skinnyanorexic
@skinnyanorexic
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We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain. What didn't kill me just requires a few centuries of therapy. I'll never heal.
Joined October 2012
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Beyond true.
And if I say something they’ll use it against me.
Building higher walls.
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Life taught me;
Everything you say can and will be used against you by someone you once trusted
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Don’t ask if you don’t want to listen.
Don’t say that you’ll be there, when you won’t
Don’t say you didn’t know, when you did.
Listen -not only go our words but also to our silence
Don’t belittle our feelings.
Act before it’s too late
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Prefer being awake when people sleep so I can sleep when people are awake.
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You broke me, took my heart and walked away.
So i'm here, breathing but not alive.
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I know I'm alone, unwanted and don't matter.
I'm use to it
But sometimes, it hits me like a bullet and the pain at that moment is unbearable
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And sometimes, you have to walk away to save yourself.
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But you see, it's all over now.
No more me and you.
No more us.
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I'm used to it.
But it still hurts.
To be ignored. Left out. Forgotten.
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Don't come into my life and pretend to care if you're going to leave when I need you.
Just. Stay. Away.
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You never asked me to stay.
So I left.
Alone as usual.
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I wish I had someone that I could tell everything.
Someone that would listen and stay.
Someone that could love me for being just me.
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I'm sorry for being me.
And if I hurt you in anyway by being me, I'm so sorry for that too.
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Maybe, I loved you too much and you loved me too little.
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I apologize for things I did and for things I didn't do.
Plus things I might do in the future.
So sorry.
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I don't cancel because I don't like you.
I cancel because I might get too attached and because I'll break when you'll leave.
Bc you'll leave
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Because we all get addicted to something that takes away the pain.
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I hate goodbyes but if you leave without a goodbye I won't forgive you.
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I wish I had someone.
But I deserve no one and nothing.
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Trying to find an excuse for absolutely everything
#GrowingUpWithAnxiety
#GrowingUpWithDepression
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"I often said "sorry" when I should've said "goodbye"."
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Do you remember how skinny this eating disorder made you?
Oh well, me neither.
But I remember the fat.
Being fat.
Feeling fat.
Thinking fat.
Breathing fat.
Fat.
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I used to be a people-person but,
people ruined that for me.
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Truth is, at the end of the day, all you have is yourself.
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That moment when someone is nice to you and you start crying bc you're not used to be treated like that.
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Sometimes you have to walk away.
To save what's left of yourself.
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I'm so easy to replace.
I'm used to it.
Noone would fight to have me in their life.
Used to that too.
Still hurts.
Bc you mattered, I didn't
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Please, walk out of my life before this year is over.
Like now.
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Tired if people calling sick people awful and disgusting.
Think before you speak.
Oki.
Bye.
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What ever happened to "I'll always be there for you" ?
It didn't happen here.
You left when I needed you the most
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It's easier to walk away before they leave you.
Because they will leave.
They always do.
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Forever missing the old Twitter.
The talks.
The support.
The laughs.
The "family" feeling.
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Regardless where I'm at, I feel unwanted.
It's hurtful and emotional exhausted.
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Tired of ppl saying that it is unhealthy to be skinny.
Newsflash! It's unhealthy to be fat too.
Just saying.
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I should have loved myself with the love I gave to you.
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Miss lowest weight.
Miss starvation high.
Miss the right kind of emptiness.
Miss the control.
But I'll get there. It's a need. A must.
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I eat because I'm fat.
I'm fat because I eat.
The never ending circle on repeat.
Self destruction on repeat.
Self hate on repeat.
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I'm fat because I made myself fat.
No one forced that food into my mouth.
I did it to myself.
Now I have to undo it.
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The pain never truely goes away.
It just fades until it's bearable, but it leaves a scar deep within, forever.
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Lost every person I ever loved.
Kind of dangerous when you got nothing more to lose.
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Sure, I'm used to some pain.
But this, I just can't.
But I'll put on my "happy face" to make you feel better while I cry silent tears.
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Please, just hold my hand and walk with me through the darkness.
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I think most people are here for the same reasons;
To not feel alone.
To not be judge.
Think about that before you hurt someone.
Simple.
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