you did not just layoff almost all of infra and then make some sassy remark about how we do batching like did you bother to even learn how graphql works

i'm thankful for getting blasted by this baja

will i get banned from family gatherings if i bring the taco bell baja blast pie to thanksgiving

i made a separate candy bowl for my (sicko) friends who like whoppers

still tryin to figure out what i’m doin with my life

the feminine urge to start a bunch of things but not finish them and then lay on the floor

jesus christ awkward has 2 w’s in it

ah yes, ensuring the community’s safety with notoriously safe…cars

so i’ve been reading the wheel of time and i’m starting to think robert jordan asked his wife what she found sexy in a man and she said “nice calves” so he made every love interest male character have nice calves

💚🧡💜

my very own @sachee mural

so i’ve watched a lot of murder she wrote, and there are so many episodes where jessica is meeting up with a niece or nephew and i was like “how many nieces and nephews DOES she have??” and the answer is a lot

people said a lot of horrible things to me after my elon musk tweets, but the one that haunts me the most is someone said“you look like zach braff”

when i die, i want my body to be turned into one of those medical skeletons but with a plaque next to it that says “she was hot”

jeez louise is short for jesus louisus

“Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary” lmao no no one remembers when i joined X because i never did and no one knows what the fuck that is #MyTwitterAnniversary

lol also love that feature is in quotes like…

it’s because everyone blocked him

lmfao ok my broski

wow those people get to be blessed by elon's giant brain smarts

hey @jack you gonna come get ya boy yet or nah