happy halloween i am sexy The Jacket From Drive

i went to the game awards and a guy sitting in front of me said "i know it's kinda nerdy but i'm just lookin for my mary jane u kno like if she got red hair i'm gonna give it one shot" then opened his phone to his ig feed and it was entirely photos of people cosplaying the grinch

killing it at work lately. accidentally hit my boss in the face with a metal pole last week and then told him to shut the fuck up today when he told me to clock in

it's 30 degrees out

https://t.co/JkzRzNeL44

i changed my profile picture for the first time in 5 years do not be afraid

ok the quotes are eating me alive, I'll give the gift ♥️

picked out the perfect christmas gift for someone but then started worrying it was so perfect that it conveyed an uncomfortable level of intimacy https://t.co/y70zgNCkcN

I was at a sports bar last night that had tennis on after the eagles game and when Anna Wintour came onscreen a guy said "now who is this diva"

when i was smoking crack i would always say thank you when the plug handed me the crack and then he’d say “don’t thank me. stop thanking me. you don’t say thank you for this shit”

my friends are hitting vapes that look like the trust device from one battle after another

art school things

gossipped too much and became burdened with information I did not want to know that now weighs heavily on me

One of the most fabulous, fun sets in 1930s films in "Ready, Willing, and Able (1937) with Ruby Keeler and Lee Dixon....

local crowd NOT receptive to my stand-up

omg? 😭

death cab for cutie fans we are so back

how to stop touching third rail third rail benefits third rail near me open now

ok I don't have a clip but I swear Liam neeson says "Sammy" exactly like this in love actually when he goes to meet his son after the drum performance

living in the pnw is very bad for your soul long-term but it has its fairytale moments

Diana Ross performing “The Boss” while dressed as the stem of the Big Apple at the 1979 #MacysParade. 🍎