Noah Smith
@smithnoah
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Noah Smith is a writer or something. (he/him)
Broomall, PA
Joined June 2009
It’s weird that anyone would ever say “no pun intended” when you could say “that was pun-intentional.”
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Said Matt Gaetz “if me and you seven Vote to oust him, we’ll get rid of Kevin” So through speakericide His leadership died And I’m sure that it went straight to … hell.
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Happy first anniversary to my most popular tweet of all time. Sadly, we’re still no closer to cracking this case.
Today would’ve been Agatha Christie’s 132nd birthday … if it had not been for the actions of one of the people in this room.
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Just like with my children, I am constantly calling Alexa and Siri by each other’s names
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So now, apparently, I have to figure out what costume I’m going to wear when we go to see the Taylor Swift concert movie? Marriage, year 21.
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Activate Rodney mode … Geez! If got a mug with a head like that on it, I’d tell the bartender to take it back. I tell ya, if we had hunches like that, we’d solve every murder on the books! They say a supermodel can smile with her eyes. This guy can scowl with his hair!
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So Palisades Mall (@BePalisades) has tons of stores and restaurants, a ropes course, and a giant Ferris wheel, but no gender-neutral bathrooms. Come on! It’s 2023, people.
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At least Homer ate his one slice at a time.
Burger King's new cheeseburger has extra, extra, extra cheese on it. We hate it. https://t.co/4dxGZJy2r6
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I agree 100% but it’s not like we non-fascist Gen Xers can bring it up at the next meeting.
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Doc is here? Doc is not here? Doc is here!
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The kids are very excited to leave out a plate of Johnny Cakes and Ale for when Thomas Jefferson comes down the chimney on Independence Eve.
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So interesting how little Hollywood cared about releasing holiday-themed movies anywhere near the holidays they depicted back then. Miracle on 34th Street also came out in June, a year earlier.
#OnThisDay in 1948, Irving Berlin's Easter Parade had its premiere in New York City. Judy Garland and Peter Lawford, who sing 'A Fella With An Umbrella' star in the film alongside Fred Astaire and Ann Miller.
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My wife and I are visiting London for a few days. Our hotel is quite close to Buckingham Palace. Sadly, I did not sleep well on the flight, so I was too tired today to be funny to try to make the guards laugh.
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Ryan Seacrest gets offers to host TV shows the way the rest of us get spam emails.
Ryan Seacrest Named ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Host, Replacing Pat Sajak
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