breaking old patterns means stepping into tension, rather than trying to avoid it

let go

you can spend enormous amounts of energy trying not to be misunderstood, trying not be seen as foolish, trying to convince everyone of your intelligence sometimes it works. sometimes it doesn’t. but it always based in fear, in the belief that you cannot be the fool, or else…

(to be clear, I think IFS is a wonderful tool, just not as an all-encompassing system that is meant to explain everything within us)

Marie-Louise von Franz on the limits of Freud’s system; I cannot help but think the same criticisms could be made of IFS the IFS devotee labels each & every one of his parts and by doing so thinks he knows everything about himself

what one produces [through actual work] is always miserable compared with the fantasies one had lying in bed about what one would do if one could! - Marie-Louise von Franz

all the world wants to be met with appreciation & I think that’s nice

I just think it’s beautiful we live in a world where the best way to deal with negative emotions is to meet them with love & compassion

shame is a form of love. it’s an impulse to protect yourself from hurt from others. it’s a beautiful thing, even when it gets in the way, and therein is the way to dissolve it: by appreciating what it’s trying to do for you, and loving it for that

shame is incredible fuel. you can build an extraordinary life by running away from your deepest insecurities. not a life that you enjoy or feel whole in, but an extraordinary life nonetheless

a lot of suffering is rooted in the idea that your life should be something different than it is

where is your mind? is it just in your head? is it spread out throughout your body? or does it extend into the world around you, emerging from a web of relationships to all that surrounds you?

to really know who you are, you usually have to suffer through an intense period of not having a clue who you are… and if you try to hurry or skip through that period, you end up with a rushed answer, an answer designed to make you feel good & safe & comfortable, and that’s

some people try to solve this by overcompensating in the opposite direction (eg choosing a partner who is nothing like their parents) but you’re still in the grip of the complex; it’s still determining your behaviour to break free you must “solve the problem” that your psyche

you almost certainly will repeat the dynamics you experienced in childhood; best to be aware of that, and see what you can do to break free

on wasting your life

ie true masculinity is robust, flexible, and secure in itself; it does not need to posture or compare the moment we are posturing for status points, we’re in the antithesis of the masculine

this is why Andrew Tate and his type seem so effeminate at times, even though they’re posturing at masculinity they haven’t integrated their own femininity, so it erupts in odd ways, against their will: they become a stiff caricature of masculinity, which is very un-masculine

being curious has its cost: you might find out you’re wrong about everything which is fine if you’ve experienced that before & learned you can survive it, but many people haven’t. their lack of curiosity is just a defense of their mind & spirit

what I’ve learned is that most emotional problems are simple to solve, but not easy and of course the analytical mind hates this idea; it would prefer a very complicated answer that is easy to implement. that’s why you see people on here coming up with complex theories of

if you had to grow up too fast, and were restricted in how childish you were allowed to be, you’re in a tough spot, because the childish aspects of your personality are still there: only now they’ve been shoved in a corner & ignored, and are probably none too happy about it and