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Pinned Tweet
03/22/24
Pre-save:
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Travis Barker has agreed to play drums for every single band at Warped 2022
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You thought we were joking, didnโt you?
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Unfortunately every band on Warped Tour has been canceled so we need to start over sorry everyone
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In other newsโฆ
Expect some incredible changes in 2023. More soon.
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Andrew Tate is officially banned from Warped Tour.
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Congratulations
@TRAPTOFFICIAL
on 600 albums sold, come play the Ernie Ball stage next year!
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If you think you might pass out from dehydration please visit our monster energy truck
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@FRONZ1LLA
@VansWarpedTour
Hey Fronz,
Weโre not sure about selling Warped Tour just yet. Johnny Craig generously offered us 800 Mac books as payment which our poverty stricken interns could really benefit from. For now, if youโd like to sponsor the hotdog stand, FronzillaDawgsโข could be yours by tomorrow
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Weโve received a lot of questions pertaining to Portland, OR. The answer is no, there is no PDX date. Itโs not that we canโt, itโs just that the people there are among the worst people on the planet.
With that being said we are very excited for 3 Florida dates.
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Sorry there is no shade we do expect some deaths but please drink the hot dog water itโs only $9
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Hey, weโve missed you. Announcements coming soon.
RT for a chance to win a very special surprise.
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If you want to know what time bands are playing go fuck yourself
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You vs. the guy she tells you not to worry about
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Itโs a scorcher today, remember to plan ahead - layer up and drink vodka in your friends car before entering
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Do you wish you were here?
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Our on-site tattoo artists are doing amazing work this year, stop by the INKโD tent to get yours. ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
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Warped tour fact: Katy Perry performed in 2008 and then she fucking ghosted us
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Dahvie Vanity has died
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If youโre looking for air conditioning go fuck yourself
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โHow can a festival possibly host 60+ bands in a single dayโ
Us:
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Front Porch Step will be performing at least 300 yards outside the premisis
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Our apologies Mr. Trapt. We can upgrade you to the Full Sail stage no problem, weโve got a slot for you right before BOTDF.
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Today we have installed generators for hair straighteners so you can plug-in and fix those bangs you sweaty bitch
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Johnny Craig will no longer be performing as he sold his producerโs MacBook with all the necessary backtracks on it
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A mic stand just threw Ronnie Radke into the crowd
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The K-pop stans have began mating with the juggalos, we expect a crossover at Warped Tour 2040
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Sheโs a 10 but didnโt have a scene phase
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Warped Tour 2023 has a brand new sponsorโฆ welcome
@DennysDiner
!
Say hello to bottomless Grand Slamwiches and Pancakes to keep you going when the Sky Vodka slows you down! ๐ฅ
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The warped tour urge to drink vodka in my car and get a sunburn
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Itโs 100 degrees outside right now which means itโs perfect weather for a beanie
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yes, reel big fish is playing again this year because, to be honest we may have a fetish for trombones
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Warped Tour 2022 has been rescheduled for winter. Itโs not because of coronavirus or anything, we just prefer you were cold.
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Weโve added water to the nachos to improve hydration
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Here at Warped Tour our number 1 concern is your health and safety, which is why weโve added sniper towers with thermal capabilities in both the west and the east wing. Anyone with fever of 101 or higher will be tranquilized and transported to the Rockstar Quarantine Tent.
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Whatโs the worst merch design youโve ever seen?
Hereโs our staff picks
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Warped Tour is NOT over and we donโt know whoโs spreading that information. You can still pay $50 to come and watch Tilian pelvic thrust through the DGD set.
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@exillvs
@SeaSirocco
@pastacrylic
just my two cents here but, art being difficult to master is precisely why good art is so special. itโs a testament to dedication, zeal, and heart.
typing prompts into something for X result is the antithesis of this process.
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We want to thank all of our loyal fans and followers from across the years, and we want to do it the only way we know how.
This year every band will play at once, simultaneously.
Thatโs right, now you can watch ALL your favorites bands at the same exact time, on 86 stages.
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We will now be checking for V-cards at the front and rear entrances. A lot of people have confused this with vaccination cards, so we need to clarify that we are in fact checking for, and excluding virgins (sorry metalcore bassists).
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Weโre right here, waiting...
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Apparently Winds of Plague played When We Were Young fest today
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Please stop hurling monster energy drinks at the armed security drones, they are here for your protection and potential annihilation.
With that being said, no stage diving or we will ejaculate you from the event area and shoot you repeatedly.
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You just had to be there
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At Warped Tour we donโt kink shame.
Rockville howeverโฆ clearly doesnโt understand the complex dynamic between the pissed-on and the pissee.
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Mom: no snake bites
14 yr old me:
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Our Last Night just covered the elevator music from their hotel yesterday
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Here at Warped Tour we take pride in safety, thatโs why every attendee entering out facility will be given a voucher for one emergency hot dog.
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Regular sex: *kissing, slowly removing each others clothing*
Emos: *aggressively trying to peel pants off, trip, laugh, says sorry*
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Kyle Rittenhouse has been banned from warped tour. Since weโre the first festival to announce this, we better not see you at the So What festival.
