ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
@satanicyearning
Followers
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Following
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edtwt / diary .ᐟ gw: 73kg .ᐟ ugw: 52,5kg .ᐟ high cw .ᐟ 420 .ᐟ dm’s open!! .ᐟ in semi-recov
19 ⌖ he/him
Joined September 2025
── ꉂ ᵎᵎᓚᘏᕐᐷ #edtwt intro/ moot hunt .ᐟ he/ him .ᐟ 06 .ᐟ stonerexic .ᐟ dutch .ᐟ pro recov I follow any1 17+!! RAT OUT!!! —̳͟͞͞ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
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“If you really had an eating disorder, you wouldn’t like food”
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I was having a panic attack and have been awake since 12am, randomly called my boyfriend awake around 02:30 cause i was scared he died but he picked up and stayed otp with me for 30 min :((( i love him so much wtf
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I wanna move in with my boyfriend so bad I hate being in a care place JUST LET ME MOVE OUT WHENN I DECIDE I WANT TO NOT AT 21 WITH A WHOLE CARE PLAN FUCK YOU LET ME BE WITH MY BOYFRIEND AFTER A HARD DAY AND ALWAYS SLEEP IN YHE SAME BED FUCK YOU
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haven’t weighed myself in like a month, haven’t been counting either and binged a lot…. definitely gained but too scared to check now
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his neck just hurts from looking down all the times that my own eyes are closed im stupid LMFAOOO
joked that I looked ugly giving him head and that im not surprised he never looks down, he changed the subject, I joked he didn’t even deny it, he ignored it and kept talking about his thing… so im genuinely disgusting okay so you hate my face and hate looking at me
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my bad “unspecified dissociative disorder” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHICH ONE DO I HAVE BRO
found out I actually do have an official diagnosis of c-ptsd and did 😐 COME ON FUCK ME
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found out I actually do have an official diagnosis of c-ptsd and did 😐 COME ON FUCK ME
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joked that I looked ugly giving him head and that im not surprised he never looks down, he changed the subject, I joked he didn’t even deny it, he ignored it and kept talking about his thing… so im genuinely disgusting okay so you hate my face and hate looking at me
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relapsed sh after like almost a year, and now I just feel horrible cause ik hes gonna see it this weekend and he’ll blame himself
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having a breakdown about not having had any best friends in my life EVER except if they were also romantically involved with me, but boyfriend also had a bad day and wants to sleep until morning, so can’t even call him to feel better
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I always think im not doing that bad until I do tests like these out of boredom 😭
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im so jealous and insecure its genuinely gonna destroy my relationship hes so perfect but I CANT STOP THINKING AHOUT HIM CHEATING OR WANTING EVERYONE HE TALKS TO
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and push my friends away more, I miss them so much and made plans w a few to hopefully get some contact back, ily guys u all are worth more than how thin your body is 🫶
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I know I only made this account recently when I relapsed but I decided to go into semi-recovery, not because of my physical health but my mental, I used to be so isolated and alone and it’s happening again, and I need to stop making myself believe I deserve it -
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so scared of completely flipping my life over I keep throwing up and shifting between ideas im so terrified bro
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I dont like what I used to like but i never did any effort in finding new hobbies, new content creators, interesting subjects, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IM SO BORED AND I FEEL DOOMED
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