I played an old guitar and my fingers have smelled of pennies for weeks

I'm back

Honestly, I wish they'd film this season of the Bachelorette during COVID. I want to watch a bunch of bros trying to drink champaign through their masks, complain about not being able to kiss and try to fight at six feet.

Are ear pods even comf?

Wrapping presents watching breaking bad.

Microwave coffee notes of berry and stouffers

I’m still just upset with microwaves. The potatoes on the left are too hot and the right side is so cold. :/

Why the bowl burn your hand off but the food be cold?

Today I actually said, “I don’t want to talk, I just want to be pampered.” Please kill me. Or pamper me. Either one really.

Bring me back to Portland where the waitresses don't call me "hun" "babe" and "love".

Today I half accidentally ripped my permanent retainer out of my mouth.

I just said "12 ounce" when ordering a pizza. #coffeeonthemindallthedamntime

OUR SONG OF THE DAY is "Electricity" by @sampinkerton https://t.co/7Et5bBSS2x #singersongwriter

Always feeling emotional about life tho

I wish "excuse me" was a question and the answer could be "no".

Really want a cat

"YOOO SALAD ROLLS 97214" - August to Siri

Bread Ready for Bread Eating Bread Ate lots of Bread today Dead from Bread

Poison

"Politics. But what even is politics?" - my lyft driver