sarah
@sablaah
Followers
16,183
Following
1,204
Media
3,404
Statuses
36,367
hi! welcome to my microblog. take a look around! 🏄♀️
chicago
Joined February 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
London
• 289905 Tweets
Star Wars
• 210960 Tweets
Madonna
• 199014 Tweets
Premier League
• 177945 Tweets
#Maythe4thBeWithYou
• 162981 Tweets
#WWEBacklash
• 120882 Tweets
South Korea
• 107088 Tweets
어린이날
• 100509 Tweets
Hamilton
• 70653 Tweets
May the Fourth
• 70172 Tweets
Sadiq Khan
• 69280 Tweets
Lewis
• 68103 Tweets
Ipswich
• 67147 Tweets
Wolves
• 61070 Tweets
Haaland
• 58407 Tweets
Zemmour
• 58223 Tweets
Brahim
• 51937 Tweets
Susan Hall
• 49024 Tweets
Alonso
• 34881 Tweets
Girona
• 34551 Tweets
Naomi
• 24390 Tweets
Bloodline
• 22637 Tweets
Magnussen
• 20108 Tweets
Ricciardo
• 20045 Tweets
Lando
• 18167 Tweets
Lil X
• 17533 Tweets
Norris
• 15904 Tweets
Stroll
• 15887 Tweets
Randy Orton
• 15528 Tweets
Joselu
• 14773 Tweets
ふっかさん
• 13896 Tweets
humiliating. looks like shit. yet another massive W for earth, the best planet in the universe
we’ve seen eclipses on earth, so here’s an eclipse from mars.
this is mars’s moon phobos eclipsing the sun.
231
1K
15K
612
39K
379K
at the beginning of pandemic: I am going to get abs and learn to do the splits
currently in pandemic: I should start smoking cigarettes
354
35K
327K
She's so crazzzzzzy! Love her!!!
326
14K
274K
me after insisting i’m only getting a couple things, I don’t need a basket
770
28K
260K
omg thanks for ending the meeting 4 minutes early and "giving me some time back" -- now I can finally pursue my passions
312
21K
239K
I ALREADY UPLOADED MY RESUME WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FILL OUT MY EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
288
22K
178K
sincerely do not get why straight women spend their time on here complaining about the men they date. my bf made me watch him try on cargo pants and said “these pockets will be so great, in case we find a rock or something.” love it. no notes
288
10K
160K
I could never be a movie critic because almost every time I see a movie I’m like “yeah that was fun” and it’s usually because I got popcorn and a big soda
165
15K
146K
babe are you ok?? you’ve barely fucked your DUNE 2 promotional popcorn bucket
115
8K
117K
let’s all go stand around together at 2pm tomorrow, too. that was fun
54
11K
115K
STOP! NARCING! I brought a watering can to dinner tonight because a friend had given it to me earlier. as I was leaving the restaurant, a woman told a waiter “she’s stealing your watering can!” and then I had to be like “this is actually mine” which is embarrassing for no reason!
173
2K
91K
yes I can it looks round like burger
85
5K
83K
🙈 what if we kissed 🙉
😉 in the amazon mental health port-a-potty 🥰
103
5K
76K
my 92-year-old grandma just remarked upon hearing that john madden passed at age 85, “that’s a good age to die.”
78
2K
71K
I wish there were an app where I could see this kind of stuff
Wish you all a wonderful weekend ! Find a friend , give them a squeeze !
241
755
15K
55
3K
65K
She Quit Her Job to Find Herself. She Found Out she Doesn't Want to Do Anything.
66
7K
58K
walking on to the set of “is it cake” with a gun in my mouth and making them all guess
77
4K
56K
me and my friends having a crazy time on our 8th grade trip to D.C.
89
2K
49K
it would be kind of funny if this was his last tweet ever
Elmo is really sleepy. Elmo doesn't think Elmo is going to make it to midnight.
#HappyNewYear
everybody!
800
7K
86K
57
2K
47K
brown rice can't be THAT much better for you, can it? I ask because I don't like it
266
2K
47K
there was an entire day on here where all we talked about was hitting him with a car
i refuse to believe any of you had a strong opinion about james corden until today. i want to see audited records of you watching at least 30m of his show at one time. this is like when you guys go off about stuff happening on the view.
395
13
591
46
3K
40K
my mom is doing what she’s calling “the parade of pies:” walking around with each pie, making us look at it and go “ooooh, looks good” before its sliced. it is a new thing this year. I sense it’s not going away
82
856
39K
it has come to my attention that I’ve been dressing just like snoopy for the past two winters. cheers
35
846
38K
going up to every guy dressed as the bear and saying “ohhhh I love bob’s burgers”
25
2K
35K
this is how desperately I text when I know I’m about to get broken up with
107
846
27K
how did y’all react the first time yall seen someone doing c*ke?
