I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

🎃

This pumpkin is scarier than our defense.

Has anyone called to tell Leonardo DiCaprio that Diddy’s trial is over and he can come home now?

What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make my ass look fat?

Does anyone out there old enough to remember some of your grandmothers sayings? Exp- Charlie there is tighter than Dicks Hatband. Who is Dick?

I posted “I’d tap that ass” to a post yesterday asking if I’d vote for Tulsi Gabbard if she decided to run for POTUS. Just the first thing that pops in my mind on these hypotheticals. Anyways, somehow THAT ONE of the multiple quick reply’s from yesterday decided to get even and

Dallas is just a whole different heat. 🦩

For all those who shoot fireworks, just remember there are those who can only hear the bang and not see or understand the celebration you’re having. For it is you they only worry about not the meaning for each explosion they endure. Happy 4th of July 🐾

I accidentally wrote this on Ms Maye Musk page when I noticed all the birthday wishes thinking it was her special day. 🤦‍♂️ So I went ahead and just sent it. I’m sure neither the real Elon or his mother will ever see this so I’ll post it here for the few followers that actually

I’d help anyone that needs it. Three weeks ago I saw an older woman with a flat. I was walking to the pharmacy to grab my meds then stopped on my way back by. I told her pop the trunk and dug out her spare. She had an old Jack and the spare was in bad shape. I changed it.

Congrats to The Dallas Mavericks and Cooper Flagg drafted #1 tonight. Ever wonder who creates a teams emblem? Especially a new one like this one was? That would be me.

I’d spank my Monkey right now but we’re smoking a blunt.

In the Night - Pet Shop Boys https://t.co/RRGO2LiFj3 via @YouTube

🙏 for SECQB13 I am a ex college teammate and he is in intensive care and could use everyone’s prayers at this time. He has a severe lung disease he obtained through Covid pneumonia in 2019. He was found unresponsive late last night and is on a ventilator.

I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my buddy used that paper to roll his joint. He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

First thing I see this morning is an article about Elon doing a bunch of recreational drugs while working on the Trump campaign. Ok, so what? He didn’t serve on a Ukrainians company board of directors or leave a white baggie of cocaine in the White House. So he partied a little