In warlock chat: Who else Amulet keep them up all night 🤣. To my most loyal underling: I fear the Amulet no longer calls out to me. .
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
1 month
I'm one with my breath on the freeway. Struck by sudden insight, I'm realizing the oneness of all beings. I'm breaking out into laughter over it, I'm sideswiping a Ram truck and causing a five minute slowdown. You are still on the fastest route, despite heavier than usual traffic.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
1 month
Are you sure? By unsubscribing you'll no longer receive emails related to bugs, worms, beetles, and dirt.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
1 month
(selecting COWORKER FAREWELL in my neural implant) Well, I'm heading out, have a nice weekend! (selecting RECREATION MODE) Error. User has nothing to go home to.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
1 month
The secret to living a happy life is to "go about your day". There's really nothing that compares to this.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
2 months
Keep the change? Hah. My friend, the Buddha might tell you change is the only thing we CAN keep. Put your disgusting money away.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
2 months
Oh, grain! Just one groam of it would have me grinning with delight
@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
9 months
Food, please, sir? Victuals for the needy? Just a groam of wheat? Of cornmeal, sir? Just a single groam.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
2 months
Grains! Oh, goody, I've got grains in my lunch tin today, what a joy! Wouldn't you look? Wouldn't you look here and see? Oh, what fun!.
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@stackofbears
multimedia conglomerate
2 months
I went to high school with this kid who would always leave eraser shavings on his desk, which I sat at next period. I hated him, I would say such horrible things. Then one day he left an impeccably-shaded sketch of a boat, the same one I now captain for a commercial cruise line.
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