584
57
713
73
1K
26K
everyone’s mouth exposes their insides. he’s no different from you or me.
the pop tart guy’s mouth is an incision exposing his filling. he’s not smiling he’s dying
65
992
20K
32
1K
25K
me midway through DUNE 2 because I didn’t realize there’d be like 30 minutes of commercials before it started
39
1K
25K
this is what it feels like when i visit my beautiful friends in their cool city
29
993
24K
your annoying ipad kid nephew after one too many Shirley Temples at the family function
69
722
22K
no shade to this guy at all, he looks great. but this is very funny to me
92
423
21K
I do not fear a single woman who’s this bad at facetune
Imagine being a “fearless, macho”Hamas commander and then these ladies end you
3K
355
2K
36
874
20K
and you may find yourself…in a beautiful cave…with a beautiful car…
72
1K
20K
you are someone’s most confusing twitter account. they followed a while ago. you’re too benign to mute but annoying enough that they think “huh, why am I following them again?” every few months. it’s worse than being someone’s most-hated twitter account. you’re that. to someone
178
2K
15K
ugh. boss just asked if I could put in a few extra hours in the lab tonight. we’re on a crazy deadline and “someone’s gotta make sure the monster stays on the slab” 🙄 the monster’s not going anywhere! he’s literally chained to the slab!!! this sucks.
21
1K
15K
idk. shit year for memes overall, but this was one of the worst. I don’t even know if it was this year actually. doesn’t matter
51
281
14K
Disney unveils its first look at Kodi Smit-McPhee as WOODY in its mini-series origin story of the human Woody that the toy is based on
66
559
13K
I feel the same way about elf on the shelf as everyone who’s always talking about credit scores on here. it’s so new. it wasn’t this way before and it doesn’t have to be this way now
51
932
12K
Laura Ingalls Wilder is losing a “Wisconsin celebrities” bracket to a YouTuber named dunkey
159
664
11K
when mom makes you wear your winter coat over your costume so no one can even see that you’re tinkerbell
12
541
11K
omg they’re already fundraising off of it
13
381
10K
not surprised to see so many people gleefully cheering on a powerful woman losing her job to a white man
28
501
10K
I KNOW they meant bingo card. it’s very funny to fuck up one of the most overused phrases on here. thanks
7
34
10K
why do people keep calling elon “elmo?” it’s so rude. elmo has charisma. And dignity.
63
783
9K
when you realize you haven’t met your deductible yet
21
959
9K
just said “the grink” out loud to a table full of people who all stared at me blankly. this is the “two americas” you hear about
23
537
8K
practicing how to pose for my “sexual assault has to be validated by The New Yorker before I believe it” twitter ID photo
33
382
8K
@lvamsgatthebeep
we were all sitting outdoors and there were a few plants? not sure what was going thru her head
6
10
7K
some people are saying I should be grateful, reminding me that one can pee during this time. yes, you can. you should probably be able to pee whenever you need to during the work day though 👍👍
21
116
7K
@ahumblebunnie
when it seemed like the weekend should be over but there was still a full two minutes left. I love this so much
2
13
6K
the karaoke bar isn’t letting me do the confrontation from les mis even though I can do both parts at once
12
595
6K
John C Reilly could do literally any movie but no one could do Walk Hard
32
404
6K
people don't wear their neckties at the base of their head, they wear them at the bottom of their neck. this is actually an incredibly unserious debate, and anyone who'd participate is childish
16
363
5K
what’s so funny is that these media outlets are *friendly* to her. they’re not trying to catch her in anything, just trying to ask questions that may help clarify the admin’s motives and position. and she can’t…fucking…do it
18
170
5K
Chet Hanks’ Blood Will be Used to Develop Vaccine for Whatever His Whole Deal Is
5
178
5K
dressed up my 12 foot Home Depot skeleton for football season what do u all think
14
156
5K
Based on current trends, probably close to zero new cases of woke mind virus by end of April
@Astro_Angry
Unless it is stopped, the woke mind virus will destroy civilization and humanity will never reached Mars
7K
8K
47K
15
242
5K
If you’re not hesitating to hit the publish button because you’re a little bit scared, you haven’t written anything important.
31
31
455
21
206
4K
say whatever you want about hubie halloween but no other movie would be brave and funny enough to do the June Squibb tshirt gag
29
342
4K
at a covid testing place where they’re just yelling out people’s results like they’re a deli sandwich order
4
85
4K