My Twitter timeline: -joke -joke -mental health awareness tweet -joke -rant about something serious -joke -help this dog -joke -joke about my mental health -joke -some picture I guess -joke -joke that is also sort of a cry for help -joke -no, seriously help this dog

Earthquake being all pick me during this hurricane

He is a very, very good boy. Message me if you’re interested or know someone else who might be

Please adopt Kermit

My boyfriend is a WGA strike captain and I asked ChatGPT for funny picket line chants. Bummer they won’t be able to use any of these bangers

Wait did we figure out if we can subscribe someone to Twitter Blue as a prank

DECEPTION IS REALITY @RabbitHolePPlus

The rootinest tootinest cowboy in the wild wild west: "PLEASE HELP I can't stop rootin and tootin"

Wait, everyone is still here? I thought we all agreed to go to Hive

Some stills from my first time as a Director of Photography. Keep your eyes peeled for Beacon directed by @kellynugee coming soon.

Brandon: “She should watch that Bigfoot show we watched. oh wait, that was me alone, in your house” @bwinfrey

Here’s my Hive. DM me for my MySpace, Newgrounds, Fark, Habbo Hotel, Something Awful, Coke Music, WebMD, Neopets accounts

Happy Halloween from Sexy Jeff Dunham and his Sexy Puppets

Great dating app for ladies who never want to have an orgasm again

date: so you like cooking? me: yeah, i make a mean bruschetta bruschetta: what up little bitch boy

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 The first audio of Chris Pratt voicing Mario in the animated Super Mario Bros. movie has been released The film hits theaters in April, 2023 https://t.co/9biOxRrWNP

Hey Oxford, we need a chiller period. I’m tired of being worried people will think I’m mad at them

Apple Memories absolutely nailing the vibe of my solo location scout in Lancaster

I am so tired from running in terror. @EnterDelusion does it again.

“Why is everyone acting like I’m crazy for having a fish funeral” -me aloud to my dogs while wearing all black bc I’m in mourning

If you’re upset about this tweet, it’s okay you’ve said this to a woman before