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Weโve ran entirely out of food for the day so if youโre hungry go fuck yourself
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Our Last Night has covered WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion
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Alumni who came to Warped Tour in the 2000โs need to stop by the medical booth for a quick evaluation. Good news though, if you pass youโll receive a special bracelet earning you senior citizen discounts at the hot dog/nacho stand.
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Jeffrey Starโs 9ft wig is doing a seminar on humility by the full sail acoustic stage
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youโll get it someday king
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Our Last Night just covered Friday by Rebecca Black and itโs fucking Thursday lmao
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Warped 2022 announcement ๐ฅ
Ed Sheeran will be covering โCount Your Blessingsโ by Bring Me The Horizon in its entirety.
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Riff Raff just picked up a guitar and to our surprise can play exactly zero riffs
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Please tag your favorite band below and retweet. As a fan oriented experience, our goal is to bring you the music YOU want this summer, so help us out! โ๏ธ
#Warped2021
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The Maine have all died, however in their final breaths they promised to return as โGhost Maineโ at Warped 2022
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Itโs our honor to announce that Bryan Stars has arrived and is headed toward the busses
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We will be shooting cum out of the t shirt cannon during Reel Big Fishโs set
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If you watched boys like girls play โthe great escapeโ in 2006 you qualify for a senior discount on the new Blackcraft Hotdogs
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Lil Xan was slated to perform this summer but he slept through the meeting so weโre replacing him with Lil Penicillin who weโve been told has very nearly beaten his staph infection
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Verified โ๏ธ Warped 2023 ticket holders will get a new clip-on badge PLUS 10% off monster energy hot dogs
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Please stay away from the milking tent unless you have your Moo bracelet
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@halfxwaygone
@UtahFormon
@TRAPTOFFICIAL
We are dedicated to proving you wrong Michelle. As you can see, we are providing live updates to Warped Tour which is currently happening right now, you just werenโt invited.
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Warped Tour fan safety is our
#1
concern, so prior to entering we will need to test your resilience by having Parker from TSSF kick you directly in the center of your back.
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When your little cousin catches you coming back from the pre-thanksgiving dinner walk
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We know thatโs vodka in your water bottle Jessica
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Yes thatโs Waka Flocka and yes heโs 9 feet tall. Come meet him at the spotlight tent where everyone will communicate with him solely in ad libs
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Our amazing interns have put together a great spreadsheet of viable bands with no members that could potentially be canceled.
The spread sheet is empty, but they are working very hard.
- Warped
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We like to have fun at Warped Tour.
However this recent Supreme Court ruling has gotten under our skin and made having fun very, very difficult. Knowing women just lost bodily autonomy today in countless statesโฆ Itโs time to speak up, everyone. Codify Roe vs Wade.
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Brokencyde have all tested positive for gorilla grip bussies and can no longer pass gas without creating a 12kHz whistle thatโs severely impacting the emotional support dogs at the Waterparks performance.
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Guitar and drums are cool and all but
Saxophone is officially the horniest instrument. Just tell your bassist to play saxophone.
#WarpedTourFacts
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band guys are some of the most unhealthy individuals weโve ever personally witnessed so this year we are introducing clean, organic cocaine sourced from HAACP certified, 100% solar powered farms in Columbia
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You at 10am: Iโm so excited to see all my favorite bands
You at 8pm:
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The artist formerly known as Kanye West has been dropped from Warped 2023
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Jeffree Star will not be performing however we are currently in talks with Tila Tequila
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Weโre now supplying all of the bands with fleshlights modeled after Dahvie Vanityโs asshole
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Weโre excited to announce our new therapy bus courtesy of Psychologytoday. We suggest everyone visit it upon entry and receive a free cry session with a licensed cryologist
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Skinny jeans, jelly bracelets, raccoon stripes, pigeon toes, peace signs, snake bites, MySpace, NeoPetz, depression, bitches get snitches, teen angst bullshit with a body count, gold foil shirts, two belts, red bandana, fingerless gloves, skateboards, and captain Morgan
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We would like to remind everyone that floppy witch hats ARE banned by the side stage. You are however welcome to wear sombreros or visors (turned sideways)
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Sleeping with sirens got a little older,
they are now called Snoring with sirens.
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Emo Nite just Warped Tour
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Check out our new anti-crowd crush signs:
โPlease donโt squeeze us, make room for Jesus.โ
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RT and follow for a chance to win $500 and an all-expenses paid trip to the top-secret WT2023 Experience being held at the beautiful bay of Guantanamo!
*Some exclusions apply
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@TRAPTOFFICIAL
@iTunes
Mr. Trapt as you can see we are dedicated to providing live updates to warped tour. We are not a band, but an event that many people attend.
Is Trapt a band? Or is it still just Domestic Violence, The Musical.
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Weโve been seeing a lot of wish .com Warped Tours being slated for the end of summer/early fall. We couldnโt bear to see it. Not only are we coming back purely out of spite, Monster Energy Hotdogsโข will be FREE for all attendees.
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We were trying to figure out which deathcore band was taking the stage, turns out it was just Trace Cyrus from Metro Station
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If you want to smoke weed and become even more awkward in crowds head to the grassy area
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Never Shout Neverโs Christofer Drew shouted โNever!โ when we politely asked him to wear shoes. As a result they have been kicked off the tour for hypocrisy. They will now be busking in the parking lot.
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Will after reading the Warped Tour press release (2019, colorized)
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