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Shadows of Control Profile
Shadows of Control

@shadows_control

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Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness.

Ireland
Joined February 2024
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
27 minutes
Leaving an abuser takes unimaginable strength. But when survivors finally speak—and their stories are met with doubt, judgment, or silence—it delivers another deep betrayal.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
2 hours
Abusers may be emotionally distant, cold, or unresponsive, leaving you questioning if things are OK. You comply with their demands just to get any warmth or connection, creating a dynamic where you cater to their needs while yours are ignored and neglected. #EmotionalAbuse.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
4 hours
True change requires deep self-reflection, accountability, and a commitment to unlearning harmful behaviors—a journey that few abusers are willing to take. What are your thoughts?. #BreakingTheCycle #abusiverelationship #domesticabuse
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
6 hours
Anger after domestic abuse isn’t something to avoid—it’s often part of what sets us free.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
7 hours
You ignore their provoking messages. You refuse to engage in the same exhausting argument. And they come back with:. “You’re so cold. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”. This is a manipulation tactic designed to bait you into reacting. When you don’t give them the emotional.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
10 hours
My abusive ex-husband hacked into my phone and secretly read private messages between me and my best friend. Soon after, he began telling me he was having vivid, psychic dreams about her. He described her thoughts, feelings, and experiences with eerie accuracy—because, unknown.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
12 hours
When abuse is only recognised in its most extreme forms, countless victims are left unseen. Media portrayals convince many survivors their experience doesn’t qualify—because others had it worse.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
15 hours
Abusers constantly change the rules. One day they want one thing, but when you deliver, it’s suddenly not enough. They move the goalposts so you’re always striving to meet impossible standards, feeling inadequate and off-balance, never able to satisfy them. #CoerciveControl.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
18 hours
A loving partner will never feel threatened by your autonomy. #toxicrelationship
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
22 hours
Abusers 'weaponize' their children in their campaign of control over their partners. #coercivecontrol
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
1 day
Emotional abuse doesn’t just hurt — it rewrites your sense of worth, making you believe you're never enough, no matter how hard you try.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
1 day
Your abuser may threaten self-harm to manipulate you into staying. This plays on your empathy and fear, making you feel responsible for them. Suicide threats are emotional blackmail meant to control you and stop you from leaving. #CoerciveControl.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
1 day
Reclaiming freedom and autonomy after leaving a controlling relationship is empowering—it’s about taking back choices, passions, and dreams that were stifled. What’s one powerful step you’ve taken? Share your story below to inspire others. #HealingJourney #domesticabuserecovery
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
1 day
When an abuser controls the story, they don’t just rewrite the past — they rewrite how the world sees you and how you see yourself.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
1 day
Many people have asked why I don’t mention narcissism in my posts, even though I’m often describing narcissistic behavior – my abuser is also a narcissist. The reason I don’t is that I believe it’s more important to focus on what abusers do and how their behavior affects you,.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
1 day
Being in an abusive relationship can severely impact your physical health. Living in a constant state of 'fight or flight' and perpetual 'survival mode' takes a huge toll on the body. The prolonged exposure to stress hormones can lead to a myriad of health issues, such as.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
2 days
It’s not just what they did. It’s the memories that intrude, the constant explaining to others, feeling unheard and disbelieved. It’s rebuilding with shaky hands, learning to feel safe in your skin again. But there’s a quiet whisper that maybe something better is waiting ahead.
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
2 days
Abusers don't like seeing their partners do well in life. #toxicrelationship
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
2 days
Trust yourself and always believe in you! #gaslighting
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@shadows_control
Shadows of Control
2 days
From daily decisions to life-altering choices, victims of coercive control have to survive by pleasing, appeasing, and staying small.